Discussion Suicidal ideation/planning as a coping mechanism

[d2reason]

Isn't it pathetic to think about dying to cope with life?

I have debilitating anxiety and paranoia as well as occasional psychosis. My life isn't good at all, and mental anguish makes it difficult for me to do simple things like washing my clothes.

I've found thinking about and planning suicide has given me a peace, tranquility, and confidence I've never had before. I can look people in the eye and can accomplish chores.

But I keep wondering, "isn't it pathetic to think about dying to cope with life?"

If suicidal ideation improves my life, what is the point? If I regain hope for life, it's only temporary; I've been through these cycles countless times. Won't I actually need to die at some point?

Is anybody else like this?

 

[mortuarymary]

Suicidal ideation helps ,e. I think about it a lot. See it a lot at work but won't act on it.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

In death there's the final relief from all agony, suffering and pain someone may have to endure in their life time. By contemplating dying (when things get unbearable) the brain may give you confidence that if the suffering gets even more unbearable you can relief yourself. This can be quite relieving imo and is not pathetic in any case.

 

[d2reason]

In death there's the final relief from all agony, suffering and pain someone may have to endure in their life time. By contemplating dying (when things get unbearable) the brain may give you confidence that if the suffering gets even more unbearable you can relief yourself. This can be quite relieving imo and is not pathetic in any case.

Thank you. I'm glad I'm not the only one that is like this.

 

[violetskies]

it always feels like my default when things goes wrong (which is most of the time) is contemplating or planning ctb. it's like a comfort to know that no matter how bad things get i always have the choice to just let go.

 

[Abyssal]

Definitely has been a coping mechanism of mine from a young age. While in elementary school I got bullied a lot and at some point I recognized if the pain ever got too bad I could die. Had I not made that realization I wouldn't be here. Hell I probably wouldn't be suicidal, just depressed.

Is it a bad thing? Well that depends if you deem suicide as bad. I don't but one thing ho does would recognize how it enables me and deem it bad.

 

[_smile_]

I never realized I was like this until I read your post, so thank you for sharing.
I very much relate; my emotions control my life and there is absolute comfort in knowing suicide is always an option. The planning is calming and relieves my fears of continued life in agony. It's a vicious cycle. And I do believe at some point I will break the cycle. And the breakthrough will not be due to recovery.

Know you're not alone in how you're feeling

 

[drearysunrise]

I also feel like planning my suicide helps me cope; I think it's why I came here. With my anxiety I tend to catastrophize and fear situations where I won't have the ability to escape. Having the knowledge and means readily available helps me get through all of the little struggles in my day that feel so huge, because I know that I always have a way out. It gives me a sense of control. And accepting suicide as a viable option for myself also relieves some of the burden of blaming myself for having these thoughts in response to situations that might not seem challenging to other people. Maybe it isn't the healthiest way of coping, but whatever helps, helps. It's never pathetic to find a little bit of relief