Suicide by adventure -- terminally ill

[YourNeighbor]

Months-long lurker, first time poster. I'm physically sick (likelihood of treatment is in single digit percentage), facing an unpleasant end, and may try to avoid that fate by ctb while I still have some physical ability. I'm not depressed per se (not happy now of course), and am ideating some ways of dying that may have broader value or will at least include an adventure before the end. In late 30s, and dying in a hospital being pumped full of shit is not attractive.

Anyone consider ctb by adventure? This may combine methods (say, going to a Boko Haram militant camp in Nigeria and detonating onself--hero death fantasy--beyond far-fetched, I know), a one way hike into the Rocky Mountains, or sailing off into the sunset (literally, saw that mentioned on another post), or something like that.

Personally, I've thought about hiking into a beautiful wilderness (perhaps with N), going as far as my weakening body can go, and maybe succumbing slowly to exhaustion/exposure (could be peaceful) or hastening the end with another method once supplies run out.

Anyone else have ideas/plans along these lines? I guess these are more fantasies than strict plans, but one can dream...

 

[unperson]

Was just thinking about how it could be nice to be by a warm fire at night in the mountains, have some drinks and a cigar and maybe some sedatives & whatever will help with that deep eternal sleep, and just drift off by the fire

 

[PaxAmerica]

Yes get on sail boat and head off was my post. No cares and no intention returning. Just head off and expect to die at sea. I wanna do this

 

[Schevan]

That is a beautiful way to go. A one way camping trip, with a peaceful end when you're ready to settle down.

 

[YourNeighbor]

Was just thinking about how it could be nice to be by a warm fire at night in the mountains, have some drinks and a cigar and maybe some sedatives & whatever will help with that deep eternal sleep, and just drift off by the fire

I like it. Being out in nature gives me more peace than anything. And that feeling of perspective/insignificance one gets in spectacular settings could make taking the exit much more peaceful.

Yes get on sail boat and head off was my post. No cares and no intention returning. Just head off and expect to die at sea. I wanna do this

Yes, that image (though I don't sail or have a boat) struck me, and got me thinking about the trip before the trip, so to speak. It would be good to have a meaningful one. Would you sail anywhere specific, or just open ocean? I could imagine seeking some amazing scenery on the way (Tierra del Fuego perhaps, Alaskan coast, just to toss out personal impossibilities).

That is a beautiful way to go. A one way camping trip, with a peaceful end when you're ready to settle down.

Peaceful is the goal (though some adventures might not be). There would probably still be tremendous distress with SI etc., but in a beautiful setting, or following some tremendous achievement, that distress might be much lower than within four walls somewhere.

 

[FuneralCry]

I love the idea of ctb in nature, being in an peaceful place as I leave this world. It probably is just a fantasy, but I much prefer it to the idea of ctb in a building. I just think I would feel more calm about it, if I was far away from other people as well.

 

[BrokenArrow]

I really like your idea and think it's an ideal way to CTB.

I was planning on doing something similar, but what stopped me was the fact that my body probably won't be found for a long time and I'd be listed as a missing person for a considerable amount of time. This would drive my family crazy not knowing what had happened to me.

Instead, I'll be catching the bus in a hotel room and leaving a note on the bathroom door warning them that my body is inside and to call the emergency services asap. At least my family will be notified quite quickly.

If I didn't have family/friends I would definitely just head to the mountains and disappear. Sounds beautiful.

 

[PaxAmerica]

I like it. Being out in nature gives me more peace than anything. And that feeling of perspective/insignificance one gets in spectacular settings could make taking the exit much more peaceful.


Yes, that image (though I don't sail or have a boat) struck me, and got me thinking about the trip before the trip, so to speak. It would be good to have a meaningful one. Would you sail anywhere specific, or just open ocean? I could imagine seeking some amazing scenery on the way (Tierra del Fuego perhaps, Alaskan coast, just to toss out personal impossibilities).

Peaceful is the goal (though some adventures might not be). There would probably still be tremendous distress with SI etc., but in a beautiful setting, or following some tremendous achievement, that distress might be much lower than within four walls somewhere.

I want to sail and maybe find a remote island to live on and maybe even die on

 

[SuicidalAgain]

When you guys mention you'd CTB in a hotel room, are you thinking of something in your city or somewhere far away?

I keep thinking about this, how it would be more ideal to not have my family find my body, I think it would be more convenient in the same city but kinda depressing because I hate it so much. Recently the only times I was glad to be alive were when I was travelling, so I also think if I went elsewhere to ctb, maybe I wouldn't follow through (I need that impulse, and a different setting would most likely not give that to me).

My life has been so mediocre and I've hated it for so long that I often found myself thinking I needed to sink deeper to the point of no return so I could put an end to it all, since I can't manage to get well and keep well. The road to recovery is so disheartening because you can get your hopes up for a small victory, but then everything comes crashing down sending you several steps back and before you know it you're contemplating the sweet embrace of death again.

 

[LansJ70]

Imagine being in nature, the middle of nowhere with an amazing, spectacular view and just drifting off.

Came from nature, back to nature, in death being absorbed back into the life giver to us all.

Perfect.

 

[YourNeighbor]

I really like your idea and think it's an ideal way to CTB.

I was planning on doing something similar, but what stopped me was the fact that my body probably won't be found for a long time and I'd be listed as a missing person for a considerable amount of time. This would drive my family crazy not knowing what had happened to me.

Instead, I'll be catching the bus in a hotel room and leaving a note on the bathroom door warning them that my body is inside and to call the emergency services asap. At least my family will be notified quite quickly.

If I didn't have family/friends I would definitely just head to the mountains and disappear. Sounds beautiful.

I wouldn't just disappear without letting friends and family know. There are ways to delay notice, by mail, delayed email, etc., and I would almost certainly do something like that. Not trying to cause any more distress than necessary.

 

[BobMorane]

@YourNeighbor Send me a message. I might have something for u

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

I don't mean to talk bad on your idea of doing it in nature. I've seen pictures of what animals and bugs can do to someone who exits existence and it's pretty gross.

 

[LansJ70]

I don't mean to talk bad on your idea of doing it in nature. I've seen pictures of what animals and bugs can do to someone who exits existence and it's pretty gross.

Yeah but you're dead. What do you think happens to regular dead people?

They go through the crematorium and their body come out just like when it went in but preserved intact forever, or you get buried and then in 1000 years an archaeologist digs you up and, like sleeping beauty you look just the same?

Where do you think skeletons come from?

If animals and bugs don't get you the bacteria will.

Honestly how old are some of you? 5?

The Buddhists put the bodies out deliberately so they can be consumed by animals so everything goes back to nature and nothing is denied to it.

People are happy to eat burgers and meat from maybe 15000 different animals in their lifetime - but the idea of they themselves being animal food, even when dead and know nothing about it, is too much to contemplate?

We are part of nature, that's how it works, we are not supra-nature. Maybe that's our problem. We think we are superior to it.

Whatever, I think sometimes I read things here and my mind just boggles at the stupidity.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

Yeah but you're dead. What do you think happens to regular dead people?

They go through the crematorium and their body come out just like when it went in but preserved intact forever, or you get buried and then in 1000 years an archaeologist digs you up and, like sleeping beauty you look just the same?

Where do you think skeletons come from?

If animals and bugs don't get you the bacteria will.

Honestly how old are some of you? 5?

The Buddhists put the bodies out deliberately so they can be consumed by animals so everything goes back to nature and nothing is denied to it.

People are happy to eat burgers and meat from maybe 15000 different animals in their lifetime - but the idea of they themselves being animal food, even when dead and know nothing about it, is too much to contemplate?

We are part of nature, that's how it works, we are not supra-nature. Maybe that's our problem. We think we are superior to it.

Whatever, I think sometimes I read things here and my mind just boggles at the stupidity.

Pretty rude. If you don't care what happens to your corpse cool...some people care and don't want animals to ravage their bodies. How old am I? Old enough to know I don't want my dead flesh ripped apart and consumed in some fucking forest. Stupid? You're comment is pretty dumb. I look at gore pictures. I know what the fuck it looks like when one's body is left either in isolation inside or out in the wilderness. I prefer neither so won't let that shit happen. "Where do skeletons come from?" Ummmm what? And you're boggled? Look back at all you wrote here. It makes no real sense or real argument. Go for it if you think it's the way to decompose, but don't judge an obvious turn-off to the whole "I'm going out into nature".

Skeletons are made via human. Wtf does this have anything to do with letting nature have their way?

You're spouting off serious shit. I don't think I am superior to anything I just don't want my God damn shell of a body ravaged and rotting and end up on some fucking gore site.

 

[LansJ70]

Pretty rude. If you don't care what happens to your corpse cool...some people care and don't want animals to ravage their bodies. How old am I? Old enough to know I don't want my dead flesh ripped apart and consumed in some fucking forest. Stupid? You're comment is pretty dumb. I look at gore pictures. I know what the fuck it looks like when one's body is left either in isolation inside or out in the wilderness. I prefer neither so won't let that shit happen. "Where do skeletons come from?" Ummmm what? And you're boggled? Look back at all you wrote here. It makes no real sense or real argument. Go for it if you think it's the way to decompose, but don't judge an obvious turn-off to the whole "I'm going out into nature".

Skeletons are made via human. Wtf does this have anything to do with letting nature have their way?

You're spouting off serious shit. I don't think I am superior to anything I just don't want my God damn shell of a body ravaged and rotting and end up on some fucking gore site.

What I'm saying is your body is going to rot when you're dead, there's nothing you can do that can stop that.

But you're dead so you won't know anything about it.

 

[BrokenArrow]

When you guys mention you'd CTB in a hotel room, are you thinking of something in your city or somewhere far away?

I keep thinking about this, how it would be more ideal to not have my family find my body, I think it would be more convenient in the same city but kinda depressing because I hate it so much. Recently the only times I was glad to be alive were when I was travelling, so I also think if I went elsewhere to ctb, maybe I wouldn't follow through (I need that impulse, and a different setting would most likely not give that to me).

My life has been so mediocre and I've hated it for so long that I often found myself thinking I needed to sink deeper to the point of no return so I could put an end to it all, since I can't manage to get well and keep well. The road to recovery is so disheartening because you can get your hopes up for a small victory, but then everything comes crashing down sending you several steps back and before you know it you're contemplating the sweet embrace of death again.

I'm thinking a hotel outside of the big city I live in - somewhere that my family don't go very often and where I know they won't be constantly reminded about what happened. Spending your last moments in a shitty hotel is quite depressing though. Hmmm. Maybe I will do it in nature..?

I agree, one of the few times I felt alive was when I was travelling. I was thinking of doing a suicide trip to Mexico City to buy N, but I don't think I can really be bothered at this point. I always loved how anonymous I was when travelling though, nobody knew my past or my character. I could just fade into the background as another forgettable backpacker making my way around the globe.

I totally agree about recovery. The amount of times I convinced myself that it was all going to be ok and that I could have a normal life - and then within a couple of months I'm like ohhhh fuck this, I gotta catch the bus.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

What I'm saying is your body is going to rot when you're dead, there's nothing you can do that can stop that.

But you're dead so you won't know anything about it.

Getting cremated stops rotting.

 

[Jumping_realms]

Anyone other than a militant camp sounds dandy to me, as long as I have two bottles of N at all times.

I couldn't sail off into the sunset to die drugless at sea or anything crazy like that, unless I have a good method planned.

I hope you find peace.

 

[Celerity]

Months-long lurker, first time poster. I'm physically sick (likelihood of treatment is in single digit percentage), facing an unpleasant end, and may try to avoid that fate by ctb while I still have some physical ability. I'm not depressed per se (not happy now of course), and am ideating some ways of dying that may have broader value or will at least include an adventure before the end. In late 30s, and dying in a hospital being pumped full of shit is not attractive.

Anyone consider ctb by adventure? This may combine methods (say, going to a Boko Haram militant camp in Nigeria and detonating onself--hero death fantasy--beyond far-fetched, I know), a one way hike into the Rocky Mountains, or sailing off into the sunset (literally, saw that mentioned on another post), or something like that.

Personally, I've thought about hiking into a beautiful wilderness (perhaps with N), going as far as my weakening body can go, and maybe succumbing slowly to exhaustion/exposure (could be peaceful) or hastening the end with another method once supplies run out.

Anyone else have ideas/plans along these lines? I guess these are more fantasies than strict plans, but one can dream...

I have had fantasies about killing myself in a beautiful national park. Unfortunately, none of the ones around here qualify. I'm so sorry about what has happened to you. Look up Final Exit Network. They may be able to help you.

Final Exit Network - Final Exit Network

We Support The Human Right To A Death With Dignity We hold that mentally competent adults who suffer from a terminal illness, intractable physical pain, chronic or progressive physical disabilities, or who face loss of autonomy and selfhood through dementia, have a basic human right to choose

finalexitnetwork.org

 

[LansJ70]

Getting cremated stops rotting.

LoLoL - so you're worried about your dead body being eaten by animals, but not about being shoved in an oven at gas mark 99,000?

But what if you can feel it?

OMG - you'd better stay alive forever otherwise it might get a bit uncomfortable for you.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

LoLoL - so you're worried about your dead body being eaten by animals, but not about being shoved in an oven at gas mark 99,000?

But what if you can feel it?

OMG - you'd better stay alive forever otherwise it might get a bit uncomfortable for you.

Find something else to do besides hassling suicidal people. One is a common way to dispose of and the other lands on gore sites. Adios and leave me ALONE.

And I am SORRY to the person posting. I don't mean to cause any anxiety about things. Go the way you want to. Take care.

 

[Celerity]

Whatever, you big baby.

Why are you doing this? Why are you kicking someone when they're down?

 

[PaxAmerica]

Why are you doing this? Why are you kicking someone when they're down?

Yes let it go. Move on people.

 

[YourNeighbor]

Just to refocus this exchange/thread, it's about realistic ways to commit suicide by adventure that people have considered, not challenging others' concerns about what will happen with their bodies after death. That's personal, and everyone is entitled to their own views. Thank you all for keeping things on topic going forward.

So we've seen sailing off into the sea and exiting during a camping trip. Self-detonation at a terrorist camp seems less popular. Curious if there are any others. Maybe trying to summit a major peak despite a lack of mountaineering experience? Spectacular views, and maybe hypoxia and hypothermia would seal the deal. Though for terminally ill folks, would be tough to muster the energy.

 

[BrokenArrow]

Did you hear about Richard Russell, the baggage handler at Seattle airport?

He stole an empty jet and flew it around the mountains and pulled off all these crazy manoeuvres without a pilots license or any other formal flight training.

He then deliberately crashed it into a remote island, committing suicide. No one else was hurt.

It's probably the most extreme form of CTB while doing something adventurous. Not too realistic for the rest of us, but it's an idea.



The footage of him doing a barrel roll gives me chills.

You can also hear his final conversation with the air traffic control agent. He sounds totally at ease, joking around and stuff

 

[PaxAmerica]

Did you hear about Richard Russell, the baggage handler at Seattle airport?

He stole an empty jet and flew it around the mountains and pulled off all these crazy manoeuvres without a pilots license or any other formal flight training. He then deliberately crashed it into a remote island, committing suicide. No one else was hurt.

Now that's how to do it!

Months-long lurker, first time poster. I'm physically sick (likelihood of treatment is in single digit percentage), facing an unpleasant end, and may try to avoid that fate by ctb while I still have some physical ability. I'm not depressed per se (not happy now of course), and am ideating some ways of dying that may have broader value or will at least include an adventure before the end. In late 30s, and dying in a hospital being pumped full of shit is not attractive.

Anyone consider ctb by adventure? This may combine methods (say, going to a Boko Haram militant camp in Nigeria and detonating onself--hero death fantasy--beyond far-fetched, I know), a one way hike into the Rocky Mountains, or sailing off into the sunset (literally, saw that mentioned on another post), or something like that.

Personally, I've thought about hiking into a beautiful wilderness (perhaps with N), going as far as my weakening body can go, and maybe succumbing slowly to exhaustion/exposure (could be peaceful) or hastening the end with another method once supplies run out.

I am so sorry to read about your poor health. I think you should do something like this. Are you in UK? I am sure wherever you are there will be folks here ready to join you on a final adventure.

 

[Neowise]

Welcome on SS! I'm very sorry to hear what brought you here. You aren't depressed but might have to die, that's just so cruel. I'm pretty sure most people here including myself would sell their soul to satan if we could absorb your illness and die instead.

Sounds pretty edgy lol, sorry. I do hope that even if you have a small chance of treatment, you will make it! I wish you the best, one way or the other.

 

[YourNeighbor]

Did you hear about Richard Russell, the baggage handler at Seattle airport?

He stole an empty jet and flew it around the mountains and pulled off all these crazy manoeuvres without a pilots license or any other formal flight training.

He then deliberately crashed it into a remote island, committing suicide. No one else was hurt.

It's probably the most extreme form of CTB while doing something adventurous. Not too realistic for the rest of us, but it's an idea.



The footage of him doing a barrel roll gives me chills.

You can also hear his final conversation with the air traffic control agent. He sounds totally at ease, joking around and stuff

Heard about this guy a while back. A risky (for others, as things could have gone poorly) and costly way to go out, but memorable no doubt. I mean, he will not be forgotten, that's for sure.

Now that's how to do it!

I am so sorry to read about your poor health. I think you should do something like this. Are you in UK? I am sure wherever you are there will be folks here ready to join you on a final adventure.

If you mean go out on a jet, I don't think I could. But the other stuff, I may. Really, I just wish death with dignity was available everywhere so that terminal people could get their N and enjoy whatever time they had left without agonizing over the worst that may come. That has for me literally taken up precious months of whatever time I have left. What's more is this is the relatively good time I have.

Welcome on SS! I'm very sorry to hear what brought you here. You aren't depressed but might have to die, that's just so cruel. I'm pretty sure most people here including myself would sell their soul to satan if we could absorb your illness and die instead.

Sounds pretty edgy lol, sorry. I do hope that even if you have a small chance of treatment, you will make it! I wish you the best, one way or the other.

That's kind, though trust me, no matter how badly you are, you do not want a terminal illness as a way to exit. F that noise, it's a horrible way to go, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

So I'm here, considering whether there is an option better than waiting until I'm in serious pain, bodily functions lost, losing my mind, and hooked up to to all sorts of tubes at a hospital before kicking the bucket. My sick cat had a much better death. Why can't any sick person have one too?

Not trying to woe is me y'all. Just sharing where I'm coming from.

So let's keep those fun(ish) death ideas coming. The plane hijacking is an interesting one, must admit.

 

[sully]

Hi, I am terminally ill too. Your idea sounds very attractive actually. The only thing I was thinking about is to drive off the cliff or something haha. But I am afraid to hurt other people and also it might not work.

If you want we could talk about it in more detail, I can write you.