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clawsofperdition
the end is near
- Sep 4, 2020
- 52
my date is coming up very soon hopefully (waiting for my second sn package since my first got lost). I always thought i'd ctb in a hotel room but lately i've been contemplating which will be more hurtful for my parents. I live at home with my mom. Things are tense in this country (Israel) for a while obviously. My father and sister live abroad which also scares me bc they'll have to come here for my funeral ig. I'm scared for my family and causing them unnecessary pain and anxiety. If I go to a hotel room to die, even if it's during the day, they probably won't find me till the day after meaning for a whole day my mom will be stressing heavily, not knowing what's happened to me but assuming the worst. . I just don't want her to worry for a whole day or so knowing something bad happened to me then find out i've killed myself. On the other hand, dying at home she would come home and find me dead in my bed. She would be the one to find the body in the only house we've had which she put a lot of work into. I'm scared it's worse since I'm traumatizing her with my dead body and also she might have to relocate since maybe she won't be able to live her anymore. Relocating would be super difficult for her. I don't know which one is best? I'd like to hear about yalls opinion/ personal preferences please
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