someone in family ctb

[gorgongrl]

I just found out a relative of mine has ctb. We weren't close so I'm not really affected personally but seeing the effect on my other family members is making me question going through with my plans. I had planned to ctb in November, by full suspension hanging. Now I don't know if it would be too much for my family to handle 2 deaths so close together and both self imposed. Is there any way as certain as hanging that I can make look like an accident? I wonder if it's better to wait till some time has passed or if it is insignificant since I will be causing pain either way. I've experienced a lot of deaths in my family and I feel numb to it now, but I don't want to be seen as inspired by this event, in a way I almost feel like I've missed my chance. This sounds quite selfish making someone else's death about me, but I am jealous that their plan worked and they beat me to it. I've already noticed family members being more suspicious of me too, since they know I've tried to ctb in the past. I hope that my relative is free of their worries now, I only wish I could do the same.

 

[アホペンギン]

I'm sorry your relative ctb and I'm also sorry about the fact that it is preventing you from advancing in your plans. It is true that your family will mourn your death just as your relative did but you should do what is best for you. If you want to continue your plans, you can do it but if you want to wait, that is also an option. I hope you figure something out, best wishes.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you would feel envious, I envy those who managed to leave on their own terms as now they are at peace, they cannot suffer anymore.

 

[gorgongrl]

I'm sorry your relative ctb and I'm also sorry about the fact that it is preventing you from advancing in your plans. It is true that your family will mourn your death just as your relative did but you should do what is best for you. If you want to continue your plans, you can do it but if you want to wait, that is also an option. I hope you figure something out, best wishes.

Thankyou, I'm not sure what I will do. I will keep preparing but I might have to delay my plan. Its strange how quickly things can change

I understand why you would feel envious, I envy those who managed to leave on their own terms as now they are at peace, they cannot suffer anymore.

I know that most people would think badly of me envying someone who has just passed. I appreciate you understanding my feelings, it's not easy when you feel trapped in this life and see other people leave and get to be free