Suicidal people do reach out for help but nobody wants to listen nor help

[FireFox]

I hate how suicide prevention campaign say "reach out", "talk to someone" etc. Suicidal people do reach out but nobody wants to listen nor cares enough.

Before I found this site I DID reach out to people around me but nobody took me seriously whenever I expressed my anxieties about the future or anything that caused me pure upset

● Older people in authority said I was " too young to feel this way" and "have my whole life ahead of me"

● When I told my university friends in my law class I was suicidal they eventaully stopped talking to me and distanced themselves from me at university. One of them even judgemental as hell. She is a Christian.

● My family household no matter how bad a situation believe in the bullshit pharse "everyone happens for a reason" and tell me how I should "leave it in prayer". They never took anything I said seriously. At times even gave me a hard time for having my depressive episodes and accused me of making life difficult for them. They treated me like an inconvenience and burden.

● My relatives just gossip even my most favourite relative turned out to he the biggest gossippers and humiliated me to the entire family over my insecurities. Growing up I had to learn I have no relatives to support me if I ever faced a crisis.

Far too many times people kept letting me down whenever I reached out. Some people did care in my life but nobody cared enough. Nobody wanted listen and only to impose their morally and world view on me. This is why people don't reach out. People need to start listening to their depressed loved and STOP judging

 

[InaudibleEcho]

I BEGGED my mom to let me go to therapy for years but It wasn't until I ended up in the psyche ward and I think I was required to go to therapy. And even that was for a few months before being pulled away for it being too "expensive" (even though my dad and his mom/my grandma said they're more than willing to help pay).

 

[Ico]

I can only speak for myself, but it feels utterly pointless to openly discuss suicidal ideation to anyone. As someone who was institutionalized following an almost successful attempt at age 16, I would do anything to prevent that (the hospitalization) from happening again. Being locked away with dangerous people until you can lie your way out is objectively horrible.

Every once in a while, I'll slip up around my wife and say something about how I am honestly feeling. The response is invariably something like, "Do I need to bring you to the ER? Call the authorities?". It's enough to snap me back to the reality that no one is there to help or listen. They will lock you away the moment they feel they're liable.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I hate how suicide prevention campaign say "reach out", "talk to someone" etc. Suicidal people do reach out but nobody wants to listen nor cares enough.

Before I found this site I DID reach out to people around me but nobody took me seriously whenever I expressed my anxieties about the future or anything that caused me pure upset

● Older people in authority said I was " too young to feel this way" and "have my whole life ahead of me"

● When I told my university friends in my law class I was suicidal they eventaully stopped talking to me and distanced themselves from me at university. One of them even judgemental as hell. She is a Christian.

● My family household no matter how bad a situation believe in the bullshit pharse "everyone happens for a reason" and tell me how I should "leave it in prayer". They never took anything I said seriously. At times even gave me a hard time for having my depressive episodes and accused me of making life difficult for them. They treated me like an inconvenience and burden.

● My relatives just gossip even my most favourite relative turned out to he the biggest gossippers and humiliated me to the entire family over my insecurities. Growing up I had to learn I have no relatives to support me if I ever faced a crisis.

Far too many times people kept letting me down whenever I reached out. Some people did care in my life but nobody cared enough. Nobody wanted listen and only to impose their morally and world view on me. This is why people don't reach out. People need to start listening to their depressed loved and STOP judging

Yes, the vast majority of so-called normal people have an allergic reaction to suicidal people.
It's like we are some kind of plague carriers who they desperately avoid interacting with on a deep level at all costs.
I honestly don't believe that anyone truly cares about people like us, especially the religious and pro-lifer types who actually do more harm than good.
Yet, I feel the worst offenders are the people who are supposed to love and care for us like family and friends.
We are all truly alone in this world.

 

[Slasher]

I personally see no reason to speak to people about my ideation cause nobody really cares about you and everyone is too stuck up with themselves that they'll only do everything in their power to ''save'' you just so they can feel like the hero e.g: call the authorities and plus what are they going to do if i tell them about my ideation? I get how talking to someone can help but i doubt that the problems i've had for more than half my life will dissapear when i talk to someone. PM's are open if you need to message someone, take care<33

 

[90starve]

i've come to the conclusion that nobody wants to know, nor do they need to know. when i tried to open up to my now ex boyfriend, he had the balls to call me crazy - the conversation turned into an argument, and we broke up.

in most cases, people with mental health disorders are seen as nothing but a burden. "stop bringing others down with you" is something i've heard too often.

 

[Forever Sleep]

'You have your whole life ahead of you'. Kind of ironic really- that phrase used to feel me with dread- not inspiration! Like- yeah- can't you see? That's the main problem!! I want my whole life to be behind me...

I'm sorry though. I can't say I have really reached out to family. I'm not entirely sure of the response I'd get but I do know that they can't do anything- so- in my case, it seems better not to tell them. It's so sad though that families don't take one another seriously- yet- they'll still act shocked when a person CTB.

 

[S u i c i d e]

I give so many signs but they all ignore them.

 

[SexyIncél]

I think we're in an embarrassing time in history. Most only seem to team up vaguely decently in corporate workplaces. Then, they Care™ about helping others — to the extent social managers program them

I guess families are supposed to care too. But they're too much of a dice roll. Few are trained to do it well. (At least the wageslavers have quality managerial lit here & there.) One day, you go look for cofounders... and discover this bizarre institution called a dating market

I get why people turn to religions that postulate an imagined metahuman who's utterly loyal to you

 

[endless_worry]

Unfortunately, for me (in the US), this has been my experience with a lot of the mental health treatment I have received also. I was first hospitalized at 18 after a drunken night that turned into a fight with my boyfriend. The alcohol exacerbated my mental state which sent me to the hospital, but the psych doctor didn't see it that way. She just saw me as a drunken loser. She said to me specifically'let's get you out of here so we can deal with the real crazies'.

The next few years were seeing primary care doctors that had no idea about mental illness putting me on and off medications that didn't work until I had my next suicide attempt at 24. Then I was at another hospital for 5 days, saw 1 doctor, they put me on 1 medication, assumed I was fine and sent me home.

The next year I went to a gyno and told them I was pretty sure I had PMDD. They didn't even do an assessment, just told me I was too young to discuss the thought of having my ovaries removed and preventing myself from having children (even though I was severely mentally ill) and refused to see me again.

My last hospitalization was last year. It was voluntary and I was in for 7 days. I left because I didn't even see a doctor during that time. It was a complete waste of time.

I have a diagnosis, but I'm 40 now and still don't feel like I'm properly diagnosed. I have only had one doctor ever sit down and spend the time to actually go over individual symptoms with me. Most doctors are just trying to get me in and out of their office as quickly as possible and act like I'm a nuisance to them and that makes me nervous to go and not want to be there, so it's hard to talk about what is actually going on.

 

[TAW122]

Very true, and while I have never really openly admitted to suicidal ideation (for obvious reasons), I definitely see others' cases either IRL, the news, or just around the Internet in general and it is quite appalling and disgusting how they are treated. It boils down to just 'virtue signaling' basically actions that make pro-lifers feel good about themselves while having not done anything of value to actually help the person (since it takes actual 'effort' or doesn't have a solution).

 

[FireFox]

I can only speak for myself, but it feels utterly pointless to openly discuss suicidal ideation to anyone. As someone who was institutionalized following an almost successful attempt at age 16, I would do anything to prevent that (the hospitalization) from happening again. Being locked away with dangerous people until you can lie your way out is objectively horrible.

Every once in a while, I'll slip up around my wife and say something about how I am honestly feeling. The response is invariably something like, "Do I need to bring you to the ER? Call the authorities?". It's enough to snap me back to the reality that no one is there to help or listen. They will lock you away the moment they feel they're liable.

@Ico I am actually not worried about being institutionalised because in my country the UK it is a very difficult to get sectioned in a mental hospital.In the UK 1 suicide attempt will not get you committed in a facility.

Under UK laws To get committed in a facility 3 professionals which are a person's doctor, a psychiatrist and some other professional ie social worker or someone qualified in mental health all have to agree that being sectioned is necessary. They look at the evidence of whether you are a danger to yourself or the general public. If a person is a serious danger to the general public ie a schizophrenic having violent episodes they are more likely to get sectioned.

The NHS because of lack of hospital beds have to make sure that sectioning is a necessary measure that will ensure that the individual is getting the treatment they need and rescources are not being wasted. The NHS due to government cuts over the years the number of services it offers the public is limited and strained.

Doctors in Britain only section as a last resort and its a decision not made lightly.

I know how mental health laws work in the UK so I will know how to exploit the loopholes to avoid sectioning.

I give so many signs but they all ignore them.

@S u i c i d e These are the same people who get surprised when an individual successfully commits suicide. Its like no cares until the person actually dies its so not fair. It should not have to take an individual dying for the world to see their pain.

We live in a truly self centred society. I believe if we had a better world that showed compassion and actually cared to help people suicide would be the exception not the norm.

I am so sorry you are going through this

Love

FireFox :)

 

[koalahymm]

When I have reached out for help all I got was "but life is a GIFT!" and "people will miss you!" rather than help with navigating past the pain. I know the phone number for suicide prevention but that seems to be all anyone throws out. Then they can go back to their own lives and tell themselves that they tried to help. Actually listening to other people and genuinely trying to help is beyond most people including the mental health field.

 

[FireFox]

Yes, the vast majority of so-called normal people have an allergic reaction to suicidal people.
It's like we are some kind of plague carriers who they desperately avoid interacting with on a deep level at all costs.
I honestly don't believe that anyone truly cares about people like us, especially the religious and pro-lifer types who actually do more harm than good.
Yet, I feel the worst offenders are the people who are supposed to love and care for us like family and friends.
We are all truly alone in this world.

@The anhedonic one My family are the most judgemental people ever when it comes to suicide. They are quick to condemn people who kill themselves calling them "weak" and "Selfish" "evil" etc.

This year February my mother changed her tune when the suicde problem potentially came to her doorstep. When I got fired from my job and it was a vefy toxic workplace where things just kept going wrong all within a space of months. I got reputation as workplace trouble maker for my outspoken personality and not taking shit. I made a lot of mistakes in my job. My boss at times was so cruel towards me and even humiliated me.

I decided to write my family a letter explaining the events that led to my firing, my workplace mistakes struggles and the older male work colleague I fell deeply love and his betrayal. I was 25 at the time and he was 55 years old. In the letter I kept explaining how I really wanted things to work out for the best because I didn't want to be fired from my first ever serious job since graduating university and how I fought till the very end to stay in my job. I did say the plan is to look to the future and how i am applying for a masters degree as I found a course I liked. Afterwards I decided to spend all day in a museum and not a home. I was happy when I got fired.

When my mum saw my letter she thought I was going to kill myself. She was panicking i have never seen this side to her. I always used to my mother giving a hard time for everything. My mum was so petrified at the prospect of the chance of me killing myself.

writing a letter was more easier as it allowed me more control and my family interrupt too much if I was to explain verbally why I got fired. People say I was wrong to write a letter I stand by decision.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

To be fair, reaching won't solve the majority of issues that drive us here (gender dysphoria, chronic pain, birth defects etc) so there is only so much mental health services can do, even if they wanted.

Let me ask you this. What would you want or expect mental health services to do for you in order to help you avoid CTBing/being on this site? From what i can tell based on your threads, the reasons you want to CTB include (but are not limited to) being single and the fact that you feel like you havent accomplished much to society's standards.

Unfortunately, some people are too far gone to be saved no matter how early. I don't know if it is too late for you, though.

 

[NoHorizon]

Definitely agree with a lot said here. Every "mental health awareness" campaign pushes speaking out and most people try to encourage talking but when I do I'm just bombarded with how great my life is and my feelings are trivialised and invalidated. When I had a visit from the crisis team he told me my flat was so nice that I should give it to someone less fortunate if I couldn't be grateful.

 

[yyytry]

@The anhedonic one My family are the most judgemental people ever when it comes to suicide. They are quick to condemn people who kill themselves calling them "weak" and "Selfish" "evil" etc.

This year February my mother changed her tune when the suicde problem potentially came to her doorstep. When I got fired from my job and it was a vefy toxic workplace where things just kept going wrong all within a space of months. I got reputation as workplace trouble maker for my outspoken personality and not taking shit. I made a lot of mistakes in my job. My boss at times was so cruel towards me and even humiliated me.

I decided to write my family a letter explaining the events that led to my firing, my workplace mistakes struggles and the older male work colleague I fell deeply love and his betrayal. I was 25 at the time and he was 55 years old. In the letter I kept explaining how I really wanted things to work out for the best because I didn't want to be fired from my first ever serious job since graduating university and how I fought till the very end to stay in my job. I did say the plan is to look to the future and how i am applying for a masters degree as I found a course I liked. Afterwards I decided to spend all day in a museum and not a home. I was happy when I got fired.

When my mum saw my letter she thought I was going to kill myself. She was panicking i have never seen this side to her. I always used to my mother giving a hard time for everything. My mum was so petrified at the prospect of the chance of me killing myself.

writing a letter was more easier as it allowed me more control and my family interrupt too much if I was to explain verbally why I got fired. People say I was wrong to write a letter I stand by decision.

I'm glad your letter pierced thru.

When it comes to family or ppl who know how to hit your buttons, I think letter writing is one of the best things that can be done to get yourself heard.
Bc like u say, they will cut you off or talk over you, etc.

Some ppl don't give a fuck about honest communication. They shit on letters of vulnerability or standing up for yourself.

 

[daft]

I learnt that lesson early on when a psychologist who didn't even know what Social Anxiety Disorder was (so much for a trained professional) called my family and had me sent me to hospital for observation, after I told him about how anxious and depressed I was. How I couldn't feel like life was worth the candle.

It's great getting picked up by the abusive father who contributed to your depression in the first place, and being told over and over how much of an inconvenience it is to him and the rest of the family, before being stuck in a ward with some crazy guy who keeps soiling himself due to seizures.

That day I acted like the happiest guy ever, so that I could get sent home as soon as possible (it was quite effective, even with the hospital psychiatrists), and I've continued to keep a mask on ever since.

Our battle with existence is one we have to navigate on our own it seems, if society's methods are anything to go by.

 

[Ico]

@Ico I am actually not worried about being institutionalised because in my country the UK it is a very difficult to get sectioned in a mental hospital.In the UK 1 suicide attempt will not get you committed in a facility.

Under UK laws To get committed in a facility 3 professionals which are a person's doctor, a psychiatrist and some other professional ie social worker or someone qualified in mental health all have to agree that being sectioned is necessary. They look at the evidence of whether you are a danger to yourself or the general public. If a person is a serious danger to the general public ie a schizophrenic having violent episodes they are more likely to get sectioned.

The NHS because of lack of hospital beds have to make sure that sectioning is a necessary measure that will ensure that the individual is getting the treatment they need and rescources are not being wasted. The NHS due to government cuts over the years the number of services it offers the public is limited and strained.

Doctors in Britain only section as a last resort and its a decision not made lightly.

I wish that it was like this in the United States. Here, you can be institutionalized for 5 days for a Psychiatric Evaluation by virtually anyone who claims that you are a danger to yourself or others. The best part is that YOU are responsible for the resulting bill....not to mention the disruption to work (it's entirely possible to lose your employment, and any vestiges of employer-sponsored health insurance).

As an individual on the Autism Spectrum, it would be virtually impossible for me emerge from a 'wellness check' by Police (because that's how they're conducted here) with my freedom intact. It's not hyperbole to suggest that one call to 911 or 988 (by someone else) would be enough to land me in the mental hospital. The results of this would be catastrophic to my fiscal well being, not to mention the potential to lose my employment. In a Capitalist system, you either produce or die...but slowly, on someone else's terms.

It's never, EVER a good idea to 'reach out for help'...or even speak candidly to folks you trust.

 

[Jamesun]

I BEGGED my mom to let me go to therapy for years but It wasn't until I ended up in the psyche ward and I think I was required to go to therapy. And even that was for a few months before being pulled away for it being too "expensive" (even though my dad and his mom/my grandma said they're more than willing to help pay).

Friend, we are the same, I had to have an emotional breakdown in the middle of class for someone to understand a little and today my parents, family and friends don't care enough.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

"reach out" ... "talk to someone" that doesn't solve the personal problem why one wants to ctb and it's the same with stupid toxic-positive comments. A person I know very well once said to me sth like "You don't kill yourself! It's not that easy as you think!" HAHA as if I didn't know that already that it is so difficult to overcome SI ... very helpful! Such comments just make me wanting CTB even more.

Well even if I reached out to someone / help lines they cannot solve my personal issue that makes we want to ctb. So what for reaching out at all.

 

[MrDarkness]

I hate how suicide prevention campaign say "reach out", "talk to someone" etc. Suicidal people do reach out but nobody wants to listen nor cares enough.

Before I found this site I DID reach out to people around me but nobody took me seriously whenever I expressed my anxieties about the future or anything that caused me pure upset

● Older people in authority said I was " too young to feel this way" and "have my whole life ahead of me"

● When I told my university friends in my law class I was suicidal they eventaully stopped talking to me and distanced themselves from me at university. One of them even judgemental as hell. She is a Christian.

● My family household no matter how bad a situation believe in the bullshit pharse "everyone happens for a reason" and tell me how I should "leave it in prayer". They never took anything I said seriously. At times even gave me a hard time for having my depressive episodes and accused me of making life difficult for them. They treated me like an inconvenience and burden.

● My relatives just gossip even my most favourite relative turned out to he the biggest gossippers and humiliated me to the entire family over my insecurities. Growing up I had to learn I have no relatives to support me if I ever faced a crisis.

Far too many times people kept letting me down whenever I reached out. Some people did care in my life but nobody cared enough. Nobody wanted listen and only to impose their morally and world view on me. This is why people don't reach out. People need to start listening to their depressed loved and STOP judging

Older people are more conservative with their beliefs it's normal for all of them to say you have your whole life ahead of you. I'm sorry you haven't been able to reach out and find someone that listens, life can be truly shit can it?