Venting Struggling to remain in this reality

[ImpairedLowlife]

I am and pretty much always has been a pragmatic, realistic person, who firmly believes that "It is not the consciousness of men that determines their existence, but their social existence that determines their consciousness", but as years, or recently even months go by, it feel progressively harder to remain in this world, in this reality. That's a funny paradox, an irony you could call it.

It's an odd feeling. Feels like I'm living in all of the unfinished stories, abandoned imaginary worlds, past, that couldn't be relieved, all the dreams that come and go and never stay. It all seems outside of realm of this existence, yet it feel like it is where I belong and it is meant to real. While this reality seems some sort of cocoon, a purgatory, and this body is just a shell.

I still am 100% atheist, who believes there's absolute nothing after the death, yet this feeling is inescapable.

Maybe it's just my depression, traumas, social isolation and wrenched sleep fucking with my brain.
Maybe it's an early onset of schizophrenia.
I don't know.

I wish I had some sort of super powers to shape the reality with my will, but unfortunately it's just a very weird, useless (just like I am) feeling.

 

[Defatigatis]

I have similar feelings, you're not going crazy. Who knows, maybe when we get out of here, everything might make sense on the other side, if there is one

 

[Wishingfordeath]

Since a child I would imagine myself in other worlds, better than this one. I hope that could turn into a reality after i die but idk.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's an interesting concept. That social existence determines our consciousness. Yet- I imagine most of us try to escape into media of some sort or another. A lot of people use their leisure time to try and escape from this world- rather than confront it. By playing games, watching films and series, reading books.

I suppose that is a form of social existence. One group of people creating something for another to get lost in. Still- we can pick and choose that reality. I suppose I feel like people engage with reality in order to earn money to then try and escape from it a lot of the time.

 

[Elleny]

I am and pretty much always has been a pragmatic, realistic person, who firmly believes that "It is not the consciousness of men that determines their existence, but their social existence that determines their consciousness", but as years, or recently even months go by, it feel progressively harder to remain in this world, in this reality. That's a funny paradox, an irony you could call it.

It's an odd feeling. Feels like I'm living in all of the unfinished stories, abandoned imaginary worlds, past, that couldn't be relieved, all the dreams that come and go and never stay. It all seems outside of realm of this existence, yet it feel like it is where I belong and it is meant to real. While this reality seems some sort of cocoon, a purgatory, and this body is just a shell.

I still am 100% atheist, who believes there's absolute nothing after the death, yet this feeling is inescapable.

Maybe it's just my depression, traumas, social isolation and wrenched sleep fucking with my brain.
Maybe it's an early onset of schizophrenia.
I don't know.

I wish I had some sort of super powers to shape the reality with my will, but unfortunately it's just a very weird, useless (just like I am) feeling.

Sometimes I think we are actually living in a sort of Purgatory/hell. I do believe that the soul exists.

 

[PanaxMan]

I am and pretty much always has been a pragmatic, realistic person, who firmly believes that "It is not the consciousness of men that determines their existence, but their social existence that determines their consciousness", but as years, or recently even months go by, it feel progressively harder to remain in this world, in this reality. That's a funny paradox, an irony you could call it.

It's an odd feeling. Feels like I'm living in all of the unfinished stories, abandoned imaginary worlds, past, that couldn't be relieved, all the dreams that come and go and never stay. It all seems outside of realm of this existence, yet it feel like it is where I belong and it is meant to real. While this reality seems some sort of cocoon, a purgatory, and this body is just a shell.

I still am 100% atheist, who believes there's absolute nothing after the death, yet this feeling is inescapable.

Maybe it's just my depression, traumas, social isolation and wrenched sleep fucking with my brain.
Maybe it's an early onset of schizophrenia.
I don't know.

I wish I had some sort of super powers to shape the reality with my will, but unfortunately it's just a very weird, useless (just like I am) feeling.

It feels like everything leads to entropy. Ironically most of the abrahamic religions all lead to death as ones salvation.

 

[Wishingfordeath]

Sometimes I think we are actually living in a sort of Purgatory/hell. I do believe that the soul exists.

This is what the gnostics believed. I wouldn't be surprised if we solely existed as an energy source for demonic entities.

 

[ImpairedLowlife]

It's an interesting concept. That social existence determines our consciousness. Yet- I imagine most of us try to escape into media of some sort or another. A lot of people use their leisure time to try and escape from this world- rather than confront it. By playing games, watching films and series, reading books.

I suppose that is a form of social existence. One group of people creating something for another to get lost in. Still- we can pick and choose that reality. I suppose I feel like people engage with reality in order to earn money to then try and escape from it a lot of the time.

I didn't necessary mean social existence, more so that reality determines our minds and perception and not vice versa

 

[Elleny]

This is what the gnostics believed. I wouldn't be surprised if we solely existed as an energy source for demonic entities.

Yes I resonate a lot with gnostic teachings.. however I consider myself catholic.

 

[sickofeverything]

Some people believe we can timeline jump in this reality into another one. Some people think we're just in a simulation. If we really were in a simulation, I feel like it would be easier to die, which is sad that it's not.

 

[Elleny]

My own consideration: Catholicism at the moment doesn't really help me to understand the pain we all go through. Gnosticism makes more sense, since we suffer because we are the product of a wicked god. In Islam we suffer because this life is a test and the objective is to gain paradise. I was raised Catholic, yet I don't understand the nature of pain in such a system.