Venting Someone I really envy

[struggles_inc]

I have this girl on my team. She looks up to me, I guess.
She is a bit light-headed, easy-going. You know the type. She is the type to think that a depressed person is "cool and mysterious".

Her attempts to become like me make me feel so miserable and make me hate her so much. I know she only sees a successful facade, I know it's not her fault. But every time she repeats after me, I feel like she's devaluing everything I feel every day.

I'm her boss at work and I feel grateful she respects me so much she wants to copy me, but at the same time I hate her so much for only understanding the good part.

Her life is fucking fun and calm. Yeah I know everyone has an inner struggle, but she doesn't have a fucking crippling depression. I envy her so much and despise her for not appreciating what she has.

Because inside she is really cool and I am just pathetic.

 

[Ichigo]

Its really rare to come across people who can take life easy, so you'd think she be grateful to have a fun easy life, but she wants to be depressed instead, why? I think maybe all the depression talk online makes depression seem cool to those who dont actually experience it. Then they want to be like us. But wont they dont know is that depression isnt something that makes you cool and mysterious. Its just ugly.

 

[F@#$]

Maybe she's good at hiding it too?