So, I do a lot of reading about anything and everything. And as one should, I "compartmentalize" that information and store it away in my memory, not running with any one thing, but trying to solve the mysteries of life - something that seems to be impossible because puzzle pieces appear to have been diliberately hidden (destruction of ancient libraries, "wars" that destroy ruins, artifacts destroyed, etc.)
I've dwelled on all sorts of things things like planet worship, astrology, Saturn being a 2nd fallen sun, mythology (it didn't come from no where), witchcraft, alchemy, ancient Sumeria and other similar civilizations, epic of Gilgamesh and Noah's Ark, all religious texts appearing to point to the same thing, paganism, is God even real? Are we "God"? What does that even mean? Was Jesus just a prophet? " There were giants in those days" Did Jesus perform alchemy? (Water to wine, multiplying bread) Was Moses a Pharaoh? Spirits and souls, are we forever reincarnating into a new body until... Until what? What would be the point? Is the asteroid belt a destroyed planet? Was the "holy grail" inside the pyramid of Egypt which acted as a teleporter and fallen angels came here before their planet exploded? Is this where the Superman story comes from? Were obelisks fast travel waypoints that could be teleported to? Do "Gods people" all need to die to create the "God consciousness" so that God may reveal himself? If we are God, why would we do that? Do any humans anywhere on earth even know with 100% certainty the truth and real history? Or has it been so messed up that not even the Vatican libraries can explain it anymore? Was the kingdom of God really at hand but time froze when Jesus died and we've been in purgatory for 2000 years? If so, how do we stop the cycle? Is Gnosticism the true teaching of Jesus? Did Jesus actually exist? Was Mary actually a virgin?
For me, this is what makes me suicidal. No one will ever know what "this" all is. And it's been 2000 years and nothing, no miracles, no magic, nothing has happened. Just mundane things. Noah supposedly "only" had to preach for 100 years. People have been preaching 20x as long - and nothing. The flood is the only single "supernatural magic trick" that appears to have worldwide proof. Nothing else in the Bible as far as "miracles" go, is provable. There is not going to be some magical rapture, or some magic receding of the sky like a scroll like what is literally thought of, no evidence or proof of "seals" opening. You'd think that something so significant would show up, but nope. Not even blood moons line up or make sense. It all seems like nonsense. Is God in the Bible actually satan and satan God? The old testament God certainly seems like satan. The Annunaki seem to make sense here. What's the deal with offering foreskins? Offering your child to "God"? Committing genocide - multiple times. (We're the Natives a lost tribe of Israel?) What were " Satan's" crimes? He offered humans knowledge and offered food to a starving man - again, no proof of any of it. If I were the "real" satan, I would confuse the religious texts, putting in some truths and disguising Lies and forcing people to worship me. At this point in life, what hope is there? Did revelations already happen but time "froze"? How can that be if no " supernatural magic" has ever happened? Even if events in the Bible are true, they can all be explained rationally. The parting red sea by wind for example. Interesting that all "miracles" were performed by men (Gods?) And not by God. Elijah summoned fire. Moses split the sea. Jesus walked on water. And more. Again, none of it provable, conveniently.
My ultimate conclusion is always this - to give up searching because no one knows, and even if you did know absolutely everything there is to know with 100% certainty that nothing would happen. There would be no "Ureka!" Moment where your conscience awakens and then your body drops dead and your soul or spirit, whatever, goes to "Heaven". Literally nothing would happen even if you knew everything. And no one would believe you if you did. So I'm just going to play video games in the mean time and have the backup plan to kill myself should the worldwide government take over get so bad that this is the best option.
My final thought is that if revelations is a truth, is that my understanding is that America and consequently everywhere else will fall, " mystery Babylon is fallen!" And that we are all - worldwide - to flee to the middle East to escape the beast for one final stand. I would think there would be a "dream" that everyone on earth would have because only a dream can reach everyone. 99.99% won't listen and will die brutally or be enslaved to the beast government system. Those who have ears let them hear. Those who have eyes let them see. If this were true, where in the middle East would we go? I know nothing about the middle East. But I have come to the (most likely - who knows) conclusion that Israel is not the good guy. It is more likely that the ones surrounding Israel are the "good guys". But " God" does not ever perform magic tricks that cannot be explained in a rational way - how convenient - so a worldwide dream might be unlikely? 2000 years and nothing happens. The "bad guys" are about to rule like no one has ever dreamed possible. Starlink, 5G, digital currency, concentration camps. Is the Bible real or not? Why 2000 years and nothing, yet we are approaching a climax... Or are we? Will we go another 2000 years?
But who knows anything. Who cares. I just know that I can't stand the mundane cycle of life knowing what I don't know. And looking around in a crowded place knowing that everyone here has a blank look on their face, worried about literally nothing, all focused on the material and physical and have no intelligent thought in their heads. Wanting so badly to go out and " preach" something - the truth - but can't and won't go out and say anything because I don't know. I have actually come to hate my home and would, really, gladly leave everything including my money if "God" would enlighten me to absolute truth. But then again, Noah (supposedly, no proof) preached for 100 years and not a single person listened. So what would be the point? I just want out. But I can't because I have a child.
I've dwelled on all sorts of things things like planet worship, astrology, Saturn being a 2nd fallen sun, mythology (it didn't come from no where), witchcraft, alchemy, ancient Sumeria and other similar civilizations, epic of Gilgamesh and Noah's Ark, all religious texts appearing to point to the same thing, paganism, is God even real? Are we "God"? What does that even mean? Was Jesus just a prophet? " There were giants in those days" Did Jesus perform alchemy? (Water to wine, multiplying bread) Was Moses a Pharaoh? Spirits and souls, are we forever reincarnating into a new body until... Until what? What would be the point? Is the asteroid belt a destroyed planet? Was the "holy grail" inside the pyramid of Egypt which acted as a teleporter and fallen angels came here before their planet exploded? Is this where the Superman story comes from? Were obelisks fast travel waypoints that could be teleported to? Do "Gods people" all need to die to create the "God consciousness" so that God may reveal himself? If we are God, why would we do that? Do any humans anywhere on earth even know with 100% certainty the truth and real history? Or has it been so messed up that not even the Vatican libraries can explain it anymore? Was the kingdom of God really at hand but time froze when Jesus died and we've been in purgatory for 2000 years? If so, how do we stop the cycle? Is Gnosticism the true teaching of Jesus? Did Jesus actually exist? Was Mary actually a virgin?
For me, this is what makes me suicidal. No one will ever know what "this" all is. And it's been 2000 years and nothing, no miracles, no magic, nothing has happened. Just mundane things. Noah supposedly "only" had to preach for 100 years. People have been preaching 20x as long - and nothing. The flood is the only single "supernatural magic trick" that appears to have worldwide proof. Nothing else in the Bible as far as "miracles" go, is provable. There is not going to be some magical rapture, or some magic receding of the sky like a scroll like what is literally thought of, no evidence or proof of "seals" opening. You'd think that something so significant would show up, but nope. Not even blood moons line up or make sense. It all seems like nonsense. Is God in the Bible actually satan and satan God? The old testament God certainly seems like satan. The Annunaki seem to make sense here. What's the deal with offering foreskins? Offering your child to "God"? Committing genocide - multiple times. (We're the Natives a lost tribe of Israel?) What were " Satan's" crimes? He offered humans knowledge and offered food to a starving man - again, no proof of any of it. If I were the "real" satan, I would confuse the religious texts, putting in some truths and disguising Lies and forcing people to worship me. At this point in life, what hope is there? Did revelations already happen but time "froze"? How can that be if no " supernatural magic" has ever happened? Even if events in the Bible are true, they can all be explained rationally. The parting red sea by wind for example. Interesting that all "miracles" were performed by men (Gods?) And not by God. Elijah summoned fire. Moses split the sea. Jesus walked on water. And more. Again, none of it provable, conveniently.
My ultimate conclusion is always this - to give up searching because no one knows, and even if you did know absolutely everything there is to know with 100% certainty that nothing would happen. There would be no "Ureka!" Moment where your conscience awakens and then your body drops dead and your soul or spirit, whatever, goes to "Heaven". Literally nothing would happen even if you knew everything. And no one would believe you if you did. So I'm just going to play video games in the mean time and have the backup plan to kill myself should the worldwide government take over get so bad that this is the best option.
My final thought is that if revelations is a truth, is that my understanding is that America and consequently everywhere else will fall, " mystery Babylon is fallen!" And that we are all - worldwide - to flee to the middle East to escape the beast for one final stand. I would think there would be a "dream" that everyone on earth would have because only a dream can reach everyone. 99.99% won't listen and will die brutally or be enslaved to the beast government system. Those who have ears let them hear. Those who have eyes let them see. If this were true, where in the middle East would we go? I know nothing about the middle East. But I have come to the (most likely - who knows) conclusion that Israel is not the good guy. It is more likely that the ones surrounding Israel are the "good guys". But " God" does not ever perform magic tricks that cannot be explained in a rational way - how convenient - so a worldwide dream might be unlikely? 2000 years and nothing happens. The "bad guys" are about to rule like no one has ever dreamed possible. Starlink, 5G, digital currency, concentration camps. Is the Bible real or not? Why 2000 years and nothing, yet we are approaching a climax... Or are we? Will we go another 2000 years?
But who knows anything. Who cares. I just know that I can't stand the mundane cycle of life knowing what I don't know. And looking around in a crowded place knowing that everyone here has a blank look on their face, worried about literally nothing, all focused on the material and physical and have no intelligent thought in their heads. Wanting so badly to go out and " preach" something - the truth - but can't and won't go out and say anything because I don't know. I have actually come to hate my home and would, really, gladly leave everything including my money if "God" would enlighten me to absolute truth. But then again, Noah (supposedly, no proof) preached for 100 years and not a single person listened. So what would be the point? I just want out. But I can't because I have a child.
