I actually wnt to die by it should seem like accident without investigation...can anyone pls help
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Why don't you get dressed as a climber and get some climbing tools? It might look like an accident that way I think
Shiv15
Student
- Sep 3, 2020
- 196
I think i read on your other thread that you are in india? Well I am indian too, though Australian citizen. Feels good to talk to someone of Indian heritage.
The only thing I can think of atm is autoerotic asphyxiation.
Why do you want it to look like an accident though?
'And since you live in India, I am pretty sure you can find really high cliffs to jump off of. Where I live, there is literally nothing high enough for me to jump from.
The only thing I can think of atm is autoerotic asphyxiation.
Why do you want it to look like an accident though?
'And since you live in India, I am pretty sure you can find really high cliffs to jump off of. Where I live, there is literally nothing high enough for me to jump from.
Coz I don't want my family name to be demolished...also I don't have access to many things
x~Sophia~x
Always give 100% - unless you’re donating blood.
- Sep 10, 2020
- 1,361
Can I ask how old you are Ruby?
I know you've spoken before about ctb by choking on cake...
You seem pretty desperate to go, and I get the impression you're wanting to go before your life has even begun.
You don't have to divulge anything you don't feel comfortable with, but it may help us to understand your urgency if you are able to share a small part of your story.
Do u know wtever I wrote today I can't even remember that n it is a huge issue to me now this is happening wid everything in my lyf now
Problem is tht I can't seem to have a particular story abt myself am in a state where I don't feel myself n I don't see any future all the day wt I think abt is how shud I die so that no-one blames each other n everyone sees it as an accident.if u ask me about something I can't seem to answer tht .I can't even talk to my family as before...I really don't want to live and do u know wtever am talking abt now don't make any sense...I don't understand anybody else or my feelings anymore...
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Time to fly
TTFN - time to fly now
- Nov 3, 2020
- 255
It does sound like you need to chat to someone...the other person who replied who is in India might be the best person to reach out to but any of us can be contacted via PM and we would be happy to listen
x~Sophia~x
Always give 100% - unless you’re donating blood.
- Sep 10, 2020
- 1,361
Do you have a doctor you can talk to Ruby? I think it is fairly obvious that you are very confused and suffering terribly with your mental health at the moment. I don't know if it is possible for your doctor to refer you to talk to somebody who is qualified in mental health, in your country? I think you need to reach out for some help, urgently. Is it possible for you to open up to your mother and ask her to take you to your doctor?
U
U know I really wnt to die,i hate myself so much now sometimes it feels as if am acting...once I put carrot inside
U know I really wnt to die,i hate myself so much now sometimes it feels as if am acting...once I put carrot inside my throat on 4 Nov at tht tym I felt y nothing happened becoz it was gulped in n I think it got inside somewhere in throat I think coz my epiglottis is little shrunken now bt it doesn't matter I want to die I don't want family to have more pressure on me n now am hating myself more.
x~Sophia~x
Always give 100% - unless you’re donating blood.
- Sep 10, 2020
- 1,361
Ruby, I really wish I could give you a massive hug right now. 
Time to fly
TTFN - time to fly now
- Nov 3, 2020
- 255
Ruby I think this is the best advice you will get today...really do think you need to speak to someone as you seem in a lot of distress and suicide is something that you need to plan and not just do on impulse...speak with a doctor and see what can be done for you
Shiv15
Student
- Sep 3, 2020
- 196
Brother, you know death isn't something to joke around with. Your family name will be demolished? Oh boi, I have seen so much of this. The "family name" bullshit. One of the reasons I truly despise India. The culture is actually pretty shit.
If you really do want to die, I would say the best option for you is jump off a cliff.
2nd of all, don't worry about your "family name". Trust me, there will be no damage to your family name. People will understand what you are going through. Yes Indians tend to make other's business there business, but you know what, your family name will NOT be demolished.
Don't think about what others will think. DO what you want. If you want to die, do it. If you want to live, live. If you want to enjoy your life, Enjoy it. You gotta do you bro.
I actually went to a psychiatrist my father ,mother all know that am in depression bt really I don't want to live becoz they r really so gud tht they don't deserve to see this...
If u ask me to say anything I will say please kill me somehow am tht helpless...
I even told my mother once to kill me somehow now n now I feel more bad abt myself now I am hiding all thts happening inside me coz am also not able to feel my body very much...can u pls tell me how I shud die so that no one gets to question my family n everyone feels it as of accident and also no police case occurs pls help...I am able to talk wid somebody after so long Also there's lockdown so we r staying at home if I die now people will judge my family which I don't want bt after lockdown opens anyone can save me...
I even acted 10-15 days before putting carrot inside tht I was all ok was able to enjoy somewt bt now all failed I even hate myself more tht I wasn't able to kill myself...
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x~Sophia~x
Always give 100% - unless you’re donating blood.
- Sep 10, 2020
- 1,361
I don't know how to help you Ruby... I don't even want to help you... and anyway, that's not what we're here for. I honestly think the best way forward is to speak to your mother about how deeply suicidal you're feeling... it shouldn't come as any surprise to her. Hugs
Y u don't want to help me ...pls help coz I HV messed all in my house...pls helpI don't know how to help you Ruby... I don't even want to help you... and anyway, that's not what we're here for. I honestly think the best way forward is to speak to your mother about how deeply suicidal you're feeling... it shouldn't come as any surprise to her. Hugs
x~Sophia~x
Always give 100% - unless you’re donating blood.
- Sep 10, 2020
- 1,361
Huntfish34
Enlightened
- Mar 13, 2020
- 1,622
Messed means everyone will be having more confusion after I say I want to die again...it's better tht I die now pls help all the mess inside me will just increase family tension and if I die now then it will seem tht it's becoz of study only coz am not able to do that too now at all bt acted Infront of family tht I can pls help I know am d worst person now
Time to fly
TTFN - time to fly now
- Nov 3, 2020
- 255
Ruby you really need to speak to your family, they will be more hurt if you did end it...am sure they love you and will help...if after that you still feel you want to go then no one can stop you...
x~Sophia~x
Always give 100% - unless you’re donating blood.
- Sep 10, 2020
- 1,361
If you are feeling as bad as you sound, then your family will already know. You say you're confused and you feel you are acting, your family will have noticed that your behaviour is out of character and they will be concerned about you. I'm sure your family love you very much and they deserve to have the chance to help you to overcome your problems.
You haven't said how old you are and that's why I'm not prepared to 'encourage' you in any way, because I suspect that you may be still a child.
South Asian families in particular are very prideful of their family to the point where any type of bad juju like suicide or mental illness is like a blight or curse to them. I don't think her family is receptive of her having issues, and will be quick to judge her as lazy or attention-seeking. That's why they believe she's acting out. And when family gets involved, everyone will know her business so instead of having one trusted person, you're having a dozen or so people chastising her for her decisions. Its fucking rough as hell.
Pls help me I can't even write in a good manner now pls I don't want to trouble anyone further...I hate myself n my body more than ever before I can't face anyone I know I will be a mad person in sometym maybe I am now.
It's me who said that am acting...
Time to fly
TTFN - time to fly now
- Nov 3, 2020
- 255
Ruby sorry we don't all fully understand your culture but can you please at least try and speak to someone like this https://www.globalministries.org/indian_samaritans
I have no idea if they can help, but I really am worried you are going to do something drastic that could be helped for now...again as I said if after reaching out to them or a doctor you still feel the same then nothing any of us can say will stop you...I pray for peace in your head and peace in your heart...
Actually u r percepting it wrong I am telling tht my family is too gud and am worse like I don't find any happiness anywhere it feels as if I need to die only.thts y searching for ways to die so that they don't get blamed
x~Sophia~x
Always give 100% - unless you’re donating blood.
- Sep 10, 2020
- 1,361
Also I don't remember much of wt I do nowadays actually I never paid heed to see myself I shud HV done all these at strt bt now I really wnt to die do u knw even when reading a method I force myself to understand it in proper way so that I die
x~Sophia~x
Always give 100% - unless you’re donating blood.
- Sep 10, 2020
- 1,361
Ruby, Rikki151 has posted some advice for you further up this thread. I think that's the 'best' of the advice you're searching for, it's a simple method, although you'd need guts to do it. I wish you the very best xxx
Please do not do anything in a hurry. If you do not take enough time to think things through, you could end up much worse. For example, if you pick a bad plan, you could end up with brain damage and that will be a terrible burden for your family.
To echo what others have said you may want to look for online mental health services. You seem desperate and impulsive, and honestly not in a good mental state to suicide safely (yeah I get that sounds weird). We are here if you need to talk, and there are resources on the internet if you're concerned about talking to your family about mental health. You seem young, and you seem to avoid answering how old you are which is concerning.
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