CuriosityAndCat
Nothing is true. Everything is permitted.
- Nov 2, 2023
- 309
I've been doing fantastic past few months. Not feeling suicidal at all and def not feeling like I wanted to die. I've been having freeze response past few days. I hit collapse for past couple hours. I'm suddenly thinking how worthless I am since freeze makes it a struggle just to take shower and put clothes on. I can't perform my other responsibilities reliably. I feel like deserve to die because it's not better and maybe never will go away. Years of therapy, medications, exercise, meditation haven't stopped freeze and anxiety. Thngs have gotten fixed and gotten better, but freeze has always been the biggest problem.
I'm experiencing classic collapse. I know it's not logical or even reasonable, but I just don't care anymore and just wantto be done one way or another. I'm thinking about picking up a nitrogen cylinder, hooking it up to my dive regulator, and dying. I havent done anything all day, but I'm just too tired and sleepy to get up to go buy a tank. I'm not thinking right atm b/c I haven't had these thoughts before a few hrs ago.
I'm experiencing classic collapse. I know it's not logical or even reasonable, but I just don't care anymore and just wantto be done one way or another. I'm thinking about picking up a nitrogen cylinder, hooking it up to my dive regulator, and dying. I havent done anything all day, but I'm just too tired and sleepy to get up to go buy a tank. I'm not thinking right atm b/c I haven't had these thoughts before a few hrs ago.
