pawlessz

pawlessz

silly
Nov 15, 2023
33
as much as im suicidal i want to hurt my family with my death especially my mother because shes the one to lead me into this state, even tho she thinks she treated me rights and she actually loves me while emotionally abusing me my whole life i want to CTB to make her suffer as much as possible, because ik she wouldnt want me to do it
 
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Some place nice

Some place nice

This world makes me sick
Oct 18, 2023
468
I feel the same way that's why my method is so messy. I want to traumatize my mom with my death.
 
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pawlessz

pawlessz

silly
Nov 15, 2023
33
I feel the same way that's why my method is so messy. I want to traumatize my mom with my death.
whats the method if u dont mind telling? i want to do it witha gun but i cant get one easily where i live
 
Some place nice

Some place nice

This world makes me sick
Oct 18, 2023
468
They ignore me until I'm happy so imma cut a smile into my face and slice my entire arms down and imma try to go past the bones and cut open my throat. It takes a lot to get that done but I'll do it.
 
pawlessz

pawlessz

silly
Nov 15, 2023
33
They ignore me until I'm happy so imma cut a smile into my face and slice my entire arms down and imma try to go past the bones and cut open my throat. It takes a lot to get that done but I'll do it.
damn isnt that so painful, i wouldnt me able to do it
 
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hellispink

hellispink

poisonous
May 26, 2022
1,231
I am pretty sure that if she didnt care while alive , much less would she after passing . Of course this person will go through grief but they will move on and still be happy. We cant live ones life blaming other people for our misery. This comes from a person like me that has abusive parents both of them physically emotionally psychologically. One must be responsible for one own life, not one else is supposed to love us or owe us anything whatsoever, not even the individuals that gave me life.
 
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SmollMushroom

SmollMushroom

send N pls
Sep 27, 2023
405
as much as im suicidal i want to hurt my family with my death especially my mother because shes the one to lead me into this state, even tho she thinks she treated me rights and she actually loves me while emotionally abusing me my whole life i want to CTB to make her suffer as much as possible, because ik she wouldnt want me to do it
I'm not sure that's a good way of reasoning. I did have some similar thoughts in the past because one of my parents played a big part in ruining my life, but you know, at the end of the day, it's your life.
Your mother, for how emotionally destroyed she can be, will eventually recover, like most people do. And if she doesn't, you won't be here to tell anyways.
Sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear, it's just my point of view on the matter.
 
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todeswunsch

todeswunsch

On overtime in life
Oct 19, 2023
160
I sometimes feel kinda the same, doing it for revenge. Or to be taken seriously, sth like that.
But I endup feeling this is actually losing. I want to CBT for my own reasons and only, not because of ppl.
I have mixed feelings regarding this revenge thing, as the more hate I have, more likely I am to actually do it.
I hate so much it all, mum and humans in general, but I don't want this to be my reason. Not just don't want but it seems my SI won't let me too.

Whatever the course of action you take, I wish you the best. Good luck and may you accomplish your objectives.
 
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NoHorizon

Experienced
Nov 22, 2022
276
While I feel similarly that often I'd like the people who have caused me to be in the place I am mentally to be wracked with guilt when I die, the reality is any suffering felt by such cruel people will be very short lived (and if they're narcissistic then they may manipulate the situation into making people feel sympathy for them).

I'm trying to move away from those thoughts and feelings and focus on peace for myself, either through recovering from the trauma or by ending my life.
 
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