Venting Sometimes I fantasize about an extremely violent death.

[CrazyDiamond04]

I often think about dying in extremely gory and bloody ways such as by train, shotgun, or explosives. My self hatred drives me to want to annihilate my body completely, turning it into nothing; and I get this feeling that death should be awful and horrific rather than peaceful.

 

[The Burning Fool]

I can definitely relate. I hate myself so much I get a boner fantasizing about monsters brutally raping and murdering me.

 

[Circles]

Same here. I sometimes wish I could see my own blood gushing out often body while the life drains away from me. I remember reading about a method where you tie a chain or a rope to a strong enough post and get in your car and put the car in drive flooring it as fast as you can so you can behead yourself.

 

[sserafim]

I don't fantasize about an extremely violent death, but sometimes I fantasize about committing arson

 

[BardBarrie]

I often think about dying in extremely gory and bloody ways such as by train, shotgun, or explosives. My self hatred drives me to want to annihilate my body completely, turning it into nothing; and I get this feeling that death should be awful and horrific rather than peaceful.

I cannot relate; I can only understand a desire to die peacefully and with minimal trauma.
Different strokes for different folks I guess.

 

[bipbapbop]

I cannot relate; I can only understand a desire to die peacefully and with minimal trauma.
Different strokes for different folks I guess.

Same, I once saw someone say on reddit that they "want to die beautifully" and that's been my goal ever since (I know there's nothing beautiful about it but just want to look like I've fallen asleep).

 

[thetruetato]

A lot of the time I feel the same way. If I could I would just overdose on really strong painkillers and mutilate myself until I bled out.

 

[BardBarrie]

Same, I once saw someone say on reddit that they "want to die beautifully" and that's been my goal ever since (I know there's nothing beautiful about it but just want to look like I've fallen asleep).

That's perfectly understandable. I'd imagine most wish they could just "curl up and die asleep", I know I certainly would — sadly I don't really have that option lol. *shrug*

Samesies here as well. Always had this sick fascination for gore/vore death of myself from a demonic entity.

See when I read stuff like this, I immediately think: "If that's the case, then what's stopping one from just jumping into an industrial machine or jumping from a tall building?"

Surely when push comes to shove, you'd actually feel the natural urge to avoid gruesome trauma?

 

[sserafim]

I can definitely relate. I hate myself so much I get a boner fantasizing about monsters brutally raping and murdering me.

Why?

 

[DiglySilly]

Mutilate each finger of my hands in some way to slowly bleed out or drink acid.

 

[bipbapbop]

That's perfectly understandable. I'd imagine most wish they could just "curl up and die asleep", I know I certainly would — sadly I don't really have that option lol. *shrug*

Sorry to hear that. Would you mind if I asked why?

 

[BardBarrie]

Sorry to hear that. Would you mind if I asked why?

Why I want to not live, or why I can't die trauma-free?

 

[bipbapbop]

Why I want to not live, or why I can't die trauma-free?

Why you cant die trauma-free

 

[BardBarrie]

Why you cant die trauma-free

Such methods aren't really available to me or have a risk of error I'm unwilling to gamble on.

 

[Illegal Preclear]

I absolutely relate. I fantasize about putting the barrel of a high caliber Magnum in my mouth and turning my head to red mist. I want to physically destroy my Schizophrenia and Autism. I want to blast it all over the walls. I want to have the last laugh over my disabilities!