Something powerful wants you to die

[WanderingEremite]

I personally believe it's just horrible luck. There are billions of people in the world, not everyone is going to have a happy ending.

Ok, but keep in mind that the OP is mostly about the sense that things are going so bad it seems as if one is the victim of superpowerful persecution. One can have this impression yet believe that no such persecution is actually occurring. Ditto for @Hunter.

 

[WanderingEremite]

I think it's natural selection.

Yes. Not that natural selection is some conscious force (as I'm sure you know). But for those with sufficiently maladaptive genotypes, the manifold sources of selective pressure acting against them will probably give the impression of divine persecution. Someone who's unintelligent, unattractive, impulsive, psychopathological, physically unhealthy, and so on (believe it or not and as awful as it is, all of these problems tend to positively associate through the action of pleiotropic mutations) ... well, they're going to be fucked at every turn, by many different things (bullies, potential mates, teachers, employers, etc.).

 

[GeorgeEastman]

Logic.

Life can be good for others. Not for me. The best I ever felt was being put out for surgeries. To not feel. Death is the only way.

 

[Caustic Cardinals]

Logic.

Life can be good for others. Not for me. The best I ever felt was being put out for surgeries. To not feel. Death is the only way.

 

[bigj75]

Yes. Not that natural selection is some conscious force (as I'm sure you know). But for those with sufficiently maladaptive genotypes, the manifold sources of selective pressure acting against them will probably give the impression of divine persecution. Someone who's unintelligent, unattractive, impulsive, psychopathological, physically unhealthy, and so on (believe it or not and as awful as it is, all of these problems tend to positively associate through the action of pleiotropic mutations) ... well, they're going to be fucked at every turn, by many different things (bullies, potential mates, teachers, employers, etc.).

Really good post!

 

[Final Escape]

Have you ever felt that things were getting so bad for you, and so rapidly, that it was as if some highly powerful or even supernatural entity/entities wanted you dead? This isn't to ask whether you really believed, or believe, this to be true (though if so, please share your experience). Rather, have you ever been at the point that your circumstances felt as if they could be the result of a superpowerful entity's (or superpowerful entities') persecution?

Yes it feels like this at times. But from the time I was born it's felt like this. It almost feels like there was an X on me from the moment of conception now that I think about it. It's weird that you bring this up because I've thought this before. Yes absolutely I think the devil is trying to get our soul and constantly trying to convince us that we are better off dead. I'm not exactly religious but it makes sense to me that we all have capacity for good and evil. We are all corruptable. I think the longer you support evil even if unconsciously, the more it takes over you and u become weaker and hopeless till the devil can convince you to kill yourself so he can claim your soul. I don't really believe this but I've considered that this could be happening. But I can't really believe that young innocent people who kill themselves on impulse, or very old people who are in a lot of pain would go to hell for suicide. Somehow I just don't think this would be just.

 

[Maravillosa]

Yes it feels like this at times. But from the time I was born it's felt like this. It almost feels like there was an X on me from the moment of conception now that I think about it. It's weird that you bring this up because I've thought this before. Yes absolutely I think the devil is trying to get our soul and constantly trying to convince us that we are better off dead. I'm not exactly religious but it makes sense to me that we all have capacity for good and evil. We are all corruptable. I think the longer you support evil even if unconsciously, the more it takes over you and u become weaker and hopeless till the devil can convince you to kill yourself so he can claim your soul. I don't really believe this but I've considered that this could be happening. But I can't really believe that young innocent people who kill themselves on impulse, or very old people who are in a lot of pain would go to hell for suicide. Somehow I just don't think this would be just.

Recently, when I was confessing my ctb thoughts to a priest, he reminded me that God is not the one who wants me to ctb. It is plausible to me that the Devil is trying to convince people (including yours truly) to ctb. However, I believe that God can snatch victory out of the jaws of (apparent) defeat. If I were to ask God for mercy and forgiveness if and when I ctb, I hope and pray that He would not consider that an example of the sin of presumption (committing a sin in the expectation that God would forgive it) and allow me to enter Heaven. And I agree with you that innocent young people or old people who are in a lot of pain should not go to Hell because they ctb. God is just as well as merciful.

 

[bigj75]

Recently, when I was confessing my ctb thoughts to a priest, he reminded me that God is not the one who wants me to ctb. It is plausible to me that the Devil is trying to convince people (including yours truly) to ctb. However, I believe that God can snatch victory out of the jaws of (apparent) defeat. If I were to ask God for mercy and forgiveness if and when I ctb, I hope and pray that He would not consider that an example of the sin of presumption (committing a sin in the expectation that God would forgive it) and allow me to enter Heaven. And I agree with you that innocent young people or old people who are in a lot of pain should not go to Hell because they ctb. God is just as well as merciful.

I don't like getting all religious but that does seem to make sense. Except there are cases where innocent children or old people who are in alot of pain attempt to ctb and it doesn't work and they are left suffering even more. For example: there has been a case where a child was kidnapped, raped, and tortured for years. Eventually over time the child attempted to ctb themselves instead of continuing to live but was unsuccessful and ended up damaging themselves to the point of disability which simply left them without the ability to attempt to ctb again and still with their captor. Many religious people will say God punished that child for attempting suicide since it's a sin. Some will say that's proof that there is no God.

Idk what to believe in when shit like that goes on in the world.

 

[Maravillosa]

I don't like getting all religious but that does seem to make sense. Except there are cases where innocent children or old people who are in alot of pain attempt to ctb and it doesn't work and they are left suffering even more. For example: there has been a case where a child was kidnapped, raped, and tortured for years. Eventually over time the child attempted to ctb themselves instead of continuing to live but was unsuccessful and ended up damaging themselves to the point of disability which simply left them without the ability to attempt to ctb again and still with their captor. Many religious people will say God punished that child for attempting suicide since it's a sin. Some will say that's proof that there is no God.

Idk what to believe in when shit like that goes on in the world.

I would not say that God was punishing that poor child for attempting to ctb. At least I hope He would not be so cruel!

 

[samhelloall9]

I'm an atheist nowadays, but I have a big ego or a narcissism, so I often confuse my self-importance for thinking like it's fate. Usually i'm an accident-prone, unlucky person, but then maybe i confuse what is unlucky for actually being lucky.
or everything is really just random events, i sort of lean to both. but i don't really know and don't really care.
all i know is, i just want to go out asap and go out the way i want to, on my terms, etc. you know how it is.

i like to think i've come this far, you know? still, variables can happen. sigh.

 

[bigj75]

I would not say that God was punishing that poor child for attempting to ctb. At least I hope He would not be so cruel!

I have no idea. I just know that death is better than suffering and I don't think anyone should be punished for choosing death over suffering. "Death before bondage."

 

[MissLisa]

Yes, I think I am meant to die. It is a confusing subject for me because I was told I was ill when I was seeing and hearing things that wanted me dead. I don't perhaps believe the same things that I did then but I do still hear and see them sometimes and I know that they are waiting. They don't scare me as much anymore. I don't mention it anymore though as no one understands. I find if people don't understand something then they find it easier to blame illness rather than try to understand.

 

[KCN]

Something powerful wants everybody to die for no reason whatsoever and it's called nature, an entity in perpetual contrast with itself

 

[SamK]

Yes. I am being pulled as though the creator itself were reaching out his arm to say ''it's alright sam.. i see you had enough.. come on over, come home''
What that really means to me is looking up at the night sky and feeling peace at the thought of becoming one with it..
Not to get too poetic though. I need coffee...

 

[throwaway123]

Yes. I am being pulled as though the creator itself were reaching out his arm to say ''it's alright sam.. i see you had enough.. come on over, come home''
What that really means to me is looking up at the night sky and feeling peace at the thought of becoming one with it..
Not to get too poetic though. I need coffee...

Same here :)

 

[SamK]

:) glad it made sense and you can relate lol. I was up all night. *matchsticks in eyes*

 

[windingdown]

Everything - absolutely everything - fell apart for me in a short amount of time. But I only believe in metaphysical perspectives when I'm in psychosis : ) I think life is mainly just lame biology, plus environment. Things fall apart.

 

[Ktmnny]

Have you ever felt that things were getting so bad for you, and so rapidly, that it was as if some highly powerful or even supernatural entity/entities wanted you dead? This isn't to ask whether you really believed, or believe, this to be true (though if so, please share your experience). Rather, have you ever been at the point that your circumstances felt as if they could be the result of a superpowerful entity's (or superpowerful entities') persecution?

YES

 

[lv-gras]

Have you ever felt that things were getting so bad for you, and so rapidly, that it was as if some highly powerful or even supernatural entity/entities wanted you dead? This isn't to ask whether you really believed, or believe, this to be true (though if so, please share your experience). Rather, have you ever been at the point that your circumstances felt as if they could be the result of a superpowerful entity's (or superpowerful entities') persecution?

at this point, yes

 

[samhelloall9]

If that were true, I'd be chugging anti emetics and N in a hotel room this week. Sadly that doesn't seem likely. F. sake.

 

[Steve]

Yes, that power is called Big Pharma and psychiatry.

Just two weeks of benzos prescribed by an irresponsible GP gave me severe withdrawals. Each and every time I trusted the doctors in the hospital, I ended up in a worse state then I stepped in.