BurningLights

BurningLights

He killed himself with his own mind
Jul 2, 2018
709
I fear my descent into madness has once again pushed everyone away. I do apologise for my behaviour these last few months, there is no excuse, I've just lost the ability to feel any connection .

I've become cold, uncaring and I'm sure that has come across, so again I apologise, ive been so fixated on the job at hand that I forgot about everything and everyone else, I've become a narcissistic prick, well, won't be much longer any.
I'm sorry if I've ever upset you or been cold or uncaring, I was never like this, I've turned myself into something undesireable, so it's about time I CTB.

I'm sorry to everyone I never messaged back, or didn't get to say goodbye to. These withdrawals have fucking ruined me, I'm terrified of getting to know people, even just talking to people sends me all over the place. I'm fucked.
Thank you to those who are no longer with us, and to those still holding on. You are truly caring people, I wish I could give some of that love back, I really do.

I've fucked up friendships formed on here, and I'm kicking myself everyday and wondering what the hell happened to me.

I'm sorry, I done my best, that's all I could, but it was never going to be enough.
 
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BurningLights

BurningLights

He killed himself with his own mind
Jul 2, 2018
709
I've been fixated on this fucking DMT, its allowed me to ignore all my feelings, I'm fucked up human who has no idea how to operate in this world, I got sucked in to my own crazy ideas, forgetting what actually matters. I hope you all find your peace.
 
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naia_

naia_

Student
Oct 11, 2018
132
Looks to me like you've had a very difficult time lately and despite the fact are capable of self reflection - more than one can say of most.
I personally have enjoyed reading your posts and been glad to see you around although the circumstances could've been more favorable. I doubt anyone would blame you.

I just wish you well, Lights. Wherever you go.
 
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M

meowcat

Experienced
Aug 9, 2018
238
I've been fixated on this fucking DMT, its allowed me to ignore all my feelings, I'm fucked up human who has no idea how to operate in this world, I got sucked in to my own crazy ideas, forgetting what actually matters. I hope you all find your peace.
You are not alone man.I've lost many friends and most people think I'm far out crazy.I feel what you're saying.
 
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M

Miss clefable

Enlightened
Aug 23, 2018
1,577
Hugs it's okay we all go through these periods I'm guilty too just know I care about you and a lot of others on here ❤️
 
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Susannah

Susannah

Mage
Jul 2, 2018
530
I forgive you:)
Almost started crying when reading your post. You write really good and honest, almost poetic. So thank you.
 
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worldexploder

worldexploder

Visionary
Sep 19, 2018
2,821
Buddy you don't have anything to be sorry about as far as I'm concerned. You're a good person who is in a lot of pain. I had periods and days were I was very cold and unfeeling towards others. It comes with being miserable. It's easy to get tunnel vision ya know. We are all human beings going though similar shit. We are family here. I made a couples apology threads in here before.
 
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BurningLights

BurningLights

He killed himself with his own mind
Jul 2, 2018
709
Thank you kind souls, I'm going to go have a cry in the shower now, I can feel your love, its warm and comforting.
❤️
 
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1

1234dave

Specialist
Oct 5, 2018
369
Walking the same journey as you.

Walking right beside you.
 
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blindstatue

blindstatue

Member
Nov 16, 2018
94
Sounds like something I could absolutely have written myself. I'm in the same situation. Always cold, no feelings, no interest in doing anything or caring about anybody. The thought of having to do something social or even talking to a cashier makes my skin crawl.

I'm with you, you are not alone.
 
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Help_Me

Help_Me

Gene pool mistake
Oct 21, 2018
516
You're absolutely ok, mate ! I always enjoy your topics and messages, everything is fine. We are always ready to support you. You are not alone ! Take care. *Hugs and handshake*
 
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Anyara

Anyara

Nothing is true, everything is permitted
Sep 6, 2018
125
If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to message me anytime you like.
Doesnt matter what about, but I can always listen :)
I am here for anyone who might have need off me!
 
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BurningLights

BurningLights

He killed himself with his own mind
Jul 2, 2018
709
Walking the same journey as you.

Walking right beside you.
As we hold hands walking into the distant sun, we stop and look at each other, we smile, because we don't need words, we know what's coming, peace will soon be with us. We hug, and silently, walk off into the horizon.
 
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BurningLights

BurningLights

He killed himself with his own mind
Jul 2, 2018
709
If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to message me anytime you like.
Doesnt matter what about, but I can always listen :)
I am here for anyone who might have need off me!
Thank you kind soul, you have no idea how much it means, even though don't give it back. Alas, it's too late now, I will not see tomorrows sun.
 
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BurningLights

BurningLights

He killed himself with his own mind
Jul 2, 2018
709
You're absolutely ok, mate ! I always enjoy your topics and messages, everything is fine. We are always ready to support you. You are not alone ! Take care. *Hugs and handshake*
Hugs you back with a tear in the eye
 
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BurningLights

BurningLights

He killed himself with his own mind
Jul 2, 2018
709
Sounds like something I could absolutely have written myself. I'm in the same situation. Always cold, no feelings, no interest in doing anything or caring about anybody. The thought of having to do something social or even talking to a cashier makes my skin crawl.

I'm with you, you are not alone.
It's hell in it self, we are just shells, going to the shop is fucking terrifying, what life is this? A life that shall not see the cold light of day again.
 
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BurningLights

BurningLights

He killed himself with his own mind
Jul 2, 2018
709
Buddy you don't have anything to be sorry about as far as I'm concerned. You're a good person who is in a lot of pain. I had periods and days were I was very cold and unfeeling towards others. It comes with being miserable. It's easy to get tunnel vision ya know. We are all human beings going though similar shit. We are family here. I made a couples apology threads in here before.
I can feel bad for saving a life, I've always been too hard on myself, now my final self destructive act is in sight. Thank you my friend, I really do appreciate. I wish I could have given more back to the all on this site.
 
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BurningLights

BurningLights

He killed himself with his own mind
Jul 2, 2018
709
I forgive you:)
Almost started crying when reading your post. You write really good and honest, almost poetic. So thank you.
Thank YOU, I was always good with my words, withdrawals took that from me, I only have myself to blame though. I'm glad you enjoyed my posts. ❤️
 
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bigj75

bigj75

“From Knowledge springs power."
Sep 1, 2018
2,540
abashed-the-devil-stood-and-felt-how-awful-goodness-is-and-saw-virtue-in-her-shape-how-lovely-and-pined-his-loss.jpg
 
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worldexploder

worldexploder

Visionary
Sep 19, 2018
2,821
I can feel bad for saving a life, I've always been too hard on myself, now my final self destructive act is in sight. Thank you my friend, I really do appreciate. I wish I could have given more back to the all on this site.
Buddy you contributed a lot to this site. I understand that feeling about being too hard on yourself. I get that way alot. Always second guessing to the point of getting paranoid. I wish you the best of luck on everything. You deserve peace. I always enjoyed talking to you. Do you got a date set if you don't mind me asking?
 
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BurningLights

BurningLights

He killed himself with his own mind
Jul 2, 2018
709
Hugs it's okay we all go through these periods I'm guilty too just know I care about you and a lot of others on here ❤️
Thank you miss clef, I'm sorry you suffer so. I wish I could have been more caring, but know I do care, I just don't know how to express myself anymore. ❤️
 
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BurningLights

BurningLights

He killed himself with his own mind
Jul 2, 2018
709
You are not alone man.I've lost many friends and most people think I'm far out crazy.I feel what you're saying.
Thank you meowcat, I've always had a little giggle at your name. :) hugs
 
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BurningLights

BurningLights

He killed himself with his own mind
Jul 2, 2018
709
Looks to me like you've had a very difficult time lately and despite the fact are capable of self reflection - more than one can say of most.
I personally have enjoyed reading your posts and been glad to see you around although the circumstances could've been more favorable. I doubt anyone would blame you.

I just wish you well, Lights. Wherever you go.
I'm glad you enjoyed them, and I'm sorry I was blind to the lovei was given by all. I see it now. Just in time, I will sleep easy.
 
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M

meowcat

Experienced
Aug 9, 2018
238
Thank you meowcat, I've always had a little giggle at your name. :) hugs
hahaha..I like cats!
And I'm a guy by the way,just so everyone knows.
 
Last edited:
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iHeartRockArt

iHeartRockArt

Wizard
Sep 21, 2018
608
Don't be too hard on yourself...you didn't do anything wrong. I understand exactly how you feel. You're loved here, always know that. Hope you find peace in whatever comes about.
 
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Dogsbody

Dogsbody

Odo
Oct 22, 2018
55
@BurningLights ypure one of the most compassionate ppl on ss, peace
 
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Jen Erik

Jen Erik

-
Oct 12, 2018
637
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Fucking loving it

Fucking loving it

Specialist
Sep 3, 2018
378
I know we haven't talked but I do enjoy your posts. I love the way you write. You are loved♡
 
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