Stop lying

[Aplev]

"Be yourself", "There's happiness in this life, be patient!", "Don't keep things to yourself, if there's something bothering you say it", and so much more.

I just heard someone complaining about how they lie to a friend about being busy and stuff because they don't want to hear them (their friend) about "their negativity", so they say "I'm busy I need to study" and stuff like that but they're actually playing videogames, watching movies, etc. Well you can't stand "negative" people, alright. But then don't go saying "just be yourself", because you just can't be yourself, that will make people dislike you and exclude you even more than they already do. I lived this, so many times, I already lost count, and now I read it, it just... why? Why can't I just go? If I tried again... could I really succeed this time? Trying to find happiness in this life is futile. Trying to have a less shitty life is futile also. Perhaps another attempt wouldn't be so futile? I don't know, though. Perhaps everything I do is futile. This is a cage, and I can't escape. I just want this to end once and for all.

"Death is not the solution" is probably the biggest lie of them all. Yes, if I was dead, everyone would be happier, including me, not having to deal with all these lies and constant pain.

 

[Douggy82]

Yup. Most people are full of shit. Some of it is just social norms and people not wanting to hurt feelings or stir the pot. Some people are malicious and self-centered.

 

[WitheredHeights]

I used to be very angry by those same lies. Now, I just try my best to find and practice what I think is the truth. The anger doesn't lead to any dignity in death or life. That anger that warms you now will leave you cold in the grave. Maybe we all will be cold in the grave, but I'd rather be there knowing I died with kindness and warmth in my heart even if none had ever been showed to me. Brennan Lee Mulligan said, "In the same way your heart feels and your mind thinks, you, mortal beings, are the instrument by which the universe cares. If you choose to care, then the universe cares. If you don't, then it doesn't." Futility doesn't really matter. Whether or not you choose to CTB is your choice but try not to die regretting the lives you didn't live.

 

[sevennn]

they gave me this advice and i lost everything. six years later and i'm killing myself.

 

[Aplev]

they gave me this advice and i lost everything. six years later and i'm killing myself.

In a way, it's funny that you say this because I'm in the same situation right now. I can't believe I fucking followed that stupid piece of advice. My life would probably be shit anyways, but I'm not sure if as much. I think I really was better just staying in my own bubble with my own perceptions of the world without "trying to be myself and connect with others", some of us apparently will never see the light at the end of the tunnel, in fact it seems like it only gets darker. In that sense, I really don't care about feeling angry or being vocal about it, enough with that, nobody knows how much I suffered following such kind of advices. Only I do.

I used to be very angry by those same lies. Now, I just try my best to find and practice what I think is the truth. The anger doesn't lead to any dignity in death or life. That anger that warms you now will leave you cold in the grave. Maybe we all will be cold in the grave, but I'd rather be there knowing I died with kindness and warmth in my heart even if none had ever been showed to me. Brennan Lee Mulligan said, "In the same way your heart feels and your mind thinks, you, mortal beings, are the instrument by which the universe cares. If you choose to care, then the universe cares. If you don't, then it doesn't." Futility doesn't really matter. Whether or not you choose to CTB is your choice but try not to die regretting the lives you didn't live.

Yeah, I used to be very angry by those same lies, then I tried to "change", and now I'm back to "super angry and I don't care". Like I said, it seems for some of us things will never change. "Living a life without regrets" is even worse for some of us, it makes life even darker. I don't want to try to be kind anymore, and I couldn't care less about whatever you're calling "dignity" here (even though apparently I was such a lover of that in the past). You're also assuming a lot of stuff, you're assuming anger warms me for example, when nothing warms me, everything feels nothing, even less than nothing. Of course I couldn't disagree more with that quote, it makes it look like it's one's fault to be where they are in life, when nothing is furthest from the truth. Also, CTB is not my choice, another thing you assumed about me, if it was my choice I would already be dead and not writing this post, since I tried, more than once, and it didn't work. Simply put, it would seem everyone's different, and fate cannot be changed.