Some suicide humor

[Ruffian]

This is a long set up to get to the joke, but I want to explain the reasoning.

I didn't think it was appropriate to put this is in the main thread, but I had a funny thought today. I was on an OD thread earlier today, and I'm going to stay off of these for awhile. I get impatient with people's questions because I think a lot of them are, well, stupid. This isn't high school, and you definitely are playing for points if you're looking to seriously CTB. So I usually end up replying to people with some tough love just because I know a lot about what NOT to do, and I have a pretty good understanding of how drug cocktails work. Someone pointed out to me that a lot of people on here are desperate and looking for simple answers. So I may need to chill out; I get it- I was that way when I first got on here.

After doing a lot of research I can't really settle on another method, maybe because I don't really want to die, maybe because they all look scary as f*ck. I guess that's why people probably would want to try an OD first because it sounds like a good idea, right? Anyway, I have a lot of saved info on decent OD information that I would like to combine and add to the Megathread, but I want to make sure it's thorough and accurate. A lot of them I can't do myself because I'm in trouble with the law from my love of all things medicinal and don't need to add to it by buying stuff off the internet. So I chuckled to myself when I thought I should make a brochure with the title, So you want to OD...? and include pictures of celebrities on the cover that died that way. Then do do's and don'ts lists with emoji's about how you'll feel, I think the poop emoji might be cute. Idk, does anyone else have some funny ideas? I could really do it - my sister is a graphic designer and she has ideation herself, so she would see the humor in it and might help me. She's pretty funny too. Maybe it's not that funny I don't know.

 

[Dead beat dad]

Brother, there is a lot of pain and suffering here, but without humour (gallows or otherwise), the world would be a much darker place.

 

[marcusuk63]

If i ate several packets of uncooked rice then had a mug of hot water and jumped up and down would i explode ?

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

If i ate several packets of uncooked rice and than had a mug of hot water and jumped up and down would i explode ?

 

[asaki]

"So.. You want to OD?" Funniest shit I've heard all day. Thank you haha. Don't think it's a terrible idea for people who understand dark humour tbh, and as far as I can tell most people on here do

 

[Letmego. Please]

2 big bags of popping corn, seasoning to taste, swallow then place oneself in a sunny spot & wait for your arse to blow your guts out....

Slightly left field but @Ruffian i think you might like a cartoon series by Andy Riley called Suicide Bunnies, its very 'Heath Robinson' x with lemmings but is very cool, a couple of examples below


I have one of his cartoons as a tattoo....

 

[Ruffian]

2 big bags of popping corn, seasoning to taste, swallow then place oneself in a sunny spot & wait for your arse to blow your guts out....

Slightly left field but @Ruffian i think you might like a cartoon series by Andy Riley called Suicide Bunnies, its very 'Heath Robinson' x with lemmings but is very cool, a couple of examples below
View attachment 10573View attachment 10574

I have one of his cartoons as a tattoo....

I so have to check this out! Yeah, my humor is so dark it's ridiculous.

"So.. You want to OD?" Funniest shit I've heard all day. Thank you haha. Don't think it's a terrible idea for people who understand dark humour tbh, and as far as I can tell most people on here do

I'm glad you laughed; I was worried it was inappropriate. I just think it would fun to make for the hell of it and may even be therapeutic. But who would actually read it? I just see the cover with Amy Winehouse, Prince, Heath Ledge, etc. but photoshop in some vials of pills and bottles of liquor next to them. I think for whatever reason it's probably easier to OD when you aren't actually trying.

"So.. You want to OD?" Funniest shit I've heard all day. Thank you haha. Don't think it's a terrible idea for people who understand dark humour tbh, and as far as I can tell most people on here do

Yeah, some people were talking about a method that was developed by a goddamn team of medical professionals awhile ago. You can PM for a link for info purposes if you want. I refuse to put it up for a thread because of the league of morons that can't past read past 140 characters. Like, do I have to use cimetidine? Can it be ranitidine? Yes, go ahead, even though a team of doctors clearly state which one you need to use and that you can't substitute. that one. But hey, they're only doctors, what do they know? It's a peaceful death if you follow the recipe, but if you don't you'll be in agonizing pain for 36 hours. Sure, take 2 Xanax, when the recipe clearly states 500 Valiums, it won't matter. I'm not even going to bother posting it, so if I send it to anyone on here, please don't say a peep to anyone. It is seriously reliable and that's all we need is a bunch of idiots who would probably post it to their Instagram. I had to really get up in someone's grill about bringing up something that should definitely be kept on the downlow. Not suicide wise, it's a separate issue, but same idea. Common sense isn't common at all.

 

[Letmego. Please]

I am so glad i am not the only one who want to knock some common sense into a load of peeps on here with their endless stupid questions & then deciding that so & so method was utter shit cause it didn't work for them.

Thanks

 

[Jolene40]

Can you produce a monthly magazine? It could have a dear john problem page and suicide of rhe month awards. How about a suicide themed wordsearch - prize draw winners get free trip to Dignitas - no questions asked. You could do a double page spread on microwave head or chainsaw neck guy

 

[Ruffian]

Jolone40 that's great! The free trip to Dignitas!! Who are microwave and chainsaw neck guy? I love anything that's dark and twisted! We could even do something like Wheel of Misfortune where people have to guess the method/combination. __ O_IUM N_TR_T_, etc. Yeah, most comedians are depressed & Bill Burr has made some comments about when and what makes him want to commit suicide. He does a whole bit on how he wanted to just because he couldn't make pie crust. It had me ROTFL. He said he could deal with major life events, but something small like that put him over the edge. . Maybe he could be guest columnist with philosophical musings on what really makes people take their own life.

 

[Letmego. Please]

I guess a pastiche of the 'Korean method' that came out of a recent PN update would be pointless given the daftness of the idea anyway.
But we could go for a Darwin award type thing of method of the month

And a Suicide crossword is a must, that would be flipping brilliant.

 

[DoneWithThis]

The suicide stuff starts at 0:54 in.

 

[Ruffian]

The suicide stuff starts at 0:54 in.

OMG So true!!!! I'm liking Stanhope a lot more lately. I'm a huge Bill Burr fan too

 

[DoneWithThis]

I'd almost like to start a new thread about dark stand up comedy. And see what everyone's into. Bill Hicks and George Carlin would definitely be on my list as well.

 

[Ruffian]

You know who cracks me up but is so not dark? Mitch Hedberg. I can't imagine him with a Twitter account

I'd almost like to start a new thread about dark stand up comedy. And see what everyone's into. Bill Hicks and George Carlin would definitely be on my list as well.

I do love Hicks as well. Carlin was also good, but towards the end all he did was rant and rave about politics and atheism. Which he's perfectly entitled to, but it was as funny as listening to Lenny Bruce read his trial transcripts.

 

[DoneWithThis]

Yeah he's great. Great one liners.

 

[Ruffian]

Tdt

I guess a pastiche of the 'Korean method' that came out of a recent PN update would be pointless given the daftness of the idea anyway.
But we could go for a Darwin award type thing of method of the month

And a Suicide crossword is a must, that would be flipping brilliant.

How did I miss the Darwin Award? We should do this, but I think we'd have to check with mods first.

 

[DoneWithThis]

Damn. I know it sounds messed up but still couldn't help laughing.

 

[Pistolero114]

Suicide would be my way to say to life; Fuck you. You can't fire me; I QUIT!!!

I don't know. Humourous? Thoughts?

 

[Letmego. Please]

As we in europe are having a nice heatwave at the mo then the Popcorn plan could be a go go for a blow blow...

I think one of the reasons Helium (a few yrs back) was such a brilliant idea, for me at least was the fun of recording a note, maybe an anonymous call to a suicide hotline, then giggling my way off this hellhole..

I have also always wished for my eventual death to be classed as Misadventure rather than suicide as that sounds honestly much more like me as a person.