Sometimes I think "wouldn't people be better off if I didn't exist?"

[Water-Lily]

I have borderline personality disorder and major depressive disorder. A combination for total disaster. It makes making relationships hard, and then when I spiral I can be nasty and abusive at times.

I sometimes wish I didn't exist. I feel like in some way I will always cause trouble for people

I remember having roommates in college and one time I did something kinda fucked up where during a spiral I slammed a door on someone. To which I got a stern talking to from all 3 of my roommates about my behavior. I remember that night I was crying to a friend about how I wanted to jump off a bridge that night

All proves I can't around people. I am just a waste of space and a burden who shouldn't be here. in my presence someone better can step in

 

[polarbear]

i feel the same,everyone i live with ends up being just as miserable as i am,my room mate used to be a lively guy but after a month or two living with me he was just as fucked up as i am,i left college as i couldnt take it anymore,now i m home and my presence is having a wonderfull effect on my family,my kid brother used to go out eveyday to play with his friends now he stays in for most of the time hes getting depressed and i m so rude to my parents that they cant relax in their own home, i think if i leave sure they will be sad at first but in the long run itll do them more good

 

[Water-Lily]

i feel the same,everyone i live with ends up being just as miserable as i am,my room mate used to be a lively guy but after a month or two living with me he was just as fucked up as i am,i left college as i couldnt take it anymore,now i m home and my presence is having a wonderfull effect on my family,my kid brother used to go out eveyday to play with his friends now he stays in for most of the time hes getting depressed and i m so rude to my parents that they cant relax in their own home, i think if i leave sure they will be sad at first but in the long run itll do them more good

I feel this. I mean my dad doesnt mind me. my bro is a little abusive shit tho