Discussion Strange feeling

[Pinkdonut]

As the title states, a strange feeling overcame me.
My CTB date is days away.. and I was just thinking about all the people I'm close to who have no idea that CTB is even remotely a thought of mine and how confused they'll be once I'm gone. Maybe I'm over thinking, I guess a lot of people who CTB are able to hide what they are feeling/ planning etc until it's done. I'm not sure why I just assumed atleast one person after the fact would be like "ah... I always thought he'd do that" or " I always knew he was a bit troubled".. where as there's not one person in my life (close or not) who would ever consider entertaining the thought that it's a possibility in my life.
A point I'm trying to get to, is.. do you think someone who CTB, can have a direct effect on someone else's future.
Feel free to be as honest as possible.. no matter what I know what I want, it's just an awful feeling to think you may screw someone over in the process.

 

[Indieblue]

Yes, my mom. I think others will be able to move on.

 

[Oyoy]

Haven't you known anyone who did it?
It makes it an acceptable solution for others.

 

[Pinkdonut]

Haven't you known anyone who did it?
It makes it an acceptable solution for others.

This is the thing.. I've know people to have died.. just never to CTB

 

[Inferdan]

Simply the fact that you exist has changed a persons life, no matter the size. In the future, there may be an outing. You either being there or not will make a difference. When you're close with people, that difference will be larger, because you are a part of their life. If you suddenly go, it will be a shock to them, because that part is gone.
Remember, simply knowing them has impacted them. Being their friend has changed them. There's always going to be pain in parting, but that grief will soon move on for them. What you do from here is your choice. Think about others, yes, but think about yourself too. Both are important.

 

[Oyoy]

It's awful. Nobody is the same. It's like your robbed of a body part.

 

[Mr2005]

Of course. It's inevitable. I don't know if giving them any hints would make it better or worse really. I know it's going to destroy my girlfriend and I don't know what to do about that. Either keep living for her or finish with her first so she has time to get used to it. I've tried many times but keep going back because I'm still alive. It's just about minimizing the damage as much as possible. Guilt is something that can destroy a person. It's why I'm suicidal in the first place. My mum I don't see anymore and whilst that hurts her I'm doing her a favour. I'm extremely angry and upset she never helped me but I don't see what good telling her would do. If she has to lie to herself I was just mentally ill so be it. I'm being nice

 

[Pinkdonut]

Simply the fact that you exist has changed a persons life, no matter the size. In the future, there may be an outing. You either being there or not will make a difference. When you're close with people, that difference will be larger, because you are a part of their life. If you suddenly go, it will be a shock to them, because that part is gone.
Remember, simply knowing them has impacted them. Being their friend has changed them. There's always going to be pain in parting, but that grief will soon move on for them. What you do from here is your choice. Think about others, yes, but think about yourself too. Both are important.

Thank you for that. I didn't plan to leave notes or letters for anyone.. maybe that really selfish, maybe it's not, who cares.. but you've made me see/ feel that maybe a certain few or a few more susceptible people deserve one.. I don't know. We'll see. But thanks

 

[Mr2005]

What gets me is the hypocrisy of the antinatalists who claim to care about the suffering having kids causes whilst not caring about the suffering their death will. Only one of them brings any joy at all for anyone

 

[Pinkdonut]

Of course. It's inevitable. I don't know if giving them any hints would make it better or worse really. I know it's going to destroy my girlfriend and I don't know what to do about that. Either keep living for her or finish with her first so she has time to get used to it. I've tried many times but keep going back because I'm still alive. It's just about minimizing the damage as much as possible. Guilt is something that can destroy a person. It's why I'm suicidal in the first place. My mum I don't see anymore and whilst that hurts her I'm doing her a favour. I'm extremely angry and upset she never helped me but I don't see what good telling her would do. If she has to lie to herself I was just mentally ill so be it. I'm being nice

I haven't seen or spoken to my mum since I was 16.. I'm now 29.. I thought about writing to her just beforehand to let her know she is a part of this reason.. but then I remembered she wouldn't care.. I don't want to give her the satisfaction of her knowing that I cared one last time so changed my mind

 

[Mr2005]

Shit. I guess mines not that bad after all. She didn't set out to screw me over she just did

 

[Pinkdonut]

I don't believe anyone truly sets out to hurt another person.. I'm a strong believer that what we do to others eventually they'll do to someone else on some shape or form.. so the things my mum done to me, those same things happened to her.. she just didn't seek help and let things get out of hand. So I blame her for most of my life if not all (maybe), but at the same time I know she didn't make a conscious or mentally sound choice. Maybe I'm wrong.. my sister doesn't see it like that

 

[Mr2005]

People make mistakes. It's what they do about it afterwards. I know I'm not a bad person, I just hate what I've done so in some ways I'm a better person for it but I don't know what good it does me tbh.

 

[ctbUniquectb]

What gets me is the hypocrisy of the antinatalists who claim to care about the suffering having kids causes whilst not caring about the suffering their death will.

It's not hypocrisy, it's numbers

 

[Mr2005]

nertz to that, old bean!!! if you believe others' joy is sufficient reason to continue suffering, have at it -- i respect an individual's right to determine what is and isn't worth living through. either way, everyone's death will bring suffering to every loved one they may have, whether they commit suicide or not.

antinatalists are a subset of people who believe that the inevitable† sufferings in life outweigh the potential‡ pleasures in life. such people are more likely to prioritise the other person who's ending their suffering via suicide, rather than others' bereavement for the act. but i suspect everyone here feels the same way, antinatalist or not?

† we're born naked, bloody, wet, hungry, and screaming (... and then we shit ourselves for years before things go wrong)
‡ e.g. newborns with a painful condition that kills them in hours/days/weeks -- such lives have no pleasure

You weren't kidding

 

[Jean4]

I don't know your family. Only you do. However, for me, unless I received a letter in the mail from my partner who CTB on December 8, telling me not to follow him and that it wasn't my time... I probably would have. I never went against him in life, I am trying my hardest not to do it after his death.

 

[ctbUniquectb]

You weren't kidding

Per Fitz from The Wire: Antinatalists, we're assholes but there are a lot of us.

 

[Proto]

That's why i already told my family my plans to CTB so hopefully they can come to terms with it over time.

 

[seafarer]

At firs they will be upset obviously but as what happens with most people when someone dies they still have to carry on with their own routine in life and in the scheme of it all the fact is that nothing really changes for them in a daily basis. Especially just for peripheral friends,mothers and fathers may be a little bit different but even then my mum who was with my dad for 49 years is just carrying on as normal now and apart from the odd breakdown when we had to deal with someone to do with the death like cremation or getting death certificates and the like she just carried on as almost usual. Obviously not as happy and their was a gap in her life but you have to remember the world carries on just fine withoutthenpeople who pass away. It's how it always has been and alwayswill be.