Venting Still alive

[phoenixx]

I haven't been active on here much lately, I can't even give a reason why.

How am I? Cutting every day, overdosing multiple times a week, thinking and dreaming about suicide, been on and off my meds..guess I'm not doing too good. I actually feel ready to go now. I'm feel done with everything, I'm getting more and more fed up of myself every day. The only problem is, I'm unable to ctb anytime soon. So for now, I'll have to suffer silently while pretending everything is fine until I'm actually able to off myself.

 

[Jean Améry]

That sounds dreadful. Why are you unable to CTB?

 

[21Neberg]

That sounds dreadful. Why are you unable to CTB?

Maybe he lives with his parents and has to wait until he's home alone for long enough to prevent being 'saved'.
Sending strength @Sereg0r you'll get through this

 

[LonelyLight]

Your days sound so painful I'm so sorry your struggling so much right now

 

[phoenixx]

That sounds dreadful. Why are you unable to CTB?

Maybe he lives with his parents and has to wait until he's home alone for long enough to prevent being 'saved'.
Sending strength @Sereg0r you'll get through this

Thank you @21Neberg

I live at home with my parents but I do not want them to find my body so I'm planning on doing it at a hotel. I was going to wait for them to go on holiday this year (which they do every year) so I can leave the house and go to the hotel without anyone noticing I've gone. Thing is, they aren't able to go on holiday this year which is just my luck. There's no way I can leave the house and go to a hotel while they are home. I never leave the house alone (I suffer with anxiety and stuff) and I haven't had any friends for at least 6 years so I can't use that as an excuse either. So I'm stuck until next year when they'll hopefully go away. So yeah, that's why I'm unable to ctb right now

Your days sound so painful I'm so sorry your struggling so much right now

Don't apologise, I probably deserve all this anyway