Venting Sometimes depression can’t be treated

[willitpass]

Something I have been told so many times throughout my life is that depression is treatable. My dad has told me since I was 14 that yes, I may have a chronic condition, but unlike something like cancer, my depression is 100% treatable. I'm so fucking tired of being told how lucky I am that what I have is "just depression". That I'm blessed to have some treatable condition. If it's so fucking treatable why am I still so fucking miserable??? I have spent over 2.5 years combined in my life in the hospital/residentials. I have tried almost every med in the book. I've tried every talk therapy program or model that is available to me thousands of times over since the age of fucking 7. I've tried running and eating healthy and staying hydrated and meditating and doing yoga and sniffing essential oils and journaling. And now I've had both ECT and ketamine therapy. If it's such a blessing to have a treatable condition why am I suffering so horribly?

I'm so tired. I'm so, so, so tired and worn out. I wanted ketamine to be my miracle cure so badly. And it gave me a few weeks. I'm thankful I got a few weeks of reprieve. But I'm crashing again. I'm not yet crashed enough to be ready to CTB right this instant, but if I keep down this trajectory it won't be long. I'm exhausted. I'm not going to survive this. If it's so fucking treatable why is it going to kill me after everything I've done to try and kill it?

 

[sspkky]

Something I have been told so many times throughout my life is that depression is treatable. My dad has told me since I was 14 that yes, I may have a chronic condition, but unlike something like cancer, my depression is 100% treatable. I'm so fucking tired of being told how lucky I am that what I have is "just depression". That I'm blessed to have some treatable condition. If it's so fucking treatable why am I still so fucking miserable??? I have spent over 2.5 years combined in my life in the hospital/residentials. I have tried almost every med in the book. I've tried every talk therapy program or model that is available to me thousands of times over since the age of fucking 7. I've tried running and eating healthy and staying hydrated and meditating and doing yoga and sniffing essential oils and journaling. And now I've had both ECT and ketamine therapy. If it's such a blessing to have a treatable condition why am I suffering so horribly?

I'm so tired. I'm so, so, so tired and worn out. I wanted ketamine to be my miracle cure so badly. And it gave me a few weeks. I'm thankful I got a few weeks of reprieve. But I'm crashing again. I'm not yet crashed enough to be ready to CTB right this instant, but if I keep down this trajectory it won't be long. I'm exhausted. I'm not going to survive this. If it's so fucking treatable why is it going to kill me after everything I've done to try and kill it?

how does ket therapy work?

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I don't think it can be treated when what caused/is causing it is someone's freaked-up life circumstances. When it's simply too late to change things or get out of life what one needs or needed.

 

[davidtorez]

Some people need to understand that if its not clinical depression, then the only way to "treat" the depression is for your situation in life to change and for many people that's just not gonna happen

 

[Hollowman]

Nothing worked for me either. Just a bunch of bandaids on a gaping wound that'll never heal.

 

[willitpass]

Some people need to understand that if its not clinical depression, then the only way to "treat" the depression is for your situation in life to change and for many people that's just not gonna happen

In my case it surprisingly isn't caused by my current life circumstances. Severe childhood trauma caused it to start, but my current life I've made for myself in adulthood is actually everything I could ask for. A job I am genuinely so passionate about, a good place to live, a cat I care about deeply, friends, hobbies, caring family, etc. Nothing in this world seems to be enough to satisfy the leeching depression in my mind.

 

[rs929]

Just a long shot but maybe you don't have clinical depression but some rare condition that mimics it? I asked ChatGPT for some diseases that may appear as depression

1. Hypothyroidism
2. Cushing's Syndrome
3. Addison's Disease
4. Vitamin B12 Deficiency
5. Vitamin D Deficiency
6. Multiple Sclerosis (MS)
7. Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (Lupus)
8. Parkinson's Disease (early stages)
9. Frontal Lobe Tumors
10. Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)
11. PANDAS (in children)
12. Obstructive Sleep Apnea
13. Narcolepsy
14. Wilson's Disease
15. Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus (NPH)
16. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS/ME)
17. Porphyria (e.g., Acute Intermittent Porphyria)
18. Lyme Disease (Neuroborreliosis)
19. Autoimmune Encephalitis (e.g., Anti-NMDA receptor encephalitis)
20. Temporal Lobe Epilepsy
21. Neurosarcoidosis
22. Heavy Metal Poisoning (Lead, Mercury, etc.)
23. HIV and Other Chronic Infections

Sorry for trying to help, I know you'll probably hate it. Just thinking that if nothing helps for your depression maybe it's not actual depression to begin with

In any case I hope you find relief somehow. I have a treatment resistant depression and now looking into ketamine or a MAOI

 

[divinemistress36]

I agree with this so much. I like you have tried just about every treatment and still get told bs like some magic treatment will randomly come out one day. Some depression just cant be treated

 

[rubyharv]

Something I have been told so many times throughout my life is that depression is treatable. My dad has told me since I was 14 that yes, I may have a chronic condition, but unlike something like cancer, my depression is 100% treatable. I'm so fucking tired of being told how lucky I am that what I have is "just depression". That I'm blessed to have some treatable condition. If it's so fucking treatable why am I still so fucking miserable??? I have spent over 2.5 years combined in my life in the hospital/residentials. I have tried almost every med in the book. I've tried every talk therapy program or model that is available to me thousands of times over since the age of fucking 7. I've tried running and eating healthy and staying hydrated and meditating and doing yoga and sniffing essential oils and journaling. And now I've had both ECT and ketamine therapy. If it's such a blessing to have a treatable condition why am I suffering so horribly?

I'm so tired. I'm so, so, so tired and worn out. I wanted ketamine to be my miracle cure so badly. And it gave me a few weeks. I'm thankful I got a few weeks of reprieve. But I'm crashing again. I'm not yet crashed enough to be ready to CTB right this instant, but if I keep down this trajectory it won't be long. I'm exhausted. I'm not going to survive this. If it's so fucking treatable why is it going to kill me after everything I've done to try and kill it?

I hear you. Really. And I'm so sorry you've had to endure this while being told your suffering is "fixable" if you just [insert exhausting advice here].

The truth? Depression can be treatable—but not always, not for everyone, and certainly not in some neat, linear way. You haven't failed treatment—treatment has failed you. Years of hospitals, meds, therapies, ECT, ketamine? That's not someone who didn't try hard enough. That's someone who was never given what actually works for them.

It's okay to be furious. It's okay to be exhausted. The "just depression" narrative is bullshit when yours has been a relentless war.

I don't have answers. But I see how hard you've fought. If you're not done yet, I hope you find something that helps, even a little. And if you're just tired? That makes sense too. You don't owe anyone false hope.

You matter. Your pain matters. I'm sorry it's been this hard.

 

[ma0]

Ignorance is all it is, people just have this odd idea drilled into their head that all depression is treatable as a result of years of being fed false, bullshit, surface level mental health "advice." Worst bit is, there will very likely be no change anytime soon, it's just assumed as set in stone.