Venting Sometimes i make hidden signs/hints when i'm alone

[Dusk till dawn]

When i'm certain that nobody will see me, i do gestures that hint me ending myself, often the finger gun on my head resembling me shooting myself in my head and finishing me, or when holding a sharp object i put it in my stomach, resembling me stabbing myself, the funny thing is, nobody notices, and i intentionally make it so that nobody notices, it's always when i'm sure i'm alone or everyone is sleeping, it became a habit to me

 

[Sulyya]

Same, for a couple years now or so. Including saying it out loud, which has had some close calls. Might accidentally say out loud that I'm going to kill myself with someone nearby one day and that won't be fun