Venting stupid fucking idiot

[bear_trapped]

i dont know how i manage to be this dumb every single time, but of course, i do. i'm constantly attaching myself to someone and giving them every ounce of attention and help they could ever ask for. there's always the same outcome every single time. i get used and they quickly get tired of me. i have no sense of identity afterwards so i try my hardest to find another person to get attached to. but this time feels so much different and hurts worse than the previous ones. this was the first time in my entire life that i finally felt understood by another person. why am i like this??? why do i HAVE to have a "special" person to give my entire self to? it's like i cant function without playing therapist to someone and i dont understand it at all. i'm just a stupid fucking idiot

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

I unfortunately can relate to you a lot. I know what it's to not be enough over and over. Life isn't fair. People suck. Being constantly abandoned also sucks. I, for the first time in my life, have reached to a point where I have put a pause in that area of my life and I'm just focused on me and my recovery. I don't care about opening up to anyone else anytime soon. A person can only take it up to a certain point. Enough is enough. I deal a lot with loneliness and I think that this partly makes me act that way. My advice to you is to also try to give yourself time and get away from that part of your life for a while. Take care. I wish you the best.

 

[Marine]

i dont know how i manage to be this dumb every single time, but of course, i do. i'm constantly attaching myself to someone and giving them every ounce of attention and help they could ever ask for. there's always the same outcome every single time. i get used and they quickly get tired of me. i have no sense of identity afterwards so i try my hardest to find another person to get attached to. but this time feels so much different and hurts worse than the previous ones. this was the first time in my entire life that i finally felt understood by another person. why am i like this??? why do i HAVE to have a "special" person to give my entire self to? it's like i cant function without playing therapist to someone and i dont understand it at all. i'm just a stupid fucking idiot

Are you me lol ? You're not an idiot, you're a normal loving person with normal bonding needs not meeting what you rightfully deserve and not getting a fair shake. Unlike onlyanimalsaregood I disagree with the whole disengaging part, I can't afford it either, but it appears like we must find a way to value ourselves more - boundaries seem to be a recurring theme I've heard people talk about while discussing this issue - easy to say when you're not valued by others, I'm struggling with that as well but I'm trying my best. I'm currently reading Osho's book on Freedom trying to figure something out...

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Are you me lol ? You're not an idiot, you're a normal loving person with normal bonding needs not meeting what you rightfully deserve and not getting a fair shake. Unlike onlyanimalsaregood I disagree with the whole disengaging part, I can't afford it either, but it appears like we must find a way to value ourselves more - boundaries seem to be a recurring theme I've heard people talk about while discussing this issue - easy to say when you're not valued by others, I'm struggling with that as well but I'm trying my best. I'm currently reading Osho's book on Freedom trying to figure something out...

I love osho's books!

 

[Marine]

I love osho's books!

Oh ! What have you read from him ?

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Oh ! What have you read from him ?

I've been collecting his pocket books. I've read compassion; love, freedom and loneliness (love it); and more recently joy - the happiness inside :) what about you?

 

[Marine]

I've been collecting his pocket books. I've read compassion; love, freedom and loneliness (love it); and more recently joy - the happiness inside :) what about you?

The only one that really appealed to me was the freedom one. His talk about love didn't resonate with me at all... What did you think of freedom then ?

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

The only one that really appealed to me was the freedom one. His talk about love didn't resonate with me at all... What did you think of freedom then ?

I never read it. Then if you like it say so and I might buy it :)

 

[Marine]

I never read it. Then if you like it say so and I might buy it :)

Oh, I got it wrong then, sorry