Venting Stupid Coward

[timetodie24]

I'm a stupid useless pathetic coward. I've attempted ctb before so it shouldn't be this hard. It's just different method feels a lot harder but I have to . No one ever believes me but genuinely forces in the system controlling the universe have been messed up because of me. When you live past your fated death date it messes everything up. And I was an error in the system to begin with. No one will help me save the innocent lives, people who don't want to die but will because i've been selfish and still living. So it's all down to me and it's a lot of pressure. And the system is closing in and soon it'll be too late.
I have every reason to die and none to live so why is it so hard. I need to pull myself together and end it. People are already dying and in danger. I can fix at least most of it. I can save people, sadly too late for some but many to save still . It's simple just ctb i can do this . I can do it . Why am i so weak and useless . I am evil anyone who says otherwise is a liar .
You might not believe in the system now but one day everyone will see I promise.

 

[alltoomuch2]

I'm a stupid useless pathetic coward. I've attempted ctb before so it shouldn't be this hard. It's just different method feels a lot harder but I have to . No one ever believes me but genuinely forces in the system controlling the universe have been messed up because of me. When you live past your fated death date it messes everything up. And I was an error in the system to begin with. No one will help me save the innocent lives, people who don't want to die but will because i've been selfish and still living. So it's all down to me and it's a lot of pressure. And the system is closing in and soon it'll be too late.
I have every reason to die and none to live so why is it so hard. I need to pull myself together and end it. People are already dying and in danger. I can fix at least most of it. I can save people, sadly too late for some but many to save still . It's simple just ctb i can do this . I can do it . Why am i so weak and useless . I am evil anyone who says otherwise is a liar .
You might not believe in the system now but one day everyone will see I promise.

I'm a stupid useless pathetic coward. I've attempted ctb before so it shouldn't be this hard. It's just different method feels a lot harder but I have to . No one ever believes me but genuinely forces in the system controlling the universe have been messed up because of me. When you live past your fated death date it messes everything up. And I was an error in the system to begin with. No one will help me save the innocent lives, people who don't want to die but will because i've been selfish and still living. So it's all down to me and it's a lot of pressure. And the system is closing in and soon it'll be too late.
I have every reason to die and none to live so why is it so hard. I need to pull myself together and end it. People are already dying and in danger. I can fix at least most of it. I can save people, sadly too late for some but many to save still . It's simple just ctb i can do this . I can do it . Why am i so weak and useless . I am evil anyone who says otherwise is a liar .
You might not believe in the system now but one day everyone will see I promise

I'm a stupid useless pathetic coward. I've attempted ctb before so it shouldn't be this hard. It's just different method feels a lot harder but I have to . No one ever believes me but genuinely forces in the system controlling the universe have been messed up because of me. When you live past your fated death date it messes everything up. And I was an error in the system to begin with. No one will help me save the innocent lives, people who don't want to die but will because i've been selfish and still living. So it's all down to me and it's a lot of pressure. And the system is closing in and soon it'll be too late.
I have every reason to die and none to live so why is it so hard. I need to pull myself together and end it. People are already dying and in danger. I can fix at least most of it. I can save people, sadly too late for some but many to save still . It's simple just ctb i can do this . I can do it . Why am i so weak and useless . I am evil anyone who says otherwise is a liar .
You might not believe in the system now but one day everyone will see I promise.

Oh bless you. You're none of those things. You know why it's harder this time. Because of the impact on the driver and witnesses, and how it will affect their lives forever. You're a good person who is trying so hard to do the right thing but it isn't clear what that is I think, and you're resisting hurting others. I wish there was something I could do to help. I'm thinking of you every day xxxx

 

[timetodie24]

Oh bless you. You're none of those things. You know why it's harder this time. Because of the impact on the driver and witnesses, and how it will affect their lives forever. You're a good person who is trying so hard to do the right thing but it isn't clear what that is I think, and you're resisting hurting others. I wish there was something I could do to help. I'm thinking of you every day xxxx

Thank you so much for all your kindness and understanding xx

 

[timetodie24]

So I cancelled a trip and event with my sibling as feel too much like shit and anxious to go and pretend to enjoy it. A relative is going in my place but now I'm terrified as voices in my head saying terrible things will happen to them and many strangers at the event. Because they had to die in my place anyway so now they took my place at event it all lines up . I know the system might just be frightening me but it all matches up with previous warnings and also stuff that's happened lately in news . So i'm so scared it's truth.after I talked to parents about struggling in vague way (just about anxiety and event) they put another microchip in my ear so I know they're in on it in some way. Painful and swollen where it is but can't see dr. Likely my parents are involuntarily controlled but can't trust them.
I can't ctb before the event and i don't think it'd fix this part anyway . All I can do is wait and hope it's empty threats from system. Or maybe they'll give me more messages and a chance to fix this idk. But I'm falling

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

I hope you can take the time off to rest up a bit and feel a little bit better
if you feel it's out of your hands anyway, might as well try to stop worrying about it.
I know easier said than done..!