“Suicide doesn’t end the pain, it just passes it to someone else.”

[alfie]

"Suicide doesn't end the pain, it just passes it to someone else."

Many of us have heard or read this quote.

What do you think and feel when you come across this?

Personally, it irritates me because the intention behind it appears to be to guilt-shame a person into not committing suicide. But at the same time I cannot deny that it is true. I find the guilt to be the biggest barrier to me killing myself.

For those of you with loved ones, how do you cope and rationalize or justify the fact that you would cause possibly irreparable damage to your loved ones that you leave behind?

 

[Lmd]

For me the quote is true but I don't care. Nobody depends on me so I don't feel guilty, it's my life after all and I'm sorry for those who are gonna suffer. I'm trying my best.

 

[WhatIsMyLife]

Makes me feel like even more shit tbh. Creates this feeling of being trapped.

I feel like people who say that or that "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" don't understand how crippling the suicidal feeling is. It's an awful feeling.

 

[Torbasco]

I understand the intention and what it's trying to convey, people close to you will be traumatized by your loss. But they'll get over it and move on with their daily lives. I'm selfish enough to let a bit of a shadow haunt the few people who cared about me, if it means I don't have to go through absolute hell anymore.

 

[http-410]

Even if I understand what is meant by this, this is not a logical argument for me, but a platitude.

For me ctb would end the pain (or whatever).

What if you don't care about your relatives or you don't have any?

I would not care.

People should stop guilt tripping.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

That is true but when you are in pain nobody cares (until you die)

 

[Life_is_comedy]

"Suicide doesn't end the pain, it just passes it to someone else."

I have no one who cares so why does it matter? I find that quote so out of touch with reality.

 

[Ren Elsie Jewelria]

The breeders are the selfish ones! Not suiciders.
Making kids doesn't start happiness, it just passes pain and misery to someone else.

Antinatalism and efilism FTW! :)

 

[I screwed up]

That is true but when you are in pain nobody cares (until you die)

Absolutely true. ... Who the fuck cares once u die

 

[LittleJem]

My brother said to me this week 'maybe the reason no-one calls you is because you are depressed'. This is when he was telling me off for losing touch with my family, who didn't call me once in a year when I was ill and bedridden.

My mother didn't give me a roof over my head when I was bedridden and my marriage had ended.

So I feel lucky with my family. No-one to hang on for here.

I personally think that anyone who wants me to stay alive when I wake up wanting to die, want to die all day and go to bed fantasing about death - they are immensely selfish. I stayed alive for at least two or three years out of guilt and not wanting to hurt them. I have tried everything to get better. Now I am done with getting better I just want it over.

 

[alfie]

For me the quote is true but I don't care. Nobody depends on me so I don't feel guilty, it's my life after all and I'm sorry for those who are gonna suffer. I'm trying my best.

Fair enough

Makes me feel like even more shit tbh. Creates this feeling of being trapped.

I feel like people who say that or that "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" don't understand how crippling the suicidal feeling is. It's an awful feeling.

Exactly... I hate being guilt-shamed, honestly... But, unfortunately, insensitivity seems to be the way of life of many people...

I personally think that anyone who wants me to stay alive when I wake up wanting to die, want to die all day and go to bed fantasing about death - they are immensely selfish. I stayed alive for at least two or three years out of guilt and not wanting to hurt them. I have tried everything to get better. Now I am done with getting better I just want it over.

See, this is the other side of the coin that many people (especially normies) overlook. For suicidal people, it is very painful to stay alive. Just to choose to stay alive for the ones they love is a sacrifice in itself, one that is often underappreciated.

 

[Eren]

If someone wants to, obviously that person is going to feel terrible for a long time.

But that doesn't mean that you can't be free to do it, since it's your life

I feel like people who say that or that "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" don't understand how crippling the suicidal feeling is. It's an awful feeling.

That phrase is simply a lie.

 

[Futile]

I will be more than happy to pass the pain onto the people who hate me

 

[whywere]

WOW, am I going to be ultra selfcentered, I have NO ONE at all..ZERO, for real, so when and if I ctb, my organs or whatever they want to take gets donated and the rest is burned and tossed in the wind. So if and when I would ctb, nobody knows or cares. Perfect!

 

[ExitTheMatrix]

Suicide DOSN'T pass on the pain. Procreation DOES.

 

[BipolarGuy]

"Suicide doesn't end the pain, it just passes it to someone else."

Many of us have heard or read this quote.

What do you think and feel when you come across this?

Personally, it irritates me because the intention behind it appears to be to guilt-shame a person into not committing suicide. But at the same time I cannot deny that it is true. I find the guilt to be the biggest barrier to me killing myself.

For those of you with loved ones, how do you cope and rationalize or justify the fact that you would cause possibly irreparable damage to your loved ones that you leave behind?

The quote has an underlying question to it:

"Do you want to pass on your suffering to the people around you?"

The expected answer is of course "No".
But what about when those people that you have around you have been causing your emotional pain?
None of us want to hurt the people we like, but frankly why should we care about protecting the people who hurt us?

Maybe it's just me feeling bitter.

 

[Antigonish]

"Suicide doesn't end the pain, it just passes it to someone else."

Many of us have heard or read this quote.

What do you think and feel when you come across this?

Personally, it irritates me because the intention behind it appears to be to guilt-shame a person into not committing suicide. But at the same time I cannot deny that it is true. I find the guilt to be the biggest barrier to me killing myself.

For those of you with loved ones, how do you cope and rationalize or justify the fact that you would cause possibly irreparable damage to your loved ones that you leave behind?

My response to them is "if you guys didn't cause it, I wouldn't have to end it."

My family hates me almost to the point of 'barely tolerable'... I think, not sure. My ups and downs can be drastic and like night and day. One second i care too much and the next I care about nothing. I used to get those talks, but because of my sometimes harsh remarks I just get the strong looks of smug disapproval. Like their telling me "such a waste".

So in all honesty I think I lost their sympathy a while back, like sometimes I feel like they want to tell me. "go ahead, get it over with" haha, can't give them the satisfaction yet.

But my mom has told me two things that I'll never forget. One was, "Not in my house!". The second was "You are a very beautiful boy, you could probably be a model. Too bad you've ruined your body with all those scars." Kinda felt like she was saying no one will never love me.

But all in all I think anyone who actually really cared wouldn't say such a selfish thing. That's how they get their name added to the note. That I'll mail to a national news hub. And I can be brutally dramatic. Taking out my enemies from beyond the grave.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

For me, it's an effective guilt-shaming technique. I've had it used on me, and it brings up images of my mother sobbing, or my husband having a relapse, or my sweet little goddaughters in tears at my funeral. I don't want to hurt any of them.

But the flip side of that statement is that it insinuates that you have to be the one to continue to suffer. Anyone who says that to you is basically saying, "better you than me. You deal with the pain." That's not fair either.

 

[alfie]

But the flip side of that statement is that it insinuates that you have to be the one to continue to suffer. Anyone who says that to you is basically saying, "better you than me. You deal with the pain." That's not fair either.

So true

 

[esse_est_percipi]

It's a false statement if taken literally (it does end the ctb person's pain since they are dead, and it doesn't somehow pass that same pain onto someone else. The pain from one organism cannot mysteriously pass on to another organism according to any known physiological or biological laws.)

If interpreted as a metaphor, its validity depends on the context and circumstances it's applied to (If the suicided person had friends and relatives who cared about them, then it will cause them grief, but which will probably be different in kind and degree to the pain of the suicided person. If they didn't have anyone who cared about them, then no one will really grieve, so the pain won't be 'passed on'.)

It's a trivial observation only 'true' if taken as a metaphor, dressed up as a profundity used to cynically manipulate people to live an existence they reject.

 

[schopenh]

It's meaningless. Every single suicical person on the planet could read and discuss the statement and it would have no effect on the numbers. We all know our deaths will impact our loved one. So let's do what we can about that and the reality that suicide is gonna happen rather than rehashing the passive-aggressive sentiment.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

Anyone who says that to you is basically saying, "better you than me. You deal with the pain." That's not fair either.

Yup

 

[Sprite_Geist]

It prompts the question: Why are suicidal people responsible for other peoples feelings? If you live in an individualistic society then you will often hear another quote: "Nobody is responsible for your happiness except yourself.", this is often used by the same individuals who are against suicide. So which one is it? It cannot work both ways. This is not to say that I believe what I have just said, it is just a rhetorical question as part of the argument...

Edit: To add to this post - Suicide may cause pain to others, but so do a lot of things. Breaking up with a boyfriend/girlfriend causes pain to them, getting rejected by your crush is painful, being turned down for a job that you want is painful, but do we say any of these are wrong or do we hold anyone responsible? No. Some groups get upset by abortion - they are known as the Pro-Life movement. Should we take away a womans right to have an abortion because it "causes pain to others"?

 

[not4us]

"Suicide doesn't end the pain, it just passes it to someone else."

That quote makes sense, nevertheless I don't think it's intractable.

When my time comes, to those who love me I will write a note explaining that there is no need to suffer over my demise. The goal is to get them to understand that my death is actually something to be cheerful about as I am no longer suffering.

I really believe it's feasible to convince rational people that cessation of suffering is good, not bad, and that those who think otherwise are actually selfish sadists.

In my note I will also tackle the possibility of them feeling guilty by simply saying that nobody is at fault but me, and nothing could have been done by them to prevent it.

 

[RoachApproach]

"Suicide doesn't end the pain, it just passes it to someone else."
personally it just makes me feel trapped. everything makes me feel trapped though. It's a feeling that I just can't escape... heh
Many of us have heard or read this quote.

What do you think and feel when you come across this?

Personally, it irritates me because the intention behind it appears to be to guilt-shame a person into not committing suicide. But at the same time I cannot deny that it is true. I find the guilt to be the biggest barrier to me killing myself.

For those of you with loved ones, how do you cope and rationalize or justify the fact that you would cause possibly irreparable damage to your loved ones that you leave behind?

 

[_Minsk]

hmm if this would be true, then people who were happy their entire life and then die due to tragic incidents like a car crash would have to pass on their happiness too.

 

[FuneralCry]

If someone is suffering so intensely with no way out then it is selfish for other people to expect them to stay alive. Wouldn't others rather the person is at peace rather than in pain. I mean we are all going to die anyway.

 

[woxihuanni]

Nobody who would actually grieve throws such shaming statements at you anyway. It only means 'don't decrease the real estate value of the house you turn into a corpse in, don't bring police here over your corpse, don't make a disturbance in somebody's schedule for a couple of hours', etc.

 

[BridgeJumper]

Am I supposed to care when my family treats me like a human doormat and my best friend drank sn last year

 

[woxihuanni]

My response to them is "if you guys didn't cause it, I wouldn't have to end it."

My family hates me almost to the point of 'barely tolerable'... I think, not sure. My ups and downs can be drastic and like night and day. One second i care too much and the next I care about nothing. I used to get those talks, but because of my sometimes harsh remarks I just get the strong looks of smug disapproval. Like their telling me "such a waste".

So in all honesty I think I lost their sympathy a while back, like sometimes I feel like they want to tell me. "go ahead, get it over with" haha, can't give them the satisfaction yet.

But my mom has told me two things that I'll never forget. One was, "Not in my house!". The second was "You are a very beautiful boy, you could probably be a model. Too bad you've ruined your body with all those scars." Kinda felt like she was saying no one will never love me.

But all in all I think anyone who actually really cared wouldn't say such a selfish thing. That's how they get their name added to the note. That I'll mail to a national news hub. And I can be brutally dramatic. Taking out my enemies from beyond the grave.

Yeah that was one of the first reactions I got from my spouse "Not in my house'. It is OUR house and I'll make sure you face the consequences if you manage to off me.