Suicidal and weight

[AlTheObviousAlien]

I am curious to know about people's relationship to food and suicidal thoughts.

Tw- Ed triggering potentially!!!

I know for me I can say that the more depressed I am, the less I weigh. While this time, it is on purpose. Every other time I literally just wasn't hungry. Food smelled weird and made me full and sometimes nauseous. Yes, the smell alone gave me a sense of fullness. Sometimes even when I'm not depressed smelling food just makes me not wanna eat. I feel like my food can't smell a certain way, but I don't know what that is.
Besides the act of eat is a chore. Like the act of putting it in your and mouth chewing and chewing and chewing. And repeat. I can't do without actively doing something else. Gosh, but thats where weed comes in because I'm a foodie. Ngl. I be eating and I wanna eat everything. Half of my videos on YouTube are foodtok... Or japanese foodtok itkyk I love making food. I wanted to be a chef at one point. Highly considered it for my major in highschool. It was literally my second choice. I love food, but the thing is, if I'm not high I'm taking two bites and I'm full. Trust me. You'll see me eat, but I'm forcing every next bite.



Tw done
If you want you can just vote or vote and tell your story. I'm curious. You're worth understanding.

 

[ForestGhost]

Definitely lose weight as well. When I'm at my worst, my body is just zapped of all desire to do anything... including to eat.

 

[Anonymousa]

Now a days it can fluctuate but only slightly. When I am more depressed I can want to eat slightly more and use food as a way of coping but other times or if I am feeling more guilty I eat slightly less as I just don't have the desire to eat or as a way of punishing myself.

 

[NonEssential]

I'm not sure. Could be losing due to lack of interest in eating a lot, but also gaining from all the alcohol lol.

 

[pauly369]

If my anxiety is really high , I rarely eat.
Yet if my depression is at a peak I eat more than normal.

 

[~GeminiVII~]

i dont really eat but then bed rotting isn't exactly healthy. i guess it just fluctuates.

 

[JesiBel]

Stay the same.. I am strict with my weight and food.

As long as I live I will try to look 'good', because my corpse will be horrible.

 

[grapevoid]

I often forget to eat when my mental health declines so I generally lose weight rapidly when my depression worsens.

 

[StrugglingSienna]

I am always either starving myself or gorging myself, but it's not really intentional. I'm always depressed and suicidal, so that's probably why.

 

[ForeverCaHa]

Lose weight, no question. I'm already quite a slim guy, but when major depression hits (aka right now) I don't eat. It's not that I forget or don't want to, I just don't have the energy to put my slop into a bowl. I also don't want to have to go downstairs, be around family, have to make small talk about my recovery. I'd rather just stay in my room until everyone's asleep and then grab whatever I can eat right from the packet. Which sucks because I actually love food, it was one of the best things in life. I guess the memory of great and strange foods I've tried on my travels will suffice.

 

[AlTheObviousAlien]

Still curious boosting

 

[sweetcreep]

i fluctuate. i usually tend to binge to cope with feelings and when i'm suicidal, i feel like it doesn't matter if i try to be healthy or if i get fat. what's the point in all that if i'm planning to die? but then there are those days where i can't get out of bed and can't be bothered to make food. if i can't eat it straight out the fridge, then im not eating that day. worse part is when people comment stuff like "oh wow you lost weight, you look good!" thanks, it's because i was depressed and starving myself.

 

[Big_Eal]

I am curious to know about people's relationship to food and suicidal thoughts.

Tw- Ed triggering potentially!!!

I know for me I can say that the more depressed I am, the less I weigh. While this time, it is on purpose. Every other time I literally just wasn't hungry. Food smelled weird and made me full and sometimes nauseous. Yes, the smell alone gave me a sense of fullness. Sometimes even when I'm not depressed smelling food just makes me not wanna eat. I feel like my food can't smell a certain way, but I don't know what that is.
Besides the act of eat is a chore. Like the act of putting it in your and mouth chewing and chewing and chewing. And repeat. I can't do without actively doing something else. Gosh, but thats where weed comes in because I'm a foodie. Ngl. I be eating and I wanna eat everything. Half of my videos on YouTube are foodtok... Or japanese foodtok itkyk I love making food. I wanted to be a chef at one point. Highly considered it for my major in highschool. It was literally my second choice. I love food, but the thing is, if I'm not high I'm taking two bites and I'm full. Trust me. You'll see me eat, but I'm forcing every next bite.



Tw done
If you want you can just vote or vote and tell your story. I'm curious. You're worth understanding.

i gain weight and lost all my muscular mass cause i don't do anything ,i barely walk or go out from home , ive been like this for more than one year , idc about my body and health , waiting for SN to arrive

 

[FishRain3469]

It really fluctuates for me as well.... Either I can eat the Entire kitchen up and down( with weed or Xanax! Usually..Lol. -) or.. I just won't eat, and rely on the beer / liquor for the remainder.