-nobodyknows-
Arcanist
- Jun 16, 2024
- 415
I have a problem.
There are some people that I like to hang out with. They are very nice to me, but they often hang around other people that I am not very comfortable with. The other people aren't mean or anything, I just have some sort of mental block that I'm not able to get over with most people.
Anyway, they sometimes invite me to things, but they generally have other people around with them that I am not very comfortable with. And I will often just stand there awkwardly and listen to the conversation, not really able to speak up or anything.
But anyway, recently I just can't stand simply standing there. It's just too uncomfortable. I'd rather not go at all. I hope they aren't too upset about it, or think that Im angry with them or something.
I don't know. The whole thing sucks. I don't think it's something they could really understand, and even if they did I feel bad about making them feel like they have to make extra time if they want to spend time with me.
I don't really know what to do here. Part of me is tempted to just cut the cord since I'm suicidal anyway.
It's such a lonely feeling though. I feel so cut off. So distant from everything. It's as if only a small number of people notice me. And I feel like if I interact with them too much I will pull them away from the rest of the world, which I don't really want.
I sometimes wonder if it would be better for me to stay on my own. Not for me, but for others. Will keeping my distance help to shield them from the fallout when my time comes?
I hate myself so much.
There are some people that I like to hang out with. They are very nice to me, but they often hang around other people that I am not very comfortable with. The other people aren't mean or anything, I just have some sort of mental block that I'm not able to get over with most people.
Anyway, they sometimes invite me to things, but they generally have other people around with them that I am not very comfortable with. And I will often just stand there awkwardly and listen to the conversation, not really able to speak up or anything.
But anyway, recently I just can't stand simply standing there. It's just too uncomfortable. I'd rather not go at all. I hope they aren't too upset about it, or think that Im angry with them or something.
I don't know. The whole thing sucks. I don't think it's something they could really understand, and even if they did I feel bad about making them feel like they have to make extra time if they want to spend time with me.
I don't really know what to do here. Part of me is tempted to just cut the cord since I'm suicidal anyway.
It's such a lonely feeling though. I feel so cut off. So distant from everything. It's as if only a small number of people notice me. And I feel like if I interact with them too much I will pull them away from the rest of the world, which I don't really want.
I sometimes wonder if it would be better for me to stay on my own. Not for me, but for others. Will keeping my distance help to shield them from the fallout when my time comes?
I hate myself so much.
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