Discussion Sometimes people give life another chance after a failed attempt. How and why a failed attempt can cause such a switch?

[Praestat_Mori]

What the title says.

Sometimes people change their mind after an attempt failed and they give life another chance, go into recovery and put a lot of efforts into it. What do you think causes that change in the way of thinking about CTB? I doubt, that the circumstances that drove someone to the point of wanting to die, were solved or eliminated bc of the failed attempt.

Sometimes I think about whether I would give recovery a better chance in my case or I'd just be angry about failing and doing everything to attempt asap again to be successful with the next attempt.

 

[the_path_of_sorrows]

I've heard of some cases when those that try to ctb, when being so near to finally leaving, see dark figures, somebody coming to take them. NDEs seem to cause this ,,ability to see", as well. I read on the internet a few years ago how the nurses are talking about their experiences with those that are going to die that seem to see some shadowy figures before leaving.

Also, becoming a vegetable (the whole experience after waking up) can be scary and being so near to this can cause SI to overreact.

 

[Darkover]

depends on the circumstance for some people it's a wake up call when their attempt fails maybe they realized something like having an epiphany moment and realizes that life is worth living after all

 

[rozeske]

I think this only works in the case of impulsive attempts and on someone that never really wanted to die in the first place. You are right about your circumstances never changing only your perception. I was pretty angry when my attempt failed to work. Soon after I was in so much anxiety and panicking so much about how am gonna be able to find a method if I couldn't make partial hanging to work. I felt stuck with no way out.

 

[tbroken]

It really depends on the cases. I learnt some time ago that i have CPTSD, so the trauma is hard-wired to me, i also meditated and analyzed it in depth and I found myself to be a total wanderer both love-wise and job-wise. I also understood that it was not what i wanted, especially job/technical wise, but i cannot just go back in time and fix this.
In my case depression caught me in the period where i was supposed to make important decisions and i completely screw*d this. I cannot just forget it.

 

[willitpass]

Many people who experience near death have life changing epiphanies, not just in failed suicide attempts. Being that close to the end of your life opens the door for high emotions and serious self reflection. Maybe toeing that line made someone realize last moments that there were things they were not ready to leave behind and would like to accomplish more before they go. Near death is such a heightened state I don't think the thoughts it brings can be replicated until you're in that moment.

 

[Darkover]

Near death is such a heightened state I don't think the thoughts it brings can be replicated until you're in that moment.

psychedelic experience maybe I've heard they can change your life

 

[willitpass]

psychedelic experience maybe I've heard they can change your life

I haven't ever tripped so I can't say for certain, but having many near death experiences I feel like they change your life in different ways. Facing mortality gives you the thoughts of "I nearly lost all of this, where do I go now?". Psychedelic experiences are very unique, and I know sometimes do included facing mortality, but not always. Again, I've never tried it, this is just based on what I've heard about it.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

psychedelic experience maybe I've heard they can change your life

Yes, I agree with that. Psychedelic experiences can change lives and the way of thinking and so on.

I had many psychedelic experiences but none of them was ever related to death.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I reckon they must get a massive surge of fear/adrenalin for one. I've had ideation for decades but I once saw a highrise block of flats on fire. (Amazingly, no one got hurt.) I'm terrified of fire and even that weirdly motivated me to be grateful to be alive and safe for a short period.

If they are caught and stopped, they may also view it as fate I suppose but I imagine more importantly, they may actually start getting proper support if people finally realise just how bad things are.

 

[derpyderpins]

What the title says.

Sometimes people change their mind after an attempt failed and they give life another chance, go into recovery and put a lot of efforts into it. What do you think causes that change in the way of thinking about CTB? I doubt, that the circumstances that drove someone to the point of wanting to die, were solved or eliminated bc of the failed attempt.

Sometimes I think about whether I would give recovery a better chance in my case or I'd just be angry about failing and doing everything to attempt asap again to be successful with the next attempt.

I think it's important to consider this, even as a board that believes a person's life is their own.

Suicide is caused by self-evaluating ones life, determining it's not worth living as it currently is, and exhausting potential options to make it worth living. If one attempts and then decides ctb is not the right choice, it must be a combination of three things:

1. The evaluation of their life's value pre-ctb attempt was inaccurate;
2. The experience changed them in a way that made them evaluate differently; and/or
3. The attempt changed their life to make it more worthwhile.

(1) is likely the main factor for impulsive 'my girlfriend dumped me' attempts. (2) can happen if their mental pain was causing them to not consider important factors, or if the experience was spiritual in some way. (3) can occur if the people around them start treating them differently after the attempt.

 

[wiinterfrost]

for me i'd go in the direction of saying that when you tried and then failed/weren't able to go through it, you know that trying again immediately after might just yield the same results. so you do something different for a while before comnig back to it. or it's just survival instinct being so intense it carries on for a few weeks. my thoughts anyways. this might only be true for few

 

[Captainfalconcrou]

I think a failed suicide attempt must be traumatizing as hell, and a reaction following a trauma can be unpredictable and maybe change you radically.
Also, the reaction from your relatives (if you have some) can help you realizing you don't want to ctb after all.
I do see many many people want to try again asap though

 

[huggyob]

there are multiple ways of understanding, that is the only way i'd put it. whether it be spiritual and that those which are in between the afterlife and life sense some danger in the afterlife which deters them from it. or the most common belief that shame and fear of failing a 2nd time puts too much shame on the person in question

 

[Wolf-Alice]

I was this person. I'm not sure how to explain, but it definitely wasn't anything spiritual. Also my attempt wasn't impulsive, I had planned for months.

 

[Demian]

In my case, I tried it three times. The last time I was in a Glasgow 3 coma (the most severe level of coma) etc, I nearly died. I thought it would get better, but I still wanna die.

 

[karmaisabitch]

I think the failed person gets a lot of attention after the attempt, it's like a wakup call to family so everyone starts to intervene I'm sure this will make a different to some people. I also think they get sacred from failing again.

I hear the opposite " once you try once you will try again but the second time is successful". Most of the people who actually died they attempted before.. so it can be both way I guess

 

[lovedread]

People in their lives probably care some

 

[nozomu]

Failing my attempt in November 2022 is what led me to sasu. The lack of support and love I had from basically everyone in my life after my last suicide attempt is what made me want to make sure my next time is guaranteed.

But fuck, it makes every day of living so high stakes to know you can be dead at any moment. Like truly in control of that.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

This switch probably happens because it takes experience to fully understand the experience. That's why people resort to saying stuff like "life is a gift" and "life is beautiful" for everybody despite knowing that people suffer in extreme conditions. They do this because they haven't experienced suffering in extreme conditions yet. They know that rape exists but not the pain it can cause until they've been raped themselves. They know that domestic abuse exists but not the pain it causes until they've experienced it themselves. Similarly, they know that suicide isn't for them but it takes a suicide attempt to actually understand that. It takes almost reaching death to understand that they don't want death yet

 

[sserafim]

there are multiple ways of understanding, that is the only way i'd put it. whether it be spiritual and that those which are in between the afterlife and life sense some danger in the afterlife which deters them from it. or the most common belief that shame and fear of failing a 2nd time puts too much shame on the person in question

What kind of danger?

 

[Esokabat]

The majority of people who have a proper NDE, Near Death Experience, after failed suicide attempt, do not attempt again. I think during clinical death, everyone will have an NDE, but not everyone is allowed to bring back the memory, for some specific reasons that I can explain if anyone wants to know. Here is a video compilation of failed suicide attempts: