Someone has an incurable depression?

[Lutembëe]

I've been depressed for 10 years now, and my depression is getting more and more severe. I've tried about 7-8 treatments and it hasn't changed anything. Worse, I've had significant side effects. But the suicidal ideation was still there, and since January it's even worse. I'm obsessed, I think about it every day. I have a little voice that says to me "what's the point of doing this, you're dying soon anyway".
My psychiatrist doesn't know what to do anymore, she wants me to do very thorough examinations in one of the biggest psychiatric hospitals in my area. And I'm fed up with it, I know the only solution is CTB. No treatment will work for me, it's been going on for too long and peace can only be achieved by dying to shorten my suffering.

Anybody else going through the same thing?

 

[Donk]

sorry you going through so much hardship. have you tried ect , rtms or ketamine treatment?

 

[Lutembëe]

My psychiatrist didn't tell me, maybe she's waiting for me to take some tests. But with the lockdown, it won't be for months. I can't wait in this state.

 

[Ulisses]

I am experiencing the same problems. my depression prevents me from studying, socializing and paying attention to everyday tasks. my life is dull.

 

[Donk]

My psychiatrist didn't tell me, maybe she's waiting for me to take some tests. But with the lockdown, it won't be for months. I can't wait in this state.

do you have anyone at home for support?

 

[UnluckyFew]

Very relatable.

 

[Donk]

i dont want you to do anything you'll regret because you cant come back from ctb. you can always do it later. have you done any research on methods?

 

[lmroch]

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[Lost in a Dream]

I would say that my depression is incurable as well, but it's well-managed so that I'm not feeling suicidal every minute of every day. For me, the fact that the world is shit is what causes me to be depressed and I feel like the ONLY way to cure it would be to either die or live under a rock and smoke so much weed that I would be stoned 24/7. No amount of medication or therapy will ever cure it completely, but at the very least it isn't as terrible.

 

[Lutembëe]

I am experiencing the same problems. my depression prevents me from studying, socializing and paying attention to everyday tasks. my life is dull.

I'm the same... I'm not working on my doctorate anymore, I can't concentrate for more than 30 minutes. I've cut off my phone because I don't want people to come and talk to me and I've cut off my social networks. I want people to get used to my absence.

do you have anyone at home for support?

I'm in a lockdown with my boyfriend. But I can't talk to him about it. I already tried this summer and he told me that if I had suicidal thoughts he would leave me because he's not the only one who has to do that because he's also doing a doctorate.

Very relatable.

i dont want you to do anything you'll regret because you cant come back from ctb. you can always do it later. have you done any research on methods?

I can't CTB because I'm in lockdown with my boyfriend. But I chose SN since January, I got it a few weeks ago. I did a lot of research before choosing this method which seems to be the most peaceful for me because I don't have access to the N.

@lmroch Thanks for the videos! I will watch them tonight

I would say that my depression is incurable as well, but it's well-managed so that I'm not feeling suicidal every minute of every day. For me, the fact that the world is shit is what causes me to be depressed and I feel like the ONLY way to cure it would be to either die or live under a rock and smoke so much weed that I would be stoned 24/7. No amount of medication or therapy will ever cure it completely, but at the very least it isn't as terrible.

I'm glad to know your depression is still well-managed. I'm like you, this world depresses me even more and makes me cynical. People get on my nerves, I get more and more bitter.

 

[meerpasta]

Best way of curing depression will always be to fix the actual problem causing it, pills are just a hack way to treat it and if it doesn't work on you it's probably because you have a problem causing you mental and/or physical pain that you haven't been able to fix, or your brain could just be messed up but that's unlikely.

 

[toomuchtimetodie]

Yes I can feel what's left of my sanity slowly slipping. So now theres pressure for suicide, and I wasn't designed for pressure so it's hard. There have been times where I've been intoxication when I could feel all this starting and imaging ending up where I'm at now, thinking I should quit why I'm ahead. I damn well shouldn't of... Now suicide is this big awful task that seems impossible.

 

[MisanthropyInsanity]

The only thing that could ever cure my depression would never happen to me. I'm just ready to be dead at this point.

 

[Shelly2020]

I've have depression since I was 15 and I am now 29 lately it's got worst I don't want to talk to anyone only my family and my mind seems to far gone because I sit all day worrying about not getting back to normal it's so draining I can't concentrate on anything else other than the way I'm feeling its constant even when I go to bed at night I don't sleep medication doesn't seem to be working the only reason I havent committed suicide is because I'm afraid of what it will do to my family and my son it would ruin there lives but I really don't want to be miserable for much longer and I don't know how long I can go on like this I'm so confused

 

[esben350]

Same. Been depressed for 10 plus years.