Venting Social isolation and feelings of disconnection

[dunkelheit]

So much yet so little has changed from the time I was in high school to now.

I had so many people in my life in my adolescence... but they never truly had the time for me. When the school day finished I didn't exist. I was drowning in the illusion that I had friends by my side when in reality I was isolated and alienated beyond belief.

It's now been 4 years since I've left high school and nothing has changed. Almost everyone is gone, there is no feeling of connection with anybody. I work, I take my meds and I sit alone in my apartment with nobody by my side.

I was born to be alone, I was born to suffer and am merely a birth that should have been terminated.

Misanthropy is not a deviation from the human condition but rather an inevitable sentiment. Its embedded through being forced to commute with other human beings on a daily basis.

 

[Schopenhauer]

I isolate myself as much as possible. Forced interaction with humans is one of the reasons I want to ctb. It's not that I hate people, but I dislike having to interact with over any extended period of time. In my building, I always take the stairs, just so that I never run into anyone in the elevator.

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

yes loliness is more harmful than smoking or massiv obesity according to studies

 

[ignominia]

I can relate, I isolate myself pretty much, my social interactions are just when I'm forced to attend class, or when there is an event in my city that i really wanna go, but even in the moment that i try to socialize more it's so difficult for me to fit in, I truly feel like an anthropologist in a lot of situations that I'm in, just seeing how the Other behaves

 

[Circles]

I never belonged here anyway and feel like an alien in a crowd full of strangers I've been with my entire life.

 

[TAW122]

I never belonged here anyway and feel like an alien in a crowd full of strangers I've been with my entire life.

I feel the same way too. Growing up I had people who were around me (during the school day) but once I went home after school, I didn't have anyone who cared or did much activities with me. I was generally pretty lonely growing up and now that I am an adult in my late 20's, things don't just get better. This is one of stronger reasons of why I will inevitably ctb, barring many others reasons.

 

[worldexploder]

yes loliness is more harmful than smoking or massiv obesity according to studies

I'm a smoker, a drinker, and moderately obese. The bus may catch me.

 

[Circles]

I feel the same way too. Growing up I had people who were around me (during the school day) but once I went home after school, I didn't have anyone who cared or did much activities with me. I was generally pretty lonely growing up and now that I am an adult in my late 20's, things don't just get better. This is one of stronger reasons of why I will inevitably ctb, barring many others reasons.

It's makes me wonder why peoples late teens to 20's will affect the outcome of the rest of their lives. Like if you don't get your shit together by a certain age you will be lagging behind the people who have life going for them. I feel like everyone is in on a secret that I don't know about. Like I skipped a certain lesson and now I'm lost in the middle of the ocean with no way to navigate.

 

[Throwaway563078]

I can relate, I isolate myself pretty much, my social interactions are just when I'm forced to attend class, or when there is an event in my city that i really wanna go, but even in the moment that i try to socialize more it's so difficult for me to fit in, I truly feel like an anthropologist in a lot of situations that I'm in, just seeing how the Other behaves

Can relate. I also feel like the observer the analyzer but never the observed etc. I gave myself the title "outcast of outcasts" lol

 

[Lra888]

I too feel completely isolated and unable to connect. When I get home from work I don't feel good at all, I never look forward to going home so I can be alone there.

This makes it seem so fucking pointless to maintain this work/life/meds situation because I work in order to perpetuate this horribly depressing situation. That's why I shall ctb.