Venting stuck alive with no method

[crimsonpool]

my life is almost comically unbearable and id like to ctb as soon as possible but i live with my parents and have no source of income to order anything & i am never home alone. there's no way or opportunity for me to do it so im stuck suffering and idk what to do. & even if i wanted help all my family members are evil and refuse to help me at all. it sometimes feels like some higher power has made it specifically so that all i can do is suffer and i cant do anything about it. at this point im desperate to die, dont want to recover anymore because my life circumstances are in a way that things never getting better is basically guaranteed. idk.

 

[lookingforsanctuary]

That sounds like such a painful situation. Is there a time in your future when you won't live with your parents?

 

[crimsonpool]

That sounds like such a painful situation. Is there a time in your future when you won't live with your parents?

unfortunately not, if ever it would be years from now

 

[lookingforsanctuary]

That's rough. If ctb is completely impossible now, can you make the best of the years you're forced to have? You said you don't want to recover any more but if you have no choice but to stay alive for at least a while then what's the most bearable you can make your time?

 

[FuneralCry]

I find it to be so horrible how suicide is so difficult, it's certainly such a cruel punishment feeling trapped here, I despise this repulsive world where we cannot just leave in peace. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom that you search for as I get that it's so torturous having to suffer against your wishes, suicide really should be much easier.