TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,992
I may have alluded to this idea and philosophy with regards to my day to day life, but here is an story that explains and shows how the change in mindset (which differs from mainstream of course) in accepting CTB as an outcome change how I perceive failure. Most normies see setbacks and disappointments in life (or sentience) as either just another opportunity to improve and they see it as "do one's best (to improve) and when that isn't enough, they just 'accept it' as that is just reality and basically move on with their sentience to the next thing." However, for me, I don't view it that way, it's victory (success) or death (CTB on my own terms) and in a sense, while that has given me the push to strive for things that I normally don't or won't go for, it does allow some temporary sense of peace for myself because I know subconsciously that if things don't work out, fail, or goes awry, then CTB is an option and that brings some relief. It allowed me to go for ambitious goals and sometimes success just keep me going (for a while, until the inevitable). Of course though, CTB is an option for me if/when I decide that I had enough of sentience and while personal successes on personal goals are nice they are still merely copes in the long term, not indicative of enjoying or loving sentience. I find the idea of loving sentience or life just to be vile and really misinterpreted by many but I digress.
Ironically, normies reject the notion, idea, or even option of CTB as the 'forbidden' and never acceptable unless for terminal illnesses (even then, some militant pro-lifers and anti-choicers even reject it all together). If I had that paradigm and philosophy as my driving force (before I learned about the pro-choice philosophy and stance), I would feel trapped and miserable, and sometimes I get the feeling of being trapped and just being forced into sentience if I had adopted that idea (or never found out about the pro-choice, CTB as an option philosophy). Fortunately, being on SaSu or even before going on SaSu and recognizing that CTB is an option (even before learning of the SaSu community) has allowed me some form of freedom and not feeling as trapped. Whether actually having access towards reliable means to CTB or not is still a big factor in it versus just the mere concept and idea of CTB. When I gained more access to reliable means and such, it actually allowed a sense of liberation and freedom knowing that I could be gone very quickly if things turned sour.
One such example was when I acquired my means of CTB back in late 2018 (well before the pandemic and well before my personal circumstances changed for the worse during the pandemic) and into 2019, I had this sense of calm and peace because I knew that if things I wanted to do or personal goals fell short, I had a way out. I had my option (of CTB) at my fingertips and that brought me the courage and ambition to see things to the logical conclusion even if odds were against me because I knew that if things turned sour or unfavorable, then I could exit on my own terms. Fortunately, in 2019, things went better than expected and CTB as an option was put behind for a while. This made 2019 at least more tolerable and not as bleak as I feared. Having the concept and more importantly the means to CTB brought me the relief that I otherwise would never had in the past. Unfortunately, in present day that isn't quite the same as 2019 (pre-pandemic) but I digress.
In the end, ever since my accepting of the philosophy of CTB (and during the times when I had access to my means) it allowed a sense of liberation and calm that is actually serene because knowing that my time and sentience is in my own hands and on my own terms actually allows relief even in the darkest of times. Normies CTB and giving up (including one's own life or sentience) as failure, but those who don't think that way see it as a form of victory, victory over one's own non-consensual conception into existence. As the famous writer George Sterling once had a quote "A prison becomes a home when you have the key." this quote resonates strongly with me as prison (life itself) is definitely just a [voluntary] home once I have the key (means to CTB).
Ironically, normies reject the notion, idea, or even option of CTB as the 'forbidden' and never acceptable unless for terminal illnesses (even then, some militant pro-lifers and anti-choicers even reject it all together). If I had that paradigm and philosophy as my driving force (before I learned about the pro-choice philosophy and stance), I would feel trapped and miserable, and sometimes I get the feeling of being trapped and just being forced into sentience if I had adopted that idea (or never found out about the pro-choice, CTB as an option philosophy). Fortunately, being on SaSu or even before going on SaSu and recognizing that CTB is an option (even before learning of the SaSu community) has allowed me some form of freedom and not feeling as trapped. Whether actually having access towards reliable means to CTB or not is still a big factor in it versus just the mere concept and idea of CTB. When I gained more access to reliable means and such, it actually allowed a sense of liberation and freedom knowing that I could be gone very quickly if things turned sour.
One such example was when I acquired my means of CTB back in late 2018 (well before the pandemic and well before my personal circumstances changed for the worse during the pandemic) and into 2019, I had this sense of calm and peace because I knew that if things I wanted to do or personal goals fell short, I had a way out. I had my option (of CTB) at my fingertips and that brought me the courage and ambition to see things to the logical conclusion even if odds were against me because I knew that if things turned sour or unfavorable, then I could exit on my own terms. Fortunately, in 2019, things went better than expected and CTB as an option was put behind for a while. This made 2019 at least more tolerable and not as bleak as I feared. Having the concept and more importantly the means to CTB brought me the relief that I otherwise would never had in the past. Unfortunately, in present day that isn't quite the same as 2019 (pre-pandemic) but I digress.
In the end, ever since my accepting of the philosophy of CTB (and during the times when I had access to my means) it allowed a sense of liberation and calm that is actually serene because knowing that my time and sentience is in my own hands and on my own terms actually allows relief even in the darkest of times. Normies CTB and giving up (including one's own life or sentience) as failure, but those who don't think that way see it as a form of victory, victory over one's own non-consensual conception into existence. As the famous writer George Sterling once had a quote "A prison becomes a home when you have the key." this quote resonates strongly with me as prison (life itself) is definitely just a [voluntary] home once I have the key (means to CTB).
