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May 16, 2018
I found this comment on r/deadredditors. I really connected with this.

Well, if it makes anyone feel better, based on his post language, it appears he went out clear headed and calm. Not rash, hyper emotionally or manic. It's always disappointing when someone makes a rash decision to end their lives. I don't think this was one of those decisions, solely based on what he wrote and how he wrote it.

I get the feeling he really thought about what he was doing and decided to end his life -- that is if he really ended it and didn't just leave reddit/the account.

Most consider suicide as an ugly option. Something that is always a mistake. And often it is... people decide to kill themselves under undue stress rather than waiting the stress out. But I think in a percentage of cases there's justifiable reasons for it.

Often it comes down to pain. Most people see physical pain as a justifiable reason for suicide. I feel emotional pain is just as bad. Sometimes, some people just have a hard time in life. Their brains function, but not quite like other people. They can't figure out social interactions as easily as others, they can't develop or maintain relationships like others and they can't live what most consider a truly fulfilling life.

I get that indication from his post when he says, "It has been a long time since I have spent time with people in a positive way, with people I consider actual friends."

I understand pain like this. Trying as hard as you can to develop relationships with others and failing over and over again. Living in perpetual loneliness. Many, like the weedy species we are, find ways to cope and survive under these circumstances. But some are broken, bitter and unhappy. Others stay positive and find ways to occupy themselves. Some even eventually put the puzzle pieces together and figure it all out.

But it's hard. It's not a fun way to live. If /u/56189489416464 decided with a clear mind that suicide was a better option than whatever problems he was facing in life, then I can understand that. I can respect that decision.
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May 9, 2018
The people who care and understand the most, are the people who hurt in the same ways.
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