Speaking your mind before/after CTB

[lululoo]

Do you have anything you really want to express your opinion on to someone in your life but you can't while alive? Do you plan to say it before you go or in your suicide note?

I mean something about them, not about you.

I have one thing. Someone in my family is trying to adopt a child, but she and her husband are so dysfunctional. I would love to gently express my opinion that they need to NOT ADOPT A FUCKING CHILD, YOU MANIACS! But probably my opinion would be disregarded because suicide = crazy person = invalid opinion. Also people do what they want to do. Also lululoo = bitter woman = ignore her. Still, I sometimes feel I should do something before I go, to save a child from a crappy childhood. I've even wondered if I have a moral obligation to intervene somehow (like alert the adoption agency)? I don't want to go into detail about their problems here, but they really shouldn't be raising kids.

 

[Cookiedough8956]

Im prob gonna say it in my suicide note...i dont like confrontations.

 

[Ldog9]

@lululoo i oddly have something thats extremely similar to your situation. im unsure how to express my concerns as well. for my situation i dont think putting it into a note would be beneficial. not sure about yours, is it something you can anonymously send? adoption agencies are pretty thorough, they could pick up the warning signs during the normal process though.

if its something violent related or worse id consider sending an anonymous note for the agency to investigate more thoroughly.

 

[odette]

Do you have anything you really want to express your opinion on to someone in your life but you can't while alive? Do you plan to say it before you go or in your suicide note?

I mean something about them, not about you.

I have one thing. Someone in my family is trying to adopt a child, but she and her husband are so dysfunctional. I would love to gently express my opinion that they need to NOT ADOPT A FUCKING CHILD, YOU MANIACS! But probably my opinion would be disregarded because suicide = crazy person = invalid opinion. Also people do what they want to do. Also lululoo = bitter woman = ignore her. Still, I sometimes feel I should do something before I go, to save a child from a crappy childhood. I've even wondered if I have a moral obligation to intervene somehow (like alert the adoption agency)? I don't want to go into detail about their problems here, but they really shouldn't be raising kids.

If you do choose to stick around, you could help that kid enormously by having a positive relationship with them.

 

[JustAboutDone]

It's very tricky I can imagine but I can see you care very much that a poor child is not brought up by a dysfunctional household so its definitely worth saying something before you go. They may not realise how bad they are and that they need help.

If you leave it in a note, your message might get lost in the general grieving of your departure

 

[lululoo]

@lululoo i oddly have something thats extremely similar to your situation. im unsure how to express my concerns as well. for my situation i dont think putting it into a note would be beneficial. not sure about yours, is it something you can anonymously send? adoption agencies are pretty thorough, they could pick up the warning signs during the normal process though.

if its something violent related or worse id consider sending an anonymous note for the agency to investigate more thoroughly.

I don't even know what agency they are using. I'd have to find that out. Not sure if you can alert them anonymously.

 

[lululoo]

If you do choose to stick around, you could help that kid enormously by having a positive relationship with them.

I don't think so. I would not be able to have a positive relationship with any child. I have nothing to give.

 

[lululoo]

It's very tricky I can imagine but I can see you care very much that a poor child is not brought up by a dysfunctional household so its definitely worth saying something before you go. They may not realise how bad they are and that they need help.

If you leave it in a note, your message might get lost in the general grieving of your departure

Yes. It really is out of caring, not spite.
Maybe I will leave it in a note just to have said my piece, even if it is futile.

 

[lululoo]

I realized too late that I posted this in the wrong forum. It's not really off topic.

 

[odette]

I don't think so. I would not be able to have a positive relationship with any child. I have nothing to give.

The fact that you understand that your family members are dysfunctional is a huge thing to give. Imagine that child in their dysfunctional family and nobody understands, nobody acknowledges that something is wrong. Don't you think it would mean the world to that child if they could go and talk to someone who understands?

 

[lost_soul83]

Do you have anything you really want to express your opinion on to someone in your life but you can't while alive? Do you plan to say it before you go or in your suicide note?

I mean something about them, not about you.

I have one thing. Someone in my family is trying to adopt a child, but she and her husband are so dysfunctional. I would love to gently express my opinion that they need to NOT ADOPT A FUCKING CHILD, YOU MANIACS! But probably my opinion would be disregarded because suicide = crazy person = invalid opinion. Also people do what they want to do. Also lululoo = bitter woman = ignore her. Still, I sometimes feel I should do something before I go, to save a child from a crappy childhood. I've even wondered if I have a moral obligation to intervene somehow (like alert the adoption agency)? I don't want to go into detail about their problems here, but they really shouldn't be raising kids.

All else aside, you really should say something to the adoption agency about these people. If you have the power to save a child from a shitty-ass childhood, you really should.

 

[Ldog9]

adoption agencies conduct a home study as well as interviews with family members. theres a possibilty they could interview you or even find the issue themselves. if not, you could easily innocently ask what agency they're using in conversation. then its just sending an anonymous email or letter.

also dont sell yourself so short @lululoo i believe you have more to offer than you think. the fact you care this much is revealing in itself in a good way! you're compassionate and caring, that means a lot.