Venting Such a loser

[Caspers]

Does anyone feel completely unwanted, like you're an outcast. I never belong anywhere, I am always second best, people are lying when they tell me nice things.

 

[sadworld]

Yeah, i feel the same, knowing i don't belong here because im completly different. Literally being bad at anything, i need help with everything, im such a burden to everyone. You are definitely not alone

 

[_Kaira_]

Only every day. I'm kind of a burden on others (NEET). With that being said, I tend to push others way just from my unintentional toxic tendencies (BPD). So I don't blame others for not really wanting me around, I shouldn't expect them to either.

 

[ocd is bad]

I'm very unwanted too and never fit in or made friends in real life. I wouldn't want to be friends with me either though so I guess I can't blame anyone.

 

[Sherri]

Yes, this is the only place I feel accepted. I have friends and all, but their trivial conversations bore me like hell.

 

[Lupgevif]

If I say I don't feel validated by my friends I'd be lying. But I do wish I was more. I am often ignored by them; I understand they have their own lifes and other friends on their own, and I am not entitled to their attention, but it just feels they ignore around 80% of what I send them, and whilst they send less thing to me, I tend to always respond somehow. And my parents just despise me at this point.

 

[please_kill_me]

Does anyone feel completely unwanted, like you're an outcast. I never belong anywhere, I am always second best, people are lying when they tell me nice things.

Why do u say that they are lying? I feel the same...I feel like they lie to me too...some people I really know that are lying but usually they aren't lying I just think they are cause I'm not used to receive complements and cause I prefer to feel bad that happy. I'm afraid of being really happy. The thing is that I have a voice in my had...I mean more than one that say to me that they are lying even knowing that the voices are just hallucinations I still hear them sometimes. Its difficult not to. But deep down I know that they are not lying cause someone will always like u I can't understand why but they do. They have their reason.

 

[GravityUtilizer]

Big time loser over here.

 

[Caspers]

Why do u say that they are lying? I feel the same...I feel like they lie to me too...some people I really know that are lying but usually they aren't lying I just think they are cause I'm not used to receive complements and cause I prefer to feel bad that happy. I'm afraid of being really happy. The thing is that I have a voice in my had...I mean more than one that say to me that they are lying even knowing that the voices are just hallucinations I still hear them sometimes. Its difficult not to. But deep down I know that they are not lying cause someone will always like u I can't understand why but they do. They have their reason.

Well there's no proof that they're lying, but I don't believe when people say nice things to me. I don't deserve it anyway. Sometimes if I'm feeling good I might accept that maybe they're telling the truth, but I'm rarely feeling like that. I am aware I have very low self esteem and that's probably a large contributing factor.

 

[please_kill_me]

Well there's no proof that they're lying, but I don't believe when people say nice things to me. I don't deserve it anyway. Sometimes if I'm feeling good I might accept that maybe they're telling the truth, but I'm rarely feeling like that. I am aware I have very low self esteem and that's probably a large contributing factor.

Well I've low self esteem too...but I've been doing some things lately like arguing with myself. Like:"why do u thing they're lying", "well I dont deserve it", "why?", "I do bad things to others...", "like what?", "aaaaaa i ...I bother people to much", "but that's not a bad thing and even if it was it's that true? Did someone said that to ur face" and stuff like that until I realize that there is nothing wrong with me and and I feel ok until I have another crisis that should be around 12 hours or something

 

[_Kaira_]

Well I've low self esteem too...but I've been doing some things lately like arguing with myself. Like:"why do u thing they're lying", "well I dont deserve it", "why?", "I do bad things to others...", "like what?", "aaaaaa i ...I bother people to much", "but that's not a bad thing and even if it was it's that true? Did someone said that to ur face" and stuff like that until I realize that there is nothing wrong with me and and I feel ok until I have another crisis that should be around 12 hours or something

Some days I believe people when they say nice things. But I've been told that they walk on eggshells cause they fear me. Really makes me question their true feelings when they aren't the most open about things. Includes bad arguments that generally lead to being told that no one really wants me here. Heh, c'est la vie.

 

[SipSop]

Does anyone feel completely unwanted, like you're an outcast. I never belong anywhere, I am always second best, people are lying when they tell me nice things.

Don't forget about profiting from your kindness and then pretending like nothing happened.

 

[Deleted member 94]

World's number one loser here I know how it used to feel, I've become one with it so now it doesn't bother me anymore.

 

[whywere]

100% know that I am a total loser. My "parents" called me "the mistake" till they kicked me out at 18. Started a new position, and I was called the substitute. So ya, even at 64 years young a loser.

 

[lostangel]

Sadly it has always been like that. I don't know why but some people will just be lonely. I never understood why until I got older.

 

[Mr.Nobody]

Been a loser for a long time.I will lose once and for all when I CTB.

 

[Deleted member 20852]

I feel the same

 

[Good4Nothing]

Me.

 

[Belaya Noch]

I can relate strongly, I'm a highly socially incompatible person, like Dostoyevsky's Notes from underground main character.

 

[Stick]

I feel like people mean it when they say nice things about me/ to me, but only because they don't know the real me. "I" fit in, but I don't.

 

[Xocoyotziin]

Only every day. I'm kind of a burden on others (NEET). With that being said, I tend to push others way just from my unintentional toxic tendencies (BPD). So I don't blame others for not really wanting me around, I shouldn't expect them to either.

Same. Being borderline is a fucking nightmare for me and everyone around me. It just grinds all of my other positive qualities, which are already few and far between, into the fucking dust because there's this part of myself that I can't even fucking control, that I barely understand, and that no amount of cognitive exercise can restrain or destroy when it comes out.

I've learned to take compliments and things that I usually distrust at face value though. I still know they only say those things because they don't really know me, but I'm at a point where it's enough.

 

[Neowise]

Absolutely. I'm this kind of person that has to walk behind their friends when the path is not wide enough. This kind of person that must not persist if someone else interrputed mid-sentence to speak. That kind of person no one waits for and that kind of person that has to give up on their own wishes to please others.
People always say "everyone is worth the same", but I don't think so. Society surely has it's hierarchies, even within small structures like families or other groups. I'm that kind of person that is at the bottom end of that hierarchy. But I suppose it is my fault for being such an idiot, I wasn't born "hated" after all.

This thread is reminding me of the song "Despicable" by Grandson. I can identify with the lyrics in which the singer explains his girlfriend why he left her and he keeps repeating:
"I'm doing you a favour.
Despicable
I'm just a bottom feeder
Despicable
I ain't never been a keeper
Despicable
Love her then I leave her
And if I were you, I wouldn't love me neither"

Especially the last line hits me.

 

[bluejane]

Me too. I want human connection so badly, I want someone to need me the way I need them. I used to have friends, but they won't talk to me anymore and I'm not sure why. I've always been "popular" but I reach out to so many people now and its as if I've gotten a disease. Nobody calls me back or answers or even admits to not wanting me, they say they're busy and go on seeing other people as if Im invisible. Reach out to me if you need anything, I understand how you feel.

 

[Heart Shards]

You're not alone; a lot of boats are sinking from the holes of disappointment and being a burden. But we love you.