Suicidal thoughts coming again

[Canon1]

Hi!

I am back to suicide. Had a phase in which i could forget about my gf but it has been 2 days now since my depression is back and all bad feelings about my gf as well. Moreover i have some difficulties in my job and when i wanted to ctb for the first time like 6 months ago, I wanted it to have some kind of revenge against my gf but right now it's because i am deeply suffering because of the whole situation including my job.
Thinking of hanging to end my life. Can't live anymore like this. I feel like something deep in my heart or soul has been cut off or taken away from me. This is the pain I want to get rid of.

 

[Wheelz1985]

You're far from alone, millions of people are out of work right now. But man, don't off yourself because of someone else.
It's not the end of the road, at least you had a gf.
I haven't had one in 9 years.
I've done the whole revenge against an ex. And I regret it to this day.
Real revenge is moving on and showing her you're unaffected.
Fuck her man. You were able to get a girl, you can get another.
You shouldn't love anyone more than you love yourself.
In this life all we will ever truly have is ourselves.
Also, I get the irony in saying "you gotta look out for number one" on a pro-suicide website. If we all cared about ourselves, we wouldn't be on this site.
I definitely hate me
Maybe this fucking hellish life is a test and our strength to endure all the pain..will be acknowledge by someone somewhere.
I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.
gonna leave you with this awesome quote..






You have power over your mind not outside event's, realize this, and you will find strength. -Marcus Aurelius

 

[Canon1]

Thank you! I even found a new one and we connected to each other but she said that she needs time and i don't know what to think about it.

Right now i feel the pressure from 3 sides. First my ex gf, then the new one that isn't obviously sure about her and me and now my difficulties that I have in my job. It feels right now like too much that I can bear and I am deeply sad.

I wonder how close i am to suicide. I don't see any solution anymore. It feels all so sad and wrong.

 

[qwerty32]

I could understand the situation with your ex. I'm currently in that situation. Revenge on your ex, as @Wheelz1985 said is not worth it. I've had thoughts of anger against my ex and tried to stalk their social media but the blocked me. In my opinion, it's good they blocked me and cut off contact.
Best revenge is trying to be better for yourself.
Hope your job expectations are good for you.

 

[Canon1]

Job expectations are good. I am a teacher in school and basically love my job but this thing with my ex hits me hard. Especially when i have heard that she has a new boyfriend and is happy with him. I fell like having lost everything and since then I am just isolated at home.

I have ordered the SN right now.