Same. I think I will just try to distract myself from the reality of it, partly by being here rather than alone, and partly not doing anything much special beforehand. Just a goodnight drink.
You shouldn't drink alcohol with SN anyway as SN absorbs better with less acidity in the stomach and would increase the risk of vomiting.
You could use some benzos instead if you're comfortable with those. They'll reduce anxiety and relax you a bit and aid sedation; just don't take too much too early.
I plan to crush up some xanax pills, not sure if that's optimal but I know I tend to get weirldy suicidal/not-caring-about-my-well-being when I'm under its spell.
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