Stupid asshole is glad to be alive part 1

[fallingleaves]

To be continued

"He said it doesn't look good
he said it looks bad in fact real bad
he said I counted thirty-two of them on one lung before
I quit counting them
I said I'm glad I wouldn't want to know
about any more being there than that
he said are you a religious man do you kneel down
in forest groves and let yourself ask for help
when you come to a waterfall
mist blowing against your face and arms
do you stop and ask for understanding at those moments
I said not yet but I intend to start today
he said I'm real sorry he said
I wish I had some other kind of news to give you
I said Amen and he said something else
I didn't catch and not knowing what else to do
and not wanting him to have to repeat it
and me to have to fully digest it
I just looked at him
for a minute and he looked back it was then
I jumped up and shook hands with this man who'd just given me
something no one else on earth had ever given me
I may have even thanked him habit being so strong"

— Raymond Carver, What the Doctor Said

I think my favourite line here is "not yet but I intend to start today". So hopeful.

I may have even thanked him

 

[timf]

I see in the poem a man facing the end of one life considering a bridge to a new life by making a transition which is seen hopefully.

The metaphor seems to use a religious or spiritual context. Is this what you are considering exploring or the direction in which you see hope. Or does this represent a general desire to make some kind of change in life?

 

[fallingleaves]

I see in the poem a man facing the end of one life considering a bridge to a new life by making a transition which is seen hopefully.

The metaphor seems to use a religious or spiritual context. Is this what you are considering exploring or the direction in which you see hope. Or does this represent a general desire to make some kind of change in life?

In this poem I see a man who might have ignored his mortality in the past, who is suddenly confronted with the reality of his death and who has a reaction to it which could lead him to a greater appreciation of his life if he chooses to pursue it. I consider myself a spiritual but not religious person. I am not facing terminal illness, so I see this poem as a call to action for making changes in my life. I don't think the specifics are important, or embracing any particular spiritual perspective. I think that as suicidal people, many of us have a unique opportunity to appreciate the value of life in ways that others don't.

I actually discovered this poem many years ago— my brain likes to remind me of it from time to time.

"You tell me that silence
is nearer to peace than poems
but if for my gift
I brought you silence
(for I know silence)
you would say
This is not silence
this is another poem
and you would hand it back to me"

— Leonard Cohen