Starving until GW and CTB by OD

[Brillet]

I'm getting ready to let go of this life. I'm tired of emotions, of feeling numb, of being full, of starving myself, hospitalizations... I won't ever again end up in the psych ward.
I have a personality disorder, depression and eating disorder. I don't want to die fat (I'm gonna post my weight tomorrow). I'm 5'2.5. I'm planning to eat 0-250 cals a day (just so I won't die before losing weight) and after reaching my goal weight (82, BMI 14 ish), I'm gonna commit suicide by OD and slit my wrists. I'm gonna update my "journey" in this thread.

 

[xLosthopex]

I'm in a similar situation, I've had anorexia nervosa for nearly 10 years, been in and out of hospital constantly during this time
My BMI is currently around 16 but plan to get back down to my lowest weight again which was about 35kg(BMI 11) before I plan to ctb with SN
If my ED kills me in the meantime however that's fine too lol

 

[Brillet]

I'm in a similar situation, I've had anorexia nervosa for nearly 10 years, been in and out of hospital constantly during this time
My BMI is currently around 16 but plan to get back down to my lowest weight again which was about 35kg(BMI 11) before I plan to ctb with SN
If my ED kills me in the meantime however that's fine too lol

So sorry you feel this way too. Feel free to msg me if you will ever need to talk <3





Day 1
0 calories. 1.5 hours walk.
I felt awful yesterday. I've cut myself because I just don't care anymore. Life is too hard for me. I can't wait to finally be free.

BMI: 19.1

 

[Brillet]

Day 2
09/07/2020
I ate 281 calories and burned: 453

Day 3
10/07/2020
I'm fasting today.
I stopped taking antidepressants 3 days ago because I will die soon anyway. Only taking olanzapine and agomelatine at night time to be able to fall asleep.

 

[ebt88]

what are you using to od?

 

[Brillet]

what are you using to od?

I have a whole box of antidepressants, sleeping pills, mood stabilizers etc, etc. I don't know if I have enough but I'm planning to ask here if they would work when it's time.
Here's my stash:

 

[ebt88]

It seems you're planning to ingest a random assortment of pills. They may just make you feel sick. Who knows what effect it would have (maybe someone else can advise). Consider getting a proper method if you do intend to ctb.

 

[Soul]

@Brillet, I'm sorry you're struggling with this. I'm anorexic - it's under control, but I know how it feels. Here's a (((hug))) and a recommendation: It would be good to start soon to check out the threads related to ODs in the resource compilation:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/resource-compilation.3/

I don't want you to do anything that will just make your situation worse, so please research this stuff carefully, ok?

 

[EGR92]

Sorry but it won't work

 

[Brillet]

It seems you're planning to ingest a random assortment of pills. They may just make you feel sick. Who knows what effect it would have (maybe someone else can advise). Consider getting a proper method if you do intend to ctb.

Oh, okay. I have about 2-3 months so maybe I'll come up with something else. Thank you

@Brillet, I'm sorry you're struggling with this. I'm anorexic - it's under control, but I know how it feels. Here's a (((hug))) and a recommendation: It would be good to start soon to check out the threads related to ODs in the resource compilation:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/resource-compilation.3/

I don't want you to do anything that will just make your situation worse, so please research this stuff carefully, ok?

Thank you so much <3 I'm gonna check it out.

Sorry but it won't work

That's what I'm afraid of. Thank you. I'm gonna think this through

 

[Living sucks]

I heard all pills should be crushed and dissolved in water
I hope you can find a way to recover rather than ctb .. so sorry it's too much