Anxieyote
Sobriety over everything else • 30 • Midwest
- Mar 24, 2021
- 445
This is a vent post, I don't have any insights or thoughts to share.
I am shaking from a panic attack, trying to calm down and I don't know where else to go. I don't want to be a burden, but probably shouldn't be alone right now.
If I could describe how I'm feeling right now, I feel like a little kid lost in an airport or supermarket. I can't find my mom and I'm about to cry.
I don't like being vulnerable like this; I really don't. There's nothing dignified or acceptable about it, and I hate myself for not being able to maintain a 'frame', if that makes sense. I want to seem collected and thoughtful and smart, but I can't always maintain that facade. I'm hurting and weak and scared out of my mind.
When I start talking to my stuffed animals, I know I'm riding the line between anxious and psychotic. I know they're not real, but at the same time, I need them to be to get through an episode. I just got done talking to one of them and I'm trying to pull back a little bit and come back down to earth. They're asking me questions. And now head is spinning one second
I am shaking from a panic attack, trying to calm down and I don't know where else to go. I don't want to be a burden, but probably shouldn't be alone right now.
If I could describe how I'm feeling right now, I feel like a little kid lost in an airport or supermarket. I can't find my mom and I'm about to cry.
I don't like being vulnerable like this; I really don't. There's nothing dignified or acceptable about it, and I hate myself for not being able to maintain a 'frame', if that makes sense. I want to seem collected and thoughtful and smart, but I can't always maintain that facade. I'm hurting and weak and scared out of my mind.
When I start talking to my stuffed animals, I know I'm riding the line between anxious and psychotic. I know they're not real, but at the same time, I need them to be to get through an episode. I just got done talking to one of them and I'm trying to pull back a little bit and come back down to earth. They're asking me questions. And now head is spinning one second