Venting spite

[asphyxiangel]

idk if anyone remembers one of my last posts in which i said my ex boyfriend had to have hold of my gun because i couldn't be trusted with it , and obviously when we broke up i wanted it back bc our relationship was/is very rocky.

we've been trying to be friends, i guess be civil since then?? but two nights ago he got really mad at me and he told me "i hope you kill yourself honestly" as he left my place lol.. OUCH!!! :D
we haven't spoken since.

obviously i already wanted to do it, but him saying that to me knowing how ive been feeling this last month or so was just as good as him pulling the trigger himself lmfao.

now i kind of want to do it even more just out of spite ? i know you should neverrrr do it over a breakup but like haha you told me to do it and now i did. how do u feel now knowing that was the last thing you ever said to me and now you have to live with that weighing down your conscience :3 :3 :3

am i jus crazy lmfao

 

[PhoenixPX]

I'm very sorry to hear this.
I hope he didn't say this out of nowhere because then this would be fcked. If yoj had an argument before it's highly likely he said it out of anger.
He prob doesn't text you because he is to stubborn to say sorry or he doesn't know how to make it right.
So i hope you don't kys and can make up with him. (First part is most important)

 

[AkaRed]

He is so so so fucked up for saying that. But your feelings towards it make complete sense, and honestly, I'd feel the exact same.

I would hope your situation improves over anything else, and it's probably important to consider the weight that a decision like CTB'ing out of spite would hold. If you would really like that to be your final thoughts. Intentionally trigger yourself to help decide— like thinking "Do I really want to die for him, though?"

As tempting as the idea may present itself in the present, it might not be so tempting maybe a few days from now. I'd give it some thought.

Best wishes

<3

 

[HeavensOpenDoor]

idk if anyone remembers one of my last posts in which i said my ex boyfriend had to have hold of my gun because i couldn't be trusted with it , and obviously when we broke up i wanted it back bc our relationship was/is very rocky.

we've been trying to be friends, i guess be civil since then?? but two nights ago he got really mad at me and he told me "i hope you kill yourself honestly" as he left my place lol.. OUCH!!! :D
we haven't spoken since.

obviously i already wanted to do it, but him saying that to me knowing how ive been feeling this last month or so was just as good as him pulling the trigger himself lmfao.

now i kind of want to do it even more just out of spite ? i know you should neverrrr do it over a breakup but like haha you told me to do it and now i did. how do u feel now knowing that was the last thing you ever said to me and now you have to live with that weighing down your conscience :3 :3 :3

am i jus crazy lmfao

Ummm… yeah no! Don't do that!

 

[INTJme]

My ex-fiancée has wished me dead in the past when I was suicidal, so I kinda get where you're coming from. I believe saying such a thing is more a reflection of them as a person than whatever you did that caused them to say it. So even if they feel guilty after you or me ctb is well-deserved, as harsh as it may sound.

And ofc it goes without saying that nobody should ctb out of spite or because of a heartbreak.

 

[anhedonya]

idk if anyone remembers one of my last posts in which i said my ex boyfriend had to have hold of my gun because i couldn't be trusted with it , and obviously when we broke up i wanted it back bc our relationship was/is very rocky.

we've been trying to be friends, i guess be civil since then?? but two nights ago he got really mad at me and he told me "i hope you kill yourself honestly" as he left my place lol.. OUCH!!! :D
we haven't spoken since.

obviously i already wanted to do it, but him saying that to me knowing how ive been feeling this last month or so was just as good as him pulling the trigger himself lmfao.

now i kind of want to do it even more just out of spite ? i know you should neverrrr do it over a breakup but like haha you told me to do it and now i did. how do u feel now knowing that was the last thing you ever said to me and now you have to live with that weighing down your conscience :3 :3 :3

am i jus crazy lmfao

You're not crazy. It's really horrible that he said that to you knowing full well that you have the capability and possible means. You deserve to be with someone that doesn't speak to you this way even in anger. Anyone who can say that to you doesn't have your best intentions in mind. I know it's easier said than done but please try to consider breaking contact with him. Spite is a very natural reaction to injustice and cruelty. I often felt this way after arguments with one of my family members and made very detailed plans about how to get back at them.

You wouldn't be getting back at him though. Anyone who can speak to you this way in the circumstances you're in does not hold love for you. Whether he meant the statement or not, I don't know, but I know that the one thing that would really hurt him would be to do better than him. I don't mean in just a relationship either, I mean taking care of yourself and existing without him. People like him want you to be dependent and forever chained to what he thinks of you. You are more than this relationship and more than the cruelty he has for you.

I'm sorry you had to hear that. Best of luck.

 

[yxmux]

it's probably not worth it if it *really is* out of spite. i feel like the point of revenge is to feel pleasure from causing suffering to the person who originally caused you suffering. you can't exactly feel that after you're dead (for all we know, at least). i guess the exception would be if you're a psychopath (i.e. extremely cool).

it's another thing if he caused you suffering to the point that you want to die, both to relief yourself of suffering and cause him suffering in addition. take this route if you're a sociopath (i.e. super cool, but not quite extremely cool) /j.

in all seriousness, i'd say don't ctb. revenge ctb is generally always the bad choice since there's not really any case where it would be in the best interest of you or your partner. ctb is usually an act one does with oneself in his or her mind.

ed: added a bit more