Story Something's so surreal about actually getting SN

[.............]

After a week, my SN finally got here, and it was so surreal actually getting to hold it in my hands. It was wrapped in layers upon layers for safety, and when I got to it, it was heavier than expected (I got 250g). It was wrapped in plastic real tight with a rubber band keeping it closed, and I spent a while looking at it before just thinking to myself something like: So if I just wanted to end it, I could. As much as I want it and have been "fantasizing" about it for a while, it's still so weird to me. I see stories of people receiving their SN not even think twice about it but I'm just in a weird kind of shock.

After a while I threw it back into my closet and now I'm sitting here kind of taking in that I could literally end it whenever I wanted to. I have everything I need and it's kind of making me lightheaded thinking about it.

 

[Al_stargate]

I'm sure it feels this way. Thinking about it and doing it is completely different. I'm sure all sorts of emotions go through ones head when actually close to that point. Tough!

 

[sharky]

when I ordered it I felt pretty good. I felt as if I can finally get my destiny into my own hands. But I'm sure when it arrives I will feel differently and probably bad, because even though the pain will stop, so will the few "good" things. I can't imagine what it's like taking it and knowing you're gonna die in a few minutes.

 

[pudds]

I completely relate. I just got my own package of SN (also 250 grams) today. I'm considering ctb tomorrow, but I'm not 100% sure on it yet.

 

[orange]

Happened to me. Mine came in an unsealed bag too. I kept it there for almost a month and didn't think much of it, well, turns out it has a half life of 86 days so you might want to purchase mylar bags and oxygen absorbers :(

 

[houseofleaves]

Happened to me. Mine came in an unsealed bag too. I kept it there for almost a month and didn't think much of it, well, turns out it has a half life of 86 days so you might want to purchase mylar bags and oxygen absorbers :(

do oxygen absorbers turn nitrate back into nitrite? sorry for asking((

 

[.............]

Happened to me. Mine came in an unsealed bag too. I kept it there for almost a month and didn't think much of it, well, turns out it has a half life of 86 days so you might want to purchase mylar bags and oxygen absorbers :(

I haven't opened the bag with mine, actually. Would it be okay to put it in a bottle or something instead?

 

[orange]

do oxygen absorbers turn nitrate back into nitrite? sorry for asking((

No, oxygen does. By absorbing all the oxygen, it keeps nitrite from becoming nitrate. Don't worry about asking, I found out recently too

I haven't opened the bag with mine, actually. Would it be okay to put it in a bottle or something instead?

Is the bag sealed? A rubber band is not a seal...

 

[.............]

Is the bag sealed? A rubber band is not a seal...

Looked at it again because I swore it was sealed and the rubber band was there for caution. Closed pretty tight, but yeah, not exactly sealed lol

 

[Judy Garland]

It's nice to have the power to choose life or death in your own hands. That's what recieving the SN will give me, I'll always know I'll have an out.
Concerning the oxidization of Nitrite, yup.,...Oxygen turns it into Nitrate.
My Question is: Would it be ok to put the SN in the freezer? Freezing normally stops chemical reactions from happening...would it be ok to do this with SN?

 

[pudds]

I have a vacuum sealer.. would that do the trick in preventing oxidization?

 

[its-about-time]

I see stories of people receiving their SN not even think twice about it but I'm just in a weird kind of shock.

I have everything I need and it's kind of making me lightheaded thinking about it.

I had the same feeling yesterday when I ordered mine. Sort of an adrenaline rush mixed with shock. I got a similar response again when I saw that it shipped later in the day. Do whatever proves necessary for making it shelf stable then don't put any rush on yourself.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that personally I would be relieved if I had a way to exit this world at a time of my own choosing. I'm sorry for all the suffering that has brought you to this point. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Obtaining a method was a sigh of relief for me because for the first time in my life it felt like I had some semblance of control.

 

[orange]

do oxygen absorbers turn nitrate back into nitrite? sorry for asking((

Lmao I misunderstood your question earlier, no, sorry, oxygen absorbers don't turn sodium nitrate back into poison

 

[houseofleaves]

Lmao I misunderstood your question earlier, no, sorry, oxygen absorbers don't turn sodium nitrate back into poison

thank you very much, dear friend!

 

[sparky10]

Wish I could get hold of it. My,life is torture 24/7

 

[sharky]

It's nice to have the power to choose life or death in your own hands. That's what recieving the SN will give me, I'll always know I'll have an out.
Concerning the oxidization of Nitrite, yup.,...Oxygen turns it into Nitrate.
My Question is: Would it be ok to put the SN in the freezer? Freezing normally stops chemical reactions from happening...would it be ok to do this with SN?

That's a bad idea. Because of moisture. Sn should be stored in a dark and dry area.

 

[Girl-shaped Wound]

After a week, my SN finally got here, and it was so surreal actually getting to hold it in my hands. It was wrapped in layers upon layers for safety, and when I got to it, it was heavier than expected (I got 250g). It was wrapped in plastic real tight with a rubber band keeping it closed, and I spent a while looking at it before just thinking to myself something like: So if I just wanted to end it, I could. As much as I want it and have been "fantasizing" about it for a while, it's still so weird to me. I see stories of people receiving their SN not even think twice about it but I'm just in a weird kind of shock.

After a while I threw it back into my closet and now I'm sitting here kind of taking in that I could literally end it whenever I wanted to. I have everything I need and it's kind of making me lightheaded thinking about it.

Girl, the same situation here. Big problem is that I both have valium and metoproclamide, but the latter has an expiry date of September 2022. So I assume that my CTB has a set time window, which stresses me out. 2 weeks ago I was ready to do it. However, I ended up being calmed down by a person that I live with and didn't do anything. Now I'm relatively stable, but I still want to off myself in the near future. I'm worried if I will manage to finish everything before the pills end up expired...

 

[sharky]

Girl, the same situation here. Big problem is that I both have valium and metoproclamide, but the latter has an expiry date of September 2022. So I assume that my CTB has a set time window, which stresses me out. 2 weeks ago I was ready to do it. However, I ended up being calmed down by a person that I live with and didn't do anything. Now I'm relatively stable, but I still want to off myself in the near future. I'm worried if I will manage to finish everything before the pills end up expired...

The meto won't go bad. Pharma stuff doesn't go bad for years after the expiry date. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

 

[Girl-shaped Wound]

The meto won't go bad. Pharma stuff doesn't go bad for years after the expiry date. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

It really won't? I've read up about it, but haven't found proof about meto not going bad...
I've been keeping it in a fridge (not very cold, but still) like a dumbass hoping to make it last a bit longer. Hope I haven't ruined it that way!
I will be so fucking happy if it's true, since I've been lucky enough to be able to collect the whole CTB set without much difficulty (got meto for an unrelated medical issue one year earlier, valium 2 years ago from a shrink I no longer visit - 5 pills take me out in minutes).

 

[sharky]

It really won't? I've read up about it, but haven't found proof about meto not going bad...
I've been keeping it in a fridge (not very cold, but still) like a dumbass hoping to make it last a bit longer. Hope I haven't ruined it that way!
I will be so fucking happy if it's true, since I've been lucky enough to be able to collect the whole CTB set without much difficulty (got meto for an unrelated medical issue one year earlier, valium 2 years ago from a shrink I no longer visit - 5 pills take me out in minutes).

Well I know that most pills are still good for 5 years or even longer after the expiry date. Some medication even 20 years. But I wouldn't keep it in a freezer because they're supposed to be stored in a dry place

 

[Girl-shaped Wound]

Well I know that most pills are still good for 5 years or even longer after the expiry date. Some medication even 20 years. But I wouldn't keep it in a freezer because they're supposed to be stored in a dry place

Point taken, hope they haven't gone bad. Fuck me for overcorrecting. Too bad that there is no reliable way of checking if they are still okay... I think. Unless I take one out, look at it and submerge in water. Though I'm not sure how exactly they are supposed to behave...