four_walls_girl
En-BEDded in reality
- Nov 18, 2024
- 62
Obviously it's not the same as the proper thing, but I tried the first part of Evelyn's hanging guide by putting a bathrobe around my neck and pulling up hard while exhaling then inhaling and holding my breath
I think I would've passed out if I held my breath for longer, but I let myself breathe and was basically just straining and hurting my neck with no reasonable outcome cause I'm not planning to actually hang today.
Anyways, some stuff I discovered that's probably already been talked about here but I thought I'd document my half assed experiment for myself:
Random stuff.
-I have to get my gag reflex out of the way first. I really REALLY can't handle things near on my neck, never could even as a little kid, I had to keep chewing gum on me so I could wear my school uniform. Even the thought of stuff on my neck makes me gag so of course I've been avoiding even the concept of hanging.
But if I allow myself to throw up and gag first, I then found out I can continue with putting the rope on my neck under my chin like the guide says and tightening it without any problems. The second time I tried it I threw up again. The third time I almost passed out but breathed before I could, no gagging that time.
I don't want to chew on something because that's stupid and I'll probably just end up choking on it. So I'll just have to get over it.
Important.
-you really do need a TIGHT knot. Bathrobes are tricky cause the friction is really bad and it ended up getting stuck so it couldn't tighten any further, I was able to loosen it quickly though. Vise grip says slip knots are the most dangerous knot to do and yeah I can definitely see that now. Hoping if I do ever hang I'll either pass out and ctb if it does ever get stuck.
-head pressure is weird, my vision was blurring but not fading like I was gonna pass out, again I know I've kinda half assed this one so maybe it'd actually happen if I tried better and longer. I can still kinda feel it 10 minutes later, but it feels more like when you have a headcold or a headache after a long day.
-neck hurts, ouchie, and that's just from me pulling as tight as I can with my own hands, I'm definitely weaker than the average person so I need to be prepared for hurting a lot even if it's only for a couple seconds. Especially cause I'm fat and it'd be 10x heavier pressure. I think that could actually work in my favour though.
Other stuff/ self reminders.
-Gotta tie my hair up high and out of the way of the rope
I just had mine down for this and it got caught in the knot :/ I genuinely thought I was either gonna have to cut the knot or my hair off for a bit but I managed to pull it out eventually.
- while I was preparing it I got a thought in my head/ si of "I have to tell mum I'm gonna try to ctb", even though I sorta knew I wasn't gonna go through with it? Despite some part of me having the urge to actually do it. So I have to do this while I'm fully alone with no phone nearby to get rid of outside influence.
This was just kinda on a whim. I've been getting hanging visual intrusive thoughts so I thought I'd just humor it on a random Sunday night. I have no idea how it's going to go once I actually try it. I hope I don't bail out as quickly as I did here. Testing out a method actually feels kind embarrassing for some reason.
I think I would've passed out if I held my breath for longer, but I let myself breathe and was basically just straining and hurting my neck with no reasonable outcome cause I'm not planning to actually hang today.
Anyways, some stuff I discovered that's probably already been talked about here but I thought I'd document my half assed experiment for myself:
Random stuff.
-I have to get my gag reflex out of the way first. I really REALLY can't handle things near on my neck, never could even as a little kid, I had to keep chewing gum on me so I could wear my school uniform. Even the thought of stuff on my neck makes me gag so of course I've been avoiding even the concept of hanging.
But if I allow myself to throw up and gag first, I then found out I can continue with putting the rope on my neck under my chin like the guide says and tightening it without any problems. The second time I tried it I threw up again. The third time I almost passed out but breathed before I could, no gagging that time.
I don't want to chew on something because that's stupid and I'll probably just end up choking on it. So I'll just have to get over it.
Important.
-you really do need a TIGHT knot. Bathrobes are tricky cause the friction is really bad and it ended up getting stuck so it couldn't tighten any further, I was able to loosen it quickly though. Vise grip says slip knots are the most dangerous knot to do and yeah I can definitely see that now. Hoping if I do ever hang I'll either pass out and ctb if it does ever get stuck.
-head pressure is weird, my vision was blurring but not fading like I was gonna pass out, again I know I've kinda half assed this one so maybe it'd actually happen if I tried better and longer. I can still kinda feel it 10 minutes later, but it feels more like when you have a headcold or a headache after a long day.
-neck hurts, ouchie, and that's just from me pulling as tight as I can with my own hands, I'm definitely weaker than the average person so I need to be prepared for hurting a lot even if it's only for a couple seconds. Especially cause I'm fat and it'd be 10x heavier pressure. I think that could actually work in my favour though.
Other stuff/ self reminders.
-Gotta tie my hair up high and out of the way of the rope
I just had mine down for this and it got caught in the knot :/ I genuinely thought I was either gonna have to cut the knot or my hair off for a bit but I managed to pull it out eventually.
- while I was preparing it I got a thought in my head/ si of "I have to tell mum I'm gonna try to ctb", even though I sorta knew I wasn't gonna go through with it? Despite some part of me having the urge to actually do it. So I have to do this while I'm fully alone with no phone nearby to get rid of outside influence.
This was just kinda on a whim. I've been getting hanging visual intrusive thoughts so I thought I'd just humor it on a random Sunday night. I have no idea how it's going to go once I actually try it. I hope I don't bail out as quickly as I did here. Testing out a method actually feels kind embarrassing for some reason.
