"Suicidal people don't really want to die, they just want a better life"

[maidens]

whether it is or isn't, i'd like to hear your reasoning if you're comfortable with sharing.

for me, i guess it is. if i wasn't undoubtedly cursed and finally got even a little bit of the popularity and attention i've craved my entire life but have never gotten even a sliver of, if i was talented in what i want to do, and if it stayed like that, i might want to live.

 

[Maggiemags]

Idk part of me thinks "if I had my life" another part feels like every part of existence is either painful or exhausting

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Nah, I just want death. Even if my life were better (and it's not even that bad to begin with) I'd still be planning on ctbing. Statements like these are just dumb generalizations.

 

[juneberry1234]

For me, most of my life I was happy. I never had the thought of ctb or even considered having depression. I had a traumatic life event that slowly ate away at my happiness where today I don't remember the last time I was truly happy even for a split second. With me, I wish my life hadn't changed, then I would be happy. I don't wish to be a different person, but to be the person I was before.

 

[turbomightbegone]

im generally scared of death and pain. but i also can't stand the thought of existing for too long. it's too depressing.

perhaps if my life didn't get so fucked up as a child i wouldn't have the need to have these types of views. a better life does sound desirable but at the end of the day i would probably still be fucked regardless.

so honestly, does it even matter if i want a better life? I feel as though I'd destroy myself either way.

 

[whiteboyswithars]

Honestly most if not the entirety of it isn't about wanting a better life, most of it IS actually about wanting death. I want the eternal peace that comes with it. I am not a religious man, I don't believe in a heaven or hell. Either way, the afterlife provides promise for me; either eternal peace, or a brand new start. Win win, don't you think?

 

[UKscotty]

I don't think a better life will fix the problem for most.

There are plenty of rich and powerful who CTB.

Depression doesn't care about your bank balance

However people frame it up, suicidal thoughts are caused by depression, not life circumstances. Yes, life situation can of course make depression worse, or make treatment difficult, but just a life style change is unlikely to work.

 

[BardBarrie]

In my own experience it's more a case of "not wanting to live" rather than "wanting to die".

Wanting to be dead is also not the same as wanting to die, nobody "wants to die" as the process is traumatic.

 

[Unknown21]

They want to escape the pain\ suffering*

 

[DeathKitty]

My life isn't inherently bad, some things could be improved on but realistically I have a good life. I just don't want to exist. The thought of existence makes my skin crawl. Dunno if that makes sense or not lol but yep.

 

[thebelljarrr]

No it's absurd for me to stay when I don't feel or find shit here in such a world, even if I was the happiest I'm alr attached to death n those who left

 

[vitbar]

It's true for me. It's not life itself, but the bad parts of mine.

Still it could be that I'd still get depressed periods regardless. Impossible to predict.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I would absolutely want to live life to the fullest if I didn't have horrible health conditions. I also have some tricky mental health stuff interwoven with it, and the combination is a lot to handle. But if all I had to juggle was for example my mindset and my finances, I'd absolutely make a go of it. So I don't want to die and don't revel in that possibility at all.

 

[brokeandbroken]

whether it is or isn't, i'd like to hear your reasoning if you're comfortable with sharing.

for me, i guess it is. if i wasn't undoubtedly cursed and finally got even a little bit of the popularity and attention i've craved my entire life but have never gotten even a sliver of, if i was talented in what i want to do, and if it stayed like that, i might want to live.

I don't want popularity, notoriety, any of that. I've posted my story a multiple times bordering on too many but I'll say it again as it was requested (to everyone)... I was in medical school (after completing a bachelor's) oversea's at an international English speaking 'university" in Poland (I am American). While there I was the victim of multiple crimes by the "university" including being illegally forced out. While in college I was part of the oncology research group, president the last year, co-authored and presented at conference original work... I wanted and was working to become an oncologist. To take away people's pain. I Basically worked my ass off in life. I had a job in college while studying. Worked after college before medical school (medical scribe predominately in oncology). I also worked my ass off in medical school (no job but we had summer courses as part of the curriculum and it wasn't legal for me to have a job in Poland).... My job in the states I worked 20-25 hours per week but was essentially on call or working every day except for 3 days per month. Meaning I constantly worked and it was room/board. I say all of this to say this... My parents are fairly well off. They could help if they wanted. Instead them and my entire family (I really don't have friends as I was always studying) didn't help or really even care what happened. Meaning everything I ever worked for was gone in an instant (some minor hope as of two months ago in that the prosecutor's office is looking to help me...). Hell after a few months at home (actually when I went to the hospital because I was suicidal) I was kicked out and homeless. Sure I am adult but I am relatively vulnerable as I have like 200k in debt. I could understand if I was the victim of a crime after being in and out of prison or whatever. Spent my life on crack. I have never even had speeding ticket hell a parking ticket. In essence I want justice for what happened the crimes/being illegally forced out. Now I stay at a board and lodge essentially homeless. The lodge is disgusting. My life fucking sucks. So yeah I want my life to be better.

 

[Wolf Girl]

Yes, I would love to have a life worth living. It takes very little to make me happy. Unfortunately, I am deprived of even that very little I need. So, ctb it is.

 

[fleetingnight]

Mostly yes, but the answer can vary for me.

 

[BlazingBob]

No, I just want to not exist, period. I don't like humanity and the whole setup.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I just find that kind of thing leads to magical thinking. As in- everything would be ok if I won the lottery, if I didn't have debilitating health issues, if I had been born into this or that body, this or that life, if the world was a nicer place.

It's like- sure- if we lived in sandbox mode. If everything was possible- then maybe people would feel less inclined to want out. (They may still eventually though.) It's the simple fact that change can be difficult- sometimes near impossible to effect in life- that I imagine most of us are here. Change requires effort most of the time and we can still fail in obtaining our goals. I just think this kind of thinking ignores all that. It's like- just 'get' a better life for yourself. Really? It's that easy? There's a shop I can exchange this life for a better one is there?!!

The other one is- 'Suicidal people don't really want to die. They simply want the pain to stop.' Well- duh! Of course people want the pain to stop but again- it's not as simple as an off switch! I reckon people turn to suicide when most other things have already failed. I doubt suicide is the first thing everyone leaps to when things start to unravel in life.

I just think it's about realism. Can I realistically get the kind of life I want given current world circumstances? If the answer is 'maybe' but it will require vast amounts of effort. (Seems likely.) Then, it's a matter of- do I have the strength and staying power for all that?

Again though- it's a matter of perspective. What one person might feel content with 'settling' for may not be enough for someone else. That again will vary from person to person but really- why should anyone be forced to accept a life they personally find intolerable?

It's like I feel there are these unwritten laws in society: You have to at least try to create a life you find tolerable- you musn't give up. If that doesn't work, then you'll have to learn to settle because- that's what so many other people are doing. People worse off than you- be grateful you're not them at least. You can't kill yourself. I feel like the majority of the population just accepts that as their default mode.

 

[Ash]

Even today, after even more crap last week and then PTSD triggers at the weekend, if I could put certain pieces of the jigsaw in place, I'd seize what years I've got left with both hands and make the most of every minute. It's their absence that makes everything so difficult (for me). But we're all different. There is no one answer for everyone. People on and off this site need to get to grips with understanding and accepting that.

 

[kyhoti]

No matter where I go, what I have etc., my main problem is always there: me. I'm the problem, and if I can't fix me, that's that. I'm trying to live differently, trying to act my way to right thinking. The sad fact is, I know I need to be gone. If I could push a button and erase every trace of myself, I would, but that is the type of magical thinking mentioned earlier. I've lived some, and it was tolerable, but that phase is done & the time is near. I'm just trying to figure out the best way to skip on out of here.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

It isn't true for me at all. Sure, I'll admit that I'll want to live longer if I had a better life though, by a better life, it would have to be where I'm a neet forever and I have as little responsibilities as possible whilst being able to afford things for entertainment. However, even if I were to live a life like that where I don't have to wage slave and still afford a lot of things, I'd still want to be dead soon enough due to old age. So, either way, I would still want to be dead but a better life (assuming it's the type of life which I already described here) would just make me want to ctb later in life.

Wanting to be dead is also not the same as wanting to die, nobody "wants to die" as the process is traumatic.

I know my username is ironic when tackling this statement (albeit I kinda made my username in a rush) but I just want to say that I'm so relieved that somebody actually acknowledges this difference!! It's rare to see people on this site acknowledge the difference between dying and death

 

[kunikuzushi]

No I find life so tragic and meaningless because everything we do just disappears when we die. So if my life was better I would be even more miserable that I have to lose it all. So I would end up being in the same mindset I'm in now.

 

[unusally alive]

I feel like the question is inherently flawed, since if you had said better life you wouldn't end up in this situation in the first place.

 

[sombie]

If you lost hope and have no ambition it doesn't matter what good things you have in life because you still want to escape life itself.

 

[donwhitman]

If there was a choice of a trillion dollars or going to bed tonight and never waking up, I would choose the latter.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Not true for me I don't want a better life I want no life for me

I want to die

I don't want to live under any circumstances

There is nothing I want from this evil world or evil life

 

[Dark Window]

For most people yes I think most people who want to CTB are simply trying to escape pain.

If they had a happy life they'd not want to die.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wouldn't wish for existence under any circumstances personally, having the ability to exist is the most futile and torturous burden to me. What I ultimately have a problem with is existence itself and I see it as so incredibly undesirable to be conscious and aware enslaved in this meaningless existence.

All that I wish for is the peace that only eternal nothingness can bring, I simply wish to be unaware for all eternity and more than anything I wish I never existed at all, I find it deeply repulsive and tragic how humans so harmfully impose existence in the first place. I'd always prefer to not exist than to suffer for decades just to die in agony from old age which is all that humans are destined for, to me suicide is all that feels rational to escape from pointless pain and torment.

It terrifies me how a human can potentially exist for so long and it disturbs me how one can suffer so unbearably and immensely yet not die. I don't want to suffer in any way and in existence there is endless potential to suffer and feel pain, it's truly horrific, existence really is the most hellish abomination that I'd see as best avoided no matter what.

 

[Abyssal]

I want a better brain that doesn't hurt me

 

[ohyouknow]

I'm sure I'd have to deal with depression no matter what, but a better life might make dealing with depression worth the effort. Compare it to going to a job you don't enjoy (depression) and for which you receive no paycheck (positive life circumstances). If I received compensation for the effort it takes to live, I might be more motivated to keep showing up.