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skittles!

skittles!

peace & love
Jul 9, 2023
10
Hey all. I just wanted to make this post because I'm unsure of the implications of how I'm dealing with my ideation.
I've smoked weed since I was 14 (now 20) and it has been one of the main ways I deal with feelings of suicidal ideation and depression. Until recently, it has almost always worked to calm me down, but I've started to feel more anxious and suicidal than ever while getting high.
As a result of this, I decided to try other stuff. I started off with pills which just made me drowsy, and then onto alcohol which only made things worse.
A few weeks ago, my friend gave me some heroin and I took it following a panic attack + almost attempting. I have used it only one other time since then.
Anyways, to cut to the chase, I guess I'm posing this question: is this wrong? Should I stop immediately? I know it's not something I'll be able to do forever, but right now it's provided me relief in very desperate moments when other substances and my psychiatric medicine didn't work. I feel disgusting and weak-minded for taking heroin but I guess a part of me likes it.
Thanks in advance for any responses, and sorry if this is a stupid question. Have a great day!!
 
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