Amaterasu

Amaterasu

When It Ends
Apr 7, 2023
1,151
Wish he told me that's what he was feeling,
Wish I hadn't of told him what I was feeling.


The only person I had, someone who meant so much to me, recently decided to without warning; cut contact.
Unbeknowst to me, the reasoning was due to "being very manipulative" for confiding in him with my suicidal ideation.
Apparently to get my own way?

???

Excuse me? What way did I get exactly?
Oh, was it when I got upset after I asked if you would go with me to the concert this Saturday, for you to say no and to then turn around and ask someone else?

I haven't even wanted to leave my bedroom let alone the house in 5 months.
Really got my way with that one.

Guess I'll be known as a manipulator until I CTB.
 
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unnormal9

unnormal9

SOLDIER T.
Apr 12, 2023
1,139
Anyone who dares even think suicide ideation is manipulative is a serpent coiled so tightly with the mummer's motley.
 
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unexplainedExplorer

unexplainedExplorer

your local nursery mobile
May 2, 2023
34
dear god. i can't imagine what its like to be labeled as a "manipulator" for just.. wanting a way out. that is terrible.
 
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M

melodrama

Member
May 7, 2022
47
I'm sorry you had to go through that... I've also been called manipulative by a person close to me, simply for having vented about my desire to ctb. The person apologized afterwards but... It was very painful to hear. These words pop into my head every now and then.
 
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AresCohere

AresCohere

Professional Insomniac
Apr 10, 2023
158
I feel this exact way with the few people (almost entirely online) that I've told my issues to. I have gone to the point where I have faked a "recovery" just so they stop feeling so bad for me 24/7. It's clear how subconsciously manipulative I've been to everyone.

Agh, so is life ig.
 
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sulli

sulli

Student
Jan 25, 2023
197
this whole idea that i'm suicidal to manipulate people is pretty much what lost me everyone i've loved in my life. i haven't spent two decades suicidal for fun, if i could stop i gladly would so i don't lose the few people i have left but it's not a choice i get to make, no one seems to understand that

edit: love your username and icon btw haha i just noticed
 
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msocks

msocks

Member
Apr 26, 2023
46
Threatening to CTB if they do/don't do XYZ is a hell of a lot different than just talking about ideation. It's not manipulative at all. It's really hard to be honest about these things in the first place. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. 💜
 
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