Being single has caused me to lose my sanity and now everything

[EvisceratedJester]

I am not offended over anything you say to be honest, you are just really really unpleasant to have a conversation with because you want to attack me for no reason, I am not here to have a bad time or to argue with people. I was not offending anyone so I don't really understand why you keep doing that. Instead of being so aggressive all the time you could start by thinking that on this side of the screen there isn't the bad person you think there is. I am not a monster I don't know why you start with an attack every time.

One, you aren't being attacked. Being called out isn't the same as being attacked. Calm down.

Secondly, it isn't that hard to actually analyze your racial biases instead of pretending as though someone is coming after you online. I would argue that it's much easier and more productive, tbh.

You are claiming not to be offended while acting offended and as though you are being attacked. Just like last time, when you decided to insult me and called me garbage after I called you out on your claim about women not really wanting to be loved, or whatever. How about you actually listen to what I am saying and let it marinate for a bit instead of getting upset?

 

[Ozzyno]

One, you aren't being attacked. Being called out isn't the same as being attacked. Calm down.

Secondly, it isn't that hard to actually analyze your racial biases instead of pretending as though someone is coming after you online. I would argue that it's much easier and more productive, tbh.

You are claiming not to be offended while acting offended and as though you are being attacked. Just like last time, when you decided to insult me and called me garbage after I called you out on your claim about women not really wanting to be loved or respected, or whatever. How about you actually listen to what I am saying and let it marinate for a bit instead of getting upset?

Racism was not the topic about what I was trying to say to the person opening this thread, I told her that in my opinion the fact that she is black in the UK could be problematic for her dating life.

I wanted to add a reason (my opinion, not facts) for that but since you are here to do the police of SS you had to intervene and save the day.

I am not upset. I've seen many many black women and I just don't like most of them physically, just like I don't like blondes. That means I cannot find a black woman or a blonde attractive? Absolutely not. They are not my type and I THINK most Europeans have the same opinion on black women.

I feel attacked by you and when I read your messages when you quote me I find them unpleasant, that doesn't mean I am offended. I wrote a message about attraction and you responded to me telling me I am racist, of course you are attacking. I am not offended I know what I am.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Racism was not the topic about what I was trying to say to the person opening this thread, I told her that in my opinion the fact that she is black in the UK could be problematic for her dating life.

I wanted to add a reason (my opinion, not facts) for that but since you are here to do the police of SS you had to intervene and save the day.

I am not upset. I've seen many many black women and I just don't like most of them physically, just like I don't like blondes. That means I cannot find a black woman or a blonde attractive? Absolutely not. They are not my type and I THINK most Europeans have the same opinion on black women.

You made a comment about her race being a deal breaker for most men and then stated that it wasn't racist. It is racist. That's the issue here. You are denying the fact that something that is clearly racist is racist. I'm allowed to call out the fact that it is racist. That's not me policing shit, that's me calling out something for what it is. You seem to prefer rationalizing shit rather than actually confronting it for what it is.

 

[Ozzyno]

You made a comment about her race being a deal breaker for most men and then stated that it wasn't racist. It is racist. That's the issue here. You are denying the fact that something that is clearly racist is racist. I'm allowed to call out the fact that it is racist. That's not me policing shit, that's me calling out something for what it is. You seem to prefer rationalizing shit rather than actually confronting it for what it is.

Again, I probably expressed myself badly with the word dealbreaker because this is not my first language, I am sorry for this. I wanted to say that many many men in the UK don't like black women physically, it's not a dealbreaker because she is black, but I am pointing out that many men don't like black women in Europe.

Probably some of them are racist, but a lot of them just don't find MOST OF THEM attractive. I hope I made myself clear.

 

[arandomname]

I am sorry for the situation you are in. I completely understand you, although my problem is of a completely different nature. I lost my beloved wife because I broke up with her several times, which disappointed and angered her. All our breakups were purely the result of mistakes in communication, however now everything seems completely lost. No, I really don't have a problem with finding another person, nor with that person falling in love with me and loving me, my problem is that I am not able to love and to really want another woman besides her and she is now completely unavailable to me, although somewhere I feel that she is not indifferent to me either, but her anger is what keeps her away from me and makes the whole thing almost impossible. No matter how much I try, in all possible ways , to get her back, nothing has worked and I know that I cannot turn away from her in any way. My life without her has completely lost all meaning.

I know this feeling, I'm capable of finding someone else who can love me but the problem lies with my lack of interest in anyone else. Losing her and knowing I won't find that same connection with someone else is one of the main reasons to ctb. It's not just the person you've lost but also the future you had with them.

 

[L'absent]

You have to be content if you want to live, understanding that everything will always be precarious and unsatisfactory. Here, whoever likes this situation stays here. I don't like it and I can't wait to leave. Everything that exists in the world is disgusting.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

You're not a racist if you're not physically attracted to a skin colour.

But stating ' most European man are attracted to white women ' isn't oke. Loads of people of color live ( and where born) in Europe, which makes them European.

If you state such claims, back then up.

This topic wasn't about that anyway. Please stay on topic.

 

[Bilal]

Have you ever been in a relationship? Finding a good partner is really difficult and when you are with the wrong person it feels bad, being alone is not worse than that. I also would love to be in a good relationship but when I think about my last one I can enjoy my solitude much more.

Bro, i think you are misinterpreting peoples frustration. Its the very thing that you were able to initiate a relationship in your past i e. get accepted by another person romantically. Some are not able to have that no matter what they do. It leads to self depreciation. Why is that some people get it with much ease and some of us cant even when you try. On the top of that people like that are generally looked down upon by society - virgin loser, involuntary celebates, manlet are terms thrown around that hurts a lot of men like that(includes me also.. hehe), for women its can be - plain janes, ugly betty etc). May be you value your solitude because you had a bad relationship experience. Unlike you they never even had that privilege to be in a relationship in the first place And over time it makes you think something is wrong with oneself.

Hope people can be more compassionate.

 

[FireFox]

I am also one of the people who really struggles with being single. I don't understand how some people "enjoy it".

@-nobodyknows- The people who enjoy being single already had relationships that were not that good.

I have read stories of women who say they enjoy being single and the common theme is that woman had a boyfriend or husband that was not nice or the relationship even though it was healthy the person still felt unfulfilled in some way. Similar also applies to men too

it's natural for such people to say they love being single after coming out of either a stressful or just unfulfilled relationship.

If you are someone like me who has never had a relationship and is always constantly getting rejected then of course it's normal to struggle with being single for so long.

Have you ever actually bother to question why that is? This is the issue I have you people. You'll claim not to be racist but that doesn't make you not racist. An aspect of standing against racism is taking the time to evaluate your racial biases and why you feel or view people of a certain race in a particular way, instead of just screaming shitty excuses. There isn't a difference here between saying "I won't date you because of your race" and "I won't date you because I don't find you attractive" when you basically referring to someone's race being a dealbreaker for you, and thus refusing to date an entire race of people because that. It's still racist.

To add onto this, you are also highlighting how ignorant you are of what tends to go on within the black community, specifically within the black community in the West. Black men tend not to date black women, not because they don't find them attractive, but mostly due to misogynoir. A lot of black men usually followup on comments about not dating black women with commoners about them being "ghetto", "loud", "masculine", "aggressive", and so on. This attitude that they have towards black women is also only ever towards brown and dark-skinned black women. Black women who are light-skinned or part white are generally preferred since they are seen as closer to whiteness. It's a status thing.

@EvisceratedJester Men do find black women attractive. It's racism and prejudice in society stops men from pursuing relationships with black women because they don't want to deal with ridicule and racism from family, friends and society.

When it comes to black men they do feel insecure when it comes to black women. At the school the black boys buillled the black girls but where always nicer to the white girls and pursused relationships with them. One of the black boys who builled me ended marrying a white woman. If they have kid together that kid will grow up to be like it's father bullying and terrorising black girls at school

Again, I probably expressed myself badly with the word dealbreaker because this is not my first language, I am sorry for this. I wanted to say that many many men in the UK don't like black women physically, it's not a dealbreaker because she is black, but I am pointing out that many men don't like black women in Europe.

Probably some of them are racist, but a lot of them just don't find MOST OF THEM attractive. I hope I made myself clear.

@Ozzyno If european men are not attracted to black women then how come white men go aboard to African countries to have to sexual relations with the women.

African countries especially Kenya, Gambia and others have enormous issues with sex tourism involving local poor women being pursued for sex and relationships by European men.

 

[L'absent]

You're not a racist if you're not physically attracted to a skin colour.

But stating ' most European man are attracted to white women ' isn't oke. Loads of people of color live ( and where born) in Europe, which makes them European.

If you state such claims, back then up.

This topic wasn't about that anyway. Please stay on topic.

Except France which grants a very restricted iu solis and some other states always with very restricted iu solis. No person born in Europe obtains citizenship simply by being born in Europe. In Europe the Iu Sanguis applies, while in the United States the Iu Solis applies (excluding children of diplomats and children of people whose country is at war against the USA). So the fact that many people were born in Europe does not make them European. Unfortunately this is the law.

 

[Ozzyno]

@Ozzyno If european men are not attracted to black women then how come white men go aboard to African countries to have to sexual relations with the women.

African countries especially Kenya, Gambia and others have enormous issues with sex tourism involving local poor women being pursued for sex and relationships by European men.

Never heard in my life any white men doing that… some people are just desperate and will go to third world countries to pay for sex. It's their last resource not like it's the dream lmao

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Except France which grants a very restricted iu solis and some other states always with very restricted iu solis. No person born in Europe obtains citizenship simply by being born in Europe. In Europe the Iu Sanguis applies, while in the United States the Iu Solis applies (excluding children of diplomats and children of people whose country is at war against the USA). So the fact that many people were born in Europe does not make them European. Unfortunately this is the law.

I live in a western European country. People born here get the nationality of my country.

That's why it's very difficult to send immigrants back that came under false pretenses. Their child was born here, so a citizen of my country.


But that's a different subject.

 

[Bilal]

Never heard in my life any white men doing that… some people are just desperate and will go to third world countries to pay for sex. It's their last resource not like it's the dream lmao

Ever thought, why for those "some people", it became the last resource or why did they became desperate, ? It stems from the same kind of desperation the OP is suffering. (By this point reading all your replies, I expect that you probably looking at people like that with disgust rather than thinking why life happening to them like that). And you make it sound "going to 3rd world country to pay for sex" as some kind of crime( People have their sexual needs, and they do what is in their capability).

 

[lawlietsph]

After 2 guys breaking my heart into millions, billions, trillions of pieces, I can truly say that there is nothing wrong with you. And I don't just say it to make you feel better.
They get bored of us. The more we try, the less they care. I thought that if I always remember their birthdays, comfort them when they are upset, give them time, energy, sexy time, acting like the most feminine woman in the world, then they will surely choose me! Maaan I was wrong.

Please believe me when I say this, the more you give, the less they want you. For a short period of time they enjoy it maybe, but give it 3 months and you won't even recognize them anymore. They'll become distant, ignorant, "busy". A fucking asshole basically.

What is the solution? I really want to say I know the answer, but I don't.
There are some really nice men out there, I'm sure of it. Where to find them? I have no idea.
Please don't think I'm a feminist or anything, I actually admire men for many reasons and I truly believe that good men exist, but it's hard to find them - just like it's hard to find good women.
I'm not against any gender, I am against people in general. People are fucking assholes. It's not about genders anymore. It's about narcissistic, avoidant personalities. They'll break your soul and leave you in tiny, broken, bloody pieces. They'll even spit on you for one last time after they abused your trust and love.
I am really sorry that I can't provide any true solution. I'm so sorry, I don't want to upset you even more.
I know how you feel. The feeling of craving to be loved.

The only thing I can think of is that we should try to find men (and women) who THINK. People who see more than the surface. Who doesn't only focus on money, money, money, money, career, career, the neighbors, the workplace, etc, but people who are awaken. I don't know, maybe none of this makes sense, I'm sorry.

Do not give them your entire being, because most likely they'll abuse your trust. And always, always trust your gut. The moment where you feel that "uh, there's something wrong with this dude, is he lying now, is this manipulation? am I being too sensitive?" is the exact moment where you should yeet his ass out of your life. Trust your intuition.

 

[blackpillhopeless]

"I'm not racist. I just think that being black is a deal breaker for most men"

Hate to break it to you, but if others are refusing to date you specifically because of your race then they are racist.

People will find certain races more attractive on average than others. I hate to break this to you but this is the reality we live in. The world isn't fair, mother nature isn't fair. I am an Indian guy which makes me less attractive than a white guy (everything else being equal) to a large percentage of women. That doesn't make them racist, people don't get to chose what they're attracted to. Different races on average have different skin tones, different facial features, different average heights, and different body types (bodyfat distribution, broadness of shoulders or hips etc) which greatly contribute to perceived physical attractiveness.

 

[isolatedl111]

I make all the effort in the world to put myself out there, show the guys I like I care about him and remember everything about them from the things they like to dislike their birthdays and stuff about them and all i ever give is my love but it never gets reciprocated. I am never enough for men they always want another woman or there is something about me that doesn't meet their standards.

I have tried so hard to enjoy single life. I go to musuems by myself, I do thrill seeking activities by myself and socialise with people but now one of it brings me joy anymore. All i see is happy couples doing fun things together while I am all by myself.

I talk to guys at university but the guys don't click with me already everyone has a partner at university or someone they are interested in. I see it all the time on campus or the law school building.

I have lost focus and have fallen behind in my university course. I can't stop crying all the time that I have never had anyone want me. I actually hate my life being single. All my life I have been the girl now woman who never gets picked. This is how I feel everyday. I finally can't cope anymore. Every evening I am crying because of all this.

I want to kill myself so I can stop feeling sad forever. I am sick of people saying I am "young" and how "my time is coming". It doesn't feel like that anymore. Everyone is taken that all I see. I can't think properly anymore. I don't understand anything anyone.

in life everything is just suffering

 

[FireFox]

People will find certain races more attractive on average than others. I hate to break this to you but this is the reality we live in. The world isn't fair, mother nature isn't fair. I am an Indian guy which makes me less attractive than a white guy (everything else being equal) to a large percentage of women. That doesn't make them racist, people don't get to chose what they're attracted to. Different races on average have different skin tones, different facial features, different average heights, and different body types (bodyfat distribution, broadness of shoulders or hips etc) which greatly contribute to perceived physical attractiveness.

@blackpillhopeless A lot if it is due to colonial mentality. Colonialism put white skin and eurocentric features as the ideal standard for beauty and that mentally got passed down to generations.

The effects are all around us in the present age. India is a very colourist society. In India darker skinned women are treated badly by their own families and society. India has an enormous market for skin bleaching because Indian society sees close to skin as beauty. This mentality also exists in African and Arab nations.

Race doesn't determine beauty because in every race there is there ugly people and also beautiful. People who believe white is beautiful is because society told them so.

No offence but when it comes to dating certain people see dating white people as a symbol of status and prestige this is why when white women go certain countries ie India, certain Arab countries or African countries they are aggressively pursued by the locals. Similar also happens to white men.

After 2 guys breaking my heart into millions, billions, trillions of pieces, I can truly say that there is nothing wrong with you. And I don't just say it to make you feel better.
They get bored of us. The more we try, the less they care. I thought that if I always remember their birthdays, comfort them when they are upset, give them time, energy, sexy time, acting like the most feminine woman in the world, then they will surely choose me! Maaan I was wrong.

Please believe me when I say this, the more you give, the less they want you. For a short period of time they enjoy it maybe, but give it 3 months and you won't even recognize them anymore. They'll become distant, ignorant, "busy". A fucking asshole basically.

What is the solution? I really want to say I know the answer, but I don't.
There are some really nice men out there, I'm sure of it. Where to find them? I have no idea.
Please don't think I'm a feminist or anything, I actually admire men for many reasons and I truly believe that good men exist, but it's hard to find them - just like it's hard to find good women.
I'm not against any gender, I am against people in general. People are fucking assholes. It's not about genders anymore. It's about narcissistic, avoidant personalities. They'll break your soul and leave you in tiny, broken, bloody pieces. They'll even spit on you for one last time after they abused your trust and love.
I am really sorry that I can't provide any true solution. I'm so sorry, I don't want to upset you even more.
I know how you feel. The feeling of craving to be loved.

The only thing I can think of is that we should try to find men (and women) who THINK. People who see more than the surface. Who doesn't only focus on money, money, money, money, career, career, the neighbors, the workplace, etc, but people who are awaken. I don't know, maybe none of this makes sense, I'm sorry.

Do not give them your entire being, because most likely they'll abuse your trust. And always, always trust your gut. The moment where you feel that "uh, there's something wrong with this dude, is he lying now, is this manipulation? am I being too sensitive?" is the exact moment where you should yeet his ass out of your life. Trust your intuition.

@lawlietsph

>I know how you feel. The feeling of craving to be loved

Hearing that is just enough. Thank you for understanding. People think it's so easy to get over someone and move on. If moving on from heartbreak was so easy there would be no such thing as heartbreak.