Sometimes I wish my mamma can die, so that I can ctb

[dandan]

I have had that idea since 10 years ago.
My mom dying would allow me to CTB earlier, am I to selfish? goodness great I am... but I have been living an unjoyful life since early 17,18.... living with emotional issues,
even ECT at once stage,
but I cant go before my momma
she's even talked about it how that is not a good thing and she wouldnt appreciate it
but she's also said, she would respect it , in another occasion...

im doomed, hahaha im fucking doomed, how can I spent the last years of life until my mom grows old and she quits, so that I can ctb,
I mean how can I "try" to enjoy those years?
what attitude should I obtain?

What attitude could I get?

Work Work Work attitude?

 

[FauxEmotions]

Find small victories, those small victories are insanely rewarding and lead to bigger ones. Those small victories can literally be anything, from the smallest of good deeds to a bigger goal. Also, for the record, I wouldn't say you're selfish being that you can't leave this existence because you know it'll hurt someone else.

 

[Cookiedough8956]

Find small victories, those small victories are insanely rewarding and lead to bigger ones. Those small victories can literally be anything, from the smallest of good deeds to a bigger goal. Also, for the record, I wouldn't say you're selfish being that you can't leave this existence because you know it'll hurt someone else.

That's a really positive thing to advise!

 

[TheGoodGuy]

To be honest I think we all feel this way, I LOVE my parents and I know a lot of other people do to but if they died in a car crash or whatever it would make it so much easier to ctb primary because I wouldn´t ruin their lives and the emotional damage to me from missing them would be a great drive to ctb.

 

[FauxEmotions]

That's a really positive thing to advise!

I always try to push positivity being that me insides are dark. Also, my favorite comedian recently committed suicide after struggling with demons his whole life. His whole mantra was push and believe. Positive thinking. sorry, went on a corny rant but R.I.P Brody Stevens.

 

[dandan]

Also, my favorite comedian recently committed suicide after struggling with demons his whole life....

I have for a long time believed that comedy or learning how to do comedy could save my life....

 

[FauxEmotions]

I have for a long time believed that comedy or learning how to do comedy could save my life....

It honestly could, but having one singular thing be make or break for life is dangerous. Especially in something like comedy because there are great ups and even greater downs. I absolutely adore comedy as a spectator because of the pure joy it brings me but I don't find myself to be that funny. However, mentally I relate to a ton of them after listening to their interviews and the way they see life.

 

[dandan]

I'm

I absolutely adore comedy as a spectator because of the pure joy it brings me....

I actually think comedy is super smart, like super inteligent, like only very smart people can do comedy, I watch shows or listen to jokes and I wonder what incredible people created comedy...

I wish I could, well I surely could, I just need to learn the basics... but hell,,,, its so surreal...

 

[Johnnythefox]

I have for a long time believed that comedy or learning how to do comedy could save my life....

The greatest comedians themselves are tragic figures, check out Lenny Bruce, Bill Hicks and others in that vein. A Welsh comedian over here called Rhod Gilbert suffers from social anxiety, yet he can still manage to get up on stage in front of thousands. I like this story of Pagliacci:

Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor...I am Pagliacci.

 

[FauxEmotions]

I'm


I actually think comedy is super smart, like super inteligent, like only very smart people can do comedy, I watch shows or listen to jokes and I wonder what incredible people created comedy...

I wish I could, well I surely could, I just need to learn the basics... but hell,,,, its so surreal...

I totally agree. Also, a big reason why I don't think I could pull it off... I just don't think highly of myself at all.

From my many hrs of listening of podcasts, listening to comedians talk they all say, you just gotta do it. Reps help shape your comedic voice. Best of luck if you get into it. Hit up open mics. If you ever get on a stage in Washington state, please PM me and I'll be first row :)

 

[dandan]

I totally agree. Also, a big reason why I don't think I could pull it off... I just don't think highly of myself at all.

From my many hrs of listening of podcasts, listening to comedians talk they all say, you just gotta do it. Reps help shape your comedic voice. Best of luck if you get into it. Hit up open mics. If you ever get on a stage in Washington state, please PM me and I'll be first row :)

hahahaha come one, I have to start with 1 joke first.... 1

 

[FauxEmotions]

hahahaha come one, I have to start with 1 joke first.... 1

Amen! Instead of shower concerts, I have shower bits haha couldn't tell you how horrid they are.

 

[Johnnythefox]

hahahaha come one, I have to start with 1 joke first.... 1

Joke telling is all about the delivery, it's about how it is said rather than what is said most of the time. It's about having the correct timing, knowing when to pause to create tension.

 

[FauxEmotions]

"You should be laughing based off of cadence alone. Yes! Push and believe!"

- Brody Stevens

I'd have to agree with ya @Johnnythefox haha