Spiritual Awakening and Realizing the Pointlessness of Pain and Life

[etherealgoddess]

I am spiritual but after having a huge spiritual awakening, I've lost interest in life. I just want to be connected to the source again. The only thing that causes pain is life. Even if you're rich or beautiful (me as a super high class, pretty girl with gifted intellect and social skills and maturity), the fact you're in a system of hierarchy in all aspects such as academics, money, beauty is so stupid because it's the system that makes us depressed, not being ugly or poor. And everyone is obsessed with climbing that pointless hierarchy. Of course, you can say, "What's the point? Then live your life not caring." Then what follows is isolation. We have interconnectedness spirituality but not consciously. If I tell people about my thoughts, people are like, "Wtf?"

Also, you get to choose if you want to be reincarnated again. If you're suiciding out of insecurity that you can live a good life, your soul might end up reincarnating in an easier body if it wants to live but not have so much pressure, but in the end, you get to choose. You are your soul. I'm extremely spiritual and if I told you about how it's real, I have lots of examples, you'd believe me. It would just be annoying to type it all out.

I can imagine, though, that this has to be my last life. I realize I couldn't give a shit to live, and it's pointless. I know I could manifest everything I want. I've been able to manifest huge desires instantly. But you realize it's just useless goal after goal, rollercoaster after rollercoaster. And love and hope are from the source, and evil relates to the need for survival. Would there really be an evil person if everyone was physically and emotionally immortal? No. People are only evil when they can interfere with others' ability to survive.

That's my philosophy about life… great to mature and spiritually evolve, but man it sucks. This guy from a near-death experience said that he wanted to remember the source and what it is before entering his physical body, and the source was like, "Yeah, sure, but it messes up your ability to have a physical life." It sure does, man…

 

[Forever Sleep]

Interesting. Why do you think you chose your current incarnation? What do you suppose you were hoping to experience and- did it work?

 

[etherealgoddess]

Interesting. Why do you think you chose your current incarnation? What do you suppose you were hoping to experience and- did it work?

Very funny that you ask this. I've read into my past life, and a friend of mine also did. I was a Native American man in the 1300s. I lived a peaceful life. I was a tall, healthy, slim-built man. I spent my entire life trying to understand spirituality. I was basically trying to find out more and more about spirituality, but I never felt satisfied. I ended up having no wife and no kids. I ended up praying that at least in my next life that I could fully understand the depths of spirituality. That wish has definitely been granted, lol. I feel extremely satisfied with life. I know I could get everything if I wanted. It's boring and just painful sitting around idle. I'm done with it.

 

[Pluto]

It's true that life is ultimately pointless. There's a Bible quote that goes "I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind." The First Noble Truth also cover this.

At a more relative level, most NDEs seem to indicate that there is a particular mission here, yet people are often given no guidance whatsoever over what they are supposed to do.

Awakening is supposed to be the first stage in dissolving the sense of self that appears to be separate from source to begin with. When the process is complete, the 'me' with all of these issues is no longer there and life proceeds by itself according to its own script.

 

[etherealgoddess]

It's true that life is ultimately pointless. There's a Bible quote that goes "I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind." The First Noble Truth also cover this.

At a more relative level, most NDEs seem to indicate that there is a particular mission here, yet people are often given no guidance whatsoever over what they are supposed to do.

Awakening is supposed to be the first stage in dissolving the sense of self that appears to be separate from source to begin with. When the process is complete, the 'me' with all of these issues is no longer there and life proceeds by itself according to its own script.

In the end, the point is to evolve. But evolving is pointless in itself.

It's difficult to really detach from the self completely unless without death. I understand exactly what you're saying. Sure, you can be present and take life as it comes. But it's tiring because at times, we lack self awareness and the ego comes back temporarily to put us on an emotional rollercoaster. And that's what it ends up being. A pointless emotional rollercoaster to evolve but the point of evolving is pointless as well.

 

[Pluto]

Evolution is pointless by definition because there is no particular end point. There is just an endless succession of events that come and go for no apparent reason.

The highest attainment for an individual is oneness, but oneness is already the case anyway since the individual is itself illusory. So nothing of lasting value can ever be created as such.

Spirituality is often sold as a means of overcoming unpleasant feelings or achieving unconditional peace. But there is definitely a dark side and a price to pay. In fact, the price to pay is everything. We have to face the fact that everything we could ever hold dear is illusory, and everything that makes us special is taken away.

All control is lost, and seen to have never been. The notion of understanding anything, or having any fixed positions, or any identity to be proud of is all lost. Beyond all this is facing death itself, and being absorbed into the void. It is very easy for suicidal ideation to arise along this path without context or guidance.

Suzanne Chang has been speaks at length about this dark side of enlightenment while chronicling her own journey. I follow her regularly as her work resonates here.

 

[etherealgoddess]

Evolution is pointless by definition because there is no particular end point. There is just an endless succession of events that come and go for no apparent reason.

The highest attainment for an individual is oneness, but oneness is already the case anyway since the individual is itself illusory. So nothing of lasting value can ever be created as such.

Spirituality is often sold as a means of overcoming unpleasant feelings or achieving unconditional peace. But there is definitely a dark side and a price to pay. In fact, the price to pay is everything. We have to face the fact that everything we could ever hold dear is illusory, and everything that makes us special is taken away.

All control is lost, and seen to have never been. The notion of understanding anything, or having any fixed positions, or any identity to be proud of is all lost. Beyond all this is facing death itself, and being absorbed into the void. It is very easy for suicidal ideation to arise along this path without context or guidance.

Suzanne Chang has been speaks at length about this dark side of enlightenment while chronicling her own journey. I follow her regularly as her work resonates here.

Thank you SO SO much. I was trying so hard to find others who could relate.

 

[SpiritualDeath]

I'm not spiritual but I have reached the exact same conclusion as you (that there's absolutely no point in this pain with life. Life's unnecessary in the first place. All of what we hold dear is actually just ideas, stories and illusions (with no solid ground). It's insane that yet we're still perpetuating life through procreation). That's why I'm leaning towards promortalism and efilism in general (despite the imperfection of these ideas in practice).

I'm open to all possibility despite being an atheist (since there's no way to actually know what's after death (since I'm not dead yet)), and I think that the physical world being the whole of this manifestation is probably the best for us (as sentient life), since in this case at least this madness is temporary and there's freedom for all of us in the end. Reincarnation with no awareness of it is the worst. It's even worse than eternal heaven and hell. Are you saying you believe that we get to choose not to be reincarnated? How exactly do you think this can work?

 

[Bacon and Baseball]

In the end, the point is to evolve. But evolving is pointless in itself.

It's difficult to really detach from the self completely unless without death. I understand exactly what you're saying. Sure, you can be present and take life as it comes. But it's tiring because at times, we lack self awareness and the ego comes back temporarily to put us on an emotional rollercoaster. And that's what it ends up being. A pointless emotional rollercoaster to evolve but the point of evolving is pointless as well.

it certainly seems pointless in that we barely even know what the hell is going on in this crazy world, so not sure how we're all evolving anymore. Almost seems like we're devolving or heading in the wrong direction haha

 

[Per Ardua Ad Astra]

Evolution is pointless by definition because there is no particular end point. There is just an endless succession of events that come and go for no apparent reason.

The highest attainment for an individual is oneness, but oneness is already the case anyway since the individual is itself illusory. So nothing of lasting value can ever be created as such.

Spirituality is often sold as a means of overcoming unpleasant feelings or achieving unconditional peace. But there is definitely a dark side and a price to pay. In fact, the price to pay is everything. We have to face the fact that everything we could ever hold dear is illusory, and everything that makes us special is taken away.

All control is lost, and seen to have never been. The notion of understanding anything, or having any fixed positions, or any identity to be proud of is all lost. Beyond all this is facing death itself, and being absorbed into the void. It is very easy for suicidal ideation to arise along this path without context or guidance.

Suzanne Chang has been speaks at length about this dark side of enlightenment while chronicling her own journey. I follow her regularly as her work resonates here.

Thank you for this thread @etherealgoddess , et al


@Pluto - Thank you for your post + Ms Chang's video.

Very glad to have found Ms Chang + deeply resonated with this video + her other video titled : "My truth was forced out... and it became obvious that I never existed"

+

I was curious to hear / see via this video Transcript - as copied below : " it was always this - it was always just God ... "

I tried checking Ms Chang's website + also googling *Ms Chang + God* - but nothing has come up to point to any other content referring to Ms Chang's concept of " God " in the context of her journey.

@Pluto - Would you happen to know if Ms Chang has other videos / info - where she addresses her concept of " God " ?

If not, no worries + very grateful to you for always offering all the insight that you do here.


*Video ( as posted ) :
"The true cost of the end of suffering is rarely shared"

*Transcript:

*14:25
it was always this it was always just

*14:29
God

14:31
is not an entity entity or

14:34
thing

 

[hellispink]

I have also been through my spiritual awakening. Life itself is very pointless, not because of the fact of being alive, its people who make it very miserable. Their standards, their opinions, their rules, all related , people are very far from the center. Living here is not fun much more as a spiritual being

 

[TheSource]

I've also recently begun my spiritual journey (as I'm sure you can tell by my username and custom title). I find that it's having the opposite effect on me, personally. I'm starting to think of life more as a game or a movie or a book. I know it's useless, but the point of it is not to be useful, just to get immersed in the setting and content. I'm trying to continue playing the game, since at the end of the day, it's not going to matter.

It's like a more advanced Minecraft for me. I know it's a game, but the other players in my life do not. The game doesn't matter to me, but I know it matters to them. They'll log out eventually, but until then, I hope I can play a little longer for them.

Maybe I can play through another round. Another day.

I'm not sure I'll be able to keep going. I can't really escape the torment of my mind. I'm 99% committed to CTB-ing, I just don't have all the resources I need yet. Until then, I at least want to try to change my mind. It won't hurt me to be happy and enjoy life, if I can figure it out.

That's just my perspective on it, though.

 

[sserafim]

Interesting, do you have any insights or ideas on how to figure out your past life? I tried past life regression but I didn't see anything. And why would someone choose to be born neurodivergent (Asperger's/autism and ADHD)? Are you saying that I chose to be this way? Is it karma from a past life or something?

 

[TheSource]

Are you saying you believe that we get to choose not to be reincarnated? How exactly do you think this can work?

A lot of people who have had NDEs say that we chose to be here, and that we can choose to come back or choose whatever reality we want to create. Or to join a pre-created reality. They're in agreement that we're all Gods and fractals of the same consciousness.

If you're interested, I'd recommend looking into David Bullock. He had two NDEs, and got a lot of downloads of information about the afterlife. In one of his interviews ("Earth: 3D to 5D" on YouTube), he answers plenty of really specific questions. There's a lot of other NDEs which have the same answers to many questions. He's the most informed I've heard, though.

 

[Lookoutbelow]

Interesting, do you have any insights or ideas on how to figure out your past life? I tried past life regression but I didn't see anything. And why would someone choose to be born neurodivergent (Asperger's/autism and ADHD)? Are you saying that I chose to be this way? Is it karma from a past life or something?

By no means take anything I say as fact. If you believe in reincarnation then you may have chosen your particular struggles/challenges. I saw something that resonated with me that says we choose different challenges each time until we eventually learn to deal with them. We don't have to come back, but most of us choose to in order to enhance our empathy and connection in the spirit world. The more challenges we face here the more evolved our soul/spirit becomes until we no longer have to reincarnate. If we CTB we do not have a choice. We must come back to complete our challenges. I guess I'm coming back because I'm definitely going to CTB. Just one of millions of theories.

 

[Pluto]

@Pluto - Would you happen to know if Ms Chang has other videos / info - where she addresses her concept of " God " ?

I don't have a specific reference (but can let you know if I stumble across one), but I seem to recall Suzanne talking about God as one of the things that disappeared along her path. Western teachers tend to use the word God sparingly because it has all sorts of baggage.

Speaking more broadly, the concept of God is very similar to the concept of self in Eastern philosophy. From their ultimate enlightened perspectives, Buddhist masters say that there is no self (or God), just the void. Meanwhile, Hindus say that everything is the capital-S Self (or God). And yet they are talking about the exact same thing. Rather than saying 'everything' or 'nothing', it can be more digestible to use the term no-thing; God is not a particular thing.

Theologian Neale Donald Walsch has described the word God as synonymous with life. From this perspective, the great revelation is that you are life (or God) itself, but not a particular form or entity. A grand illusion has been created and the name of the game is to find that ineffable essence in your own direct, permanent experience. It's always hidden in plain sight.

What can be helpful is talking about what God is not. Obviously we are past the point of assigning God a gender, even though the male pronoun is sometimes used since saying 'it' doesn't have the most reverential vibe. And while it is very helpful for many people to conceptualise a mighty being who they can pray to, request help from or offer devotion to, there will come a time when it is clear that you are alone - alone as the entire cosmos.

The Hindu tradition features many Gods, and all have the purpose of serving as a bridge. Because the true 'God' (or 'Self') is contentless and cannot be conceptualised by the mind, a visual and visceral concept of, say, Shiva can provide a practical pathway of devotion and surrender that eventually leads to merging back into the source. I think Ramana Maharshi said that on the pathway of dissolving the ego through surrender, Ishwara (God) is the last thing to vanish. What remains cannot be spoken of.

 

[sserafim]

By no means take anything I say as fact. If you believe in reincarnation then you may have chosen your particular struggles/challenges. I saw something that resonated with me that says we choose different challenges each time until we eventually learn to deal with them. We don't have to come back, but most of us choose to in order to enhance our empathy and connection in the spirit world. The more challenges we face here the more evolved our soul/spirit becomes until we no longer have to reincarnate. If we CTB we do not have a choice. We must come back to complete our challenges. I guess I'm coming back because I'm definitely going to CTB. Just one of millions of theories.

Yeah I'm definitely gonna ctb as well. My challenges are unsolvable in this lifetime. They literally actively make me want to ctb. Ugh I don't want to come back here tho…and be given the same challenges

 

[AlouA]

I am spiritual but after having a huge spiritual awakening, I've lost interest in life. I just want to be connected to the source again. The only thing that causes pain is life. Even if you're rich or beautiful (me as a super high class, pretty girl with gifted intellect and social skills and maturity), the fact you're in a system of hierarchy in all aspects such as academics, money, beauty is so stupid because it's the system that makes us depressed, not being ugly or poor. And everyone is obsessed with climbing that pointless hierarchy. Of course, you can say, "What's the point? Then live your life not caring." Then what follows is isolation. We have interconnectedness spirituality but not consciously. If I tell people about my thoughts, people are like, "Wtf?"

Also, you get to choose if you want to be reincarnated again. If you're suiciding out of insecurity that you can live a good life, your soul might end up reincarnating in an easier body if it wants to live but not have so much pressure, but in the end, you get to choose. You are your soul. I'm extremely spiritual and if I told you about how it's real, I have lots of examples, you'd believe me. It would just be annoying to type it all out.

I can imagine, though, that this has to be my last life. I realize I couldn't give a shit to live, and it's pointless. I know I could manifest everything I want. I've been able to manifest huge desires instantly. But you realize it's just useless goal after goal, rollercoaster after rollercoaster. And love and hope are from the source, and evil relates to the need for survival. Would there really be an evil person if everyone was physically and emotionally immortal? No. People are only evil when they can interfere with others' ability to survive.

That's my philosophy about life… great to mature and spiritually evolve, but man it sucks. This guy from a near-death experience said that he wanted to remember the source and what it is before entering his physical body, and the source was like, "Yeah, sure, but it messes up your ability to have a physical life." It sure does, man…

i like the concept of being able to choose your incarnation

 

[Lookoutbelow]

A lot of people who have had NDEs say that we chose to be here, and that we can choose to come back or choose whatever reality we want to create. Or to join a pre-created reality. They're in agreement that we're all Gods and fractals of the same consciousness.

If you're interested, I'd recommend looking into David Bullock. He had two NDEs, and got a lot of downloads of information about the afterlife. In one of his interviews ("Earth: 3D to 5D" on YouTube), he answers plenty of really specific questions. There's a lot of other NDEs which have the same answers to many questions. He's the most informed I've heard, though.

Yeah I'm definitely gonna ctb as well. My challenges are unsolvable in this lifetime. They literally actively make me want to ctb. Ugh I don't want to come back here tho…and be given the same challenges

I know right. I better try to contact my spirit guide before I die and tell him/her if I chose this shit again don't let me. Just a little humor in our dark times.

 

[sserafim]

i like the concept of being able to choose your incarnation

If I was able to choose my incarnation then I'm an idiot. Ugh I can't believe that I willingly chose a life of Asperger's/autism and ADHD, and never being able to fit into society which makes my life miserable on so many levels. I guess my soul is a moron then. Like why would I willingly choose a life of suffering for myself? I just don't understand.

 

[Pluto]

Like why would I willingly choose a life of suffering for myself? I just don't understand.

I understand your predicament as I feel the same way. But from what I have gathered, there is an answer to the question. It has been said that people with good karma are born into reasonably privileged lifetimes (health, finances, education, etc.) but better still is a lifetime that leads to an authentic spiritual path.

Acute suffering is said to be one of the most powerful drivers of the awakening process. Some people debate this, as it is equally possible to arrive at a spiritual path by having a life of indulging in the best of everything, yet still wind up feeling dissatisfied and thus turning to spiritual teachers for guidance. Those people tend to do well, but nonetheless, people who find themselves unable to achieve a comfortable existence have an innate advantage. There's an Australian teacher named Shar Jason who was actively suicidal while on this path, and she said it made it easy to go through various ego-death stages since she was ready to die anyway!

 

[sserafim]

I understand your predicament as I feel the same way. But from what I have gathered, there is an answer to the question. It has been said that people with good karma are born into reasonably privileged lifetimes (health, finances, education, etc.) but better still is a lifetime that leads to an authentic spiritual path.

Acute suffering is said to be one of the most powerful drivers of the awakening process. Some people debate this, as it is equally possible to arrive at a spiritual path by having a life of indulging in the best of everything, yet still wind up feeling dissatisfied and thus turning to spiritual teachers for guidance. Those people tend to do well, but nonetheless, people who find themselves unable to achieve a comfortable existence have an innate advantage. There's an Australian teacher named Shar Jason who was actively suicidal while on this path, and she said it made it easy to go through various ego-death stages since she was ready to die anyway!

The thing is that I was born into a life with good finances and education though, the only thing holding me back is my neurodivergence. Idk why the universe wanted me to be born this way, I had all the tools for success but unfortunately I had to have this pesky neurodivergence. It's like the universe doesn't want me to succeed

 

[Pluto]

The thing is that I was born into a life with good finances and education though, the only thing holding me back is my neurodivergence. Idk why the universe wanted me to be born this way, I had all the tools for success but unfortunately I had to have this pesky neurodivergence. It's like the universe doesn't want me to succeed

Neurodivergence that is adequately supported is not too debilitating. It would take a much deeper dive to figure out what has happened. That said, in the context of this topic, 'success' is a lot harder to define. Clearly people choose challenges at various levels and we are not all here to be on easy street.

I suspect there would be a good number of neurodivergent people on the path regardless, as it can be a situation that causes a lot of suffering. I'm reminded of a time when another teacher I follow did an interview with someone who identifies as autistic.