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Multitude6369

Member
Jan 24, 2023
12
I've tried to CTB a couple of times now, and I've always struggled to overcome SI to a certain point. My first two attempts were by cutting. The first time I lost a lot of blood, but was unsuccessful in doing any serious damage (other than to my arms). My second attempt, I cut my neck and was 2mm from my corotid artery, but stopped due to SI. If I knew I was that close (they only told me on the way to the psych ward), I would've kept cutting.
The third attempt, I overdosed on barium chloride, but I was saved after 4 hours. I was physically paralyzed during that time.
I've looked into partial and the tourniquet method, both of which I've tried, but not to any serious degree. My problem is that I keep backing out.

Is there something I can go to a store and buy? I'd prefer some sort of chemical like SN, N, SA, or maybe some rat poison. I'm not picky, but I'd prefer that it be something I can physically go to the store and get. My parents check my mail.
Edit: I'm willing to get something by mail if necessary. I am desperate.
 

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