Ok, so I did this. Or set out to do it. A few years back now. I was a revolving door patient, always in and out of hospital and nothing really changing. This particular time I just decided - that's it, the longer I go without food, the sooner I will die. That was my mindset. In no way at all was it easy and in no way would I recommend this to anyone. I thought I would die long before I got to the weight I did. I could deal with chest pain, the exhaustion, even the muscle wastage to an extent. But then I started going blind, so I panicked, I started eating a bit more - I wanted to die, not go blind. However, as much as I increased my intake a bit more, it just fell off faster. My flat became my jail cell. I couldn't tell anyone what was going on so I isolated myself from everyone - that was hell on earth as all I wanted was to tell someone how awful I felt. Day by day, week by week, I became so weak, I couldn't leave the house, I couldn't shower without needing a lie down, I couldn't put my socks on or get off the couch, I couldn't lift my duvet off me to get out of bed, and in the end, I couldn't even support my own head without some 'manual' help with my hands. Anything I did manage to do, was followed by a lie down. Long story short, it was the blindness that freaked me into admitted what I was doing. I was admitted to hospital straight away weighing in at a BMI of 9, I had severe muscle wastage, my organs were all failing, I developed psychosis, and to top it all, I ended up temporarily brain damaged and lost the ability to even communicate effectively for several months. Whilst it is a miracle I survive, I suffered PTSD from that alone. Nowadays I still have issues with communicating effectively. To this day I still wish I had died - being told if I'd stayed home one more day and I wouldn't have made it - makes it feel all the more crappy - I came so close.
Whilst I understand the appeal, sometimes it doesn't pan out like you planned and could even end up being worse than actually dying.
